On Relational Veracity

[God's Anointed Angel]

D. Carl Brown
September 14, 2008
HRD-307
Professor Charles Chill

On Relational Veracity

I.} Opening – I am D. Carl Brown and the topic of my presentation will
focus on three basic elements of healthy relationships.

A. Genesis 2:18 records that God says that “…it is not good that man
be alone”. That statement established mans interdependence to each
other. We need each other.
B. Noted author and management consultant Margaret J. Wheatley said in
her book, Never Eat Alone, “Relationships are all there is. Everything
in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to
everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop
pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.”
C. There is an increasing decline in the number of vibrant, healthy
relationships. You can see it in the rising divorce rate. You can feel
it in the ever widening fissure of political ideologies and
allegiances in government. You can gauge it by the severance of
contracts between banks and homeowners.
D. In our fast-paced and technologically advanced culture we have be
steadily, but surely, led away from the concept of neighbor. A greek
interpretation for our word neighbor is nearby. The fact of the matter
is we are being driven apart from each other….Both figuratively and
literally.
E. There must be a way to put the personal back into our interpersonal
relationships. We’ve got to get back to the basics.
F. There are three fundamental elements of interpersonal relationships
that will be paramount in rebuilding our fractured relationships. They
are communication, trust, and integrity.

IIa.} Middle - The first element that will be vital in restoring our
relationships back to health is communication. Technological
advancement has somehow brought the world closer together while at the
same time, driven us further than we’ve ever been from each other.

A. Webster defines communication as a transmitting or a giving or
exchanging of information or messages.
B. “Old World” ways of exchanging messages and information have been
improved upon dramatically down through the years. In fact, if the
creators of the various media were to be able to see their forms of
communication today they would be flabbergasted. The telephone, radio,
television, newspaper, and mail systems were way ahead of their times
during their inception. But today’s media is yet, further ahead today
than when they were invented.
C. The advent of the computer and its myriad of communicative
functions, (instant messaging, e-mailing, online phoning, etc…) has
virtually allowed for worldwide communication. But the cost of
technology, at times…Costs.
D. It appears that we have been far removed from the original
intention of communication. The old Michigan Bell slogan said it best.
It was to reach out and touch someone. To bring two parties toward
agreement and understanding.
E. Going back to basics of face-to-face communication, whenever
possible will have profoundly effective impact in all of our lives.
When we begin to reintroduce ourselves to that, we can begin again to
master the art of non-verbal communication as well.
F. When the fine art of communication is mastered it will, inevitably,
lay as the foundation to the restoration of healthy relationships.
IIb.} The next element that will be vital in restoring our
relationships back to health is trust. To add imagery to the
relationship between communication and trust remember this analogy.
Think about building a skyscraper. Communication is the foundation for
a healthy relationship. The deeper that foundation is, then the higher
the structure (trust) will be.

A. Trust is defined as the firm relief in the honesty or reliability
of a person. From that definition, it can be understood why constant
communication is essential to the building of trust. You can have
communication without trust, but you can not have trust without
communication.
B. Trust has been eroded in many relationships in American society.
Large corporations have lost the trust of their employees. In fact,
entire industries have lost the trust of their employees. Politicians
by the score are losing the trust of their constituents (as well as
their spouses…). Defective communication is at the heart of it all.
C. William Shakespeare is quoted as saying “Love all…. Trust a few.”
Absorb that concept if you will. Why has the “circle of trust” been
diminished?
D. But trust can be rebuilt through constant communication and with
experience. Experience comes into play with communication, as it
relates to trust, because it is here where experience matters. Your
quality time spent in your relationship, on your job, with your
children, or wherever builds confidence.
E. So, ultimately, trust is built at the intersection of what you say
and what you’ve done.
IIc.} The next element that is vital in maintaining healthy
relationships is integrity. Trust is the perfect segue into this next
essential component. It is here where, as we say, the rubber meets the
road. The corrosion of integrity is the catalyst to the breakdown of
trust.

A. Integrity is defined as a steadfast adherence to a strict moral or
ethical code. It is also the state of being unimpaired or complete/
whole.
B. Integrity, by and large, suggests that your innermost values and
convictions are put into practice without compromise. You are
literally living what you say. Look at what Mohandas K. Ghandi said
concerning integrity. He said, “Happiness is when what you think, what
you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
C. The fact of the matter is, as the older generation suggested, when
you have Jack in the Box, Jim won’t pop out. Corporate America is
guilty of throwing surprises on the American workers by squandering
their pensions while the CEO’s break off millions in severance pay.
Integrity is compromised when you pull the rug out from under people
in this manner.
D. The bottom line on integrity is that after all is said and done, be
sure that more is done than said. This element is perhaps the hardest
of the three to redeem after it has been lost. It is not initially
established overnight… Once it is established, but shattered, it may
never be returned.
III.} Closing – Summary

A. The solution to restoring the foundation of our crumbling society
is fortifying its most vital component. The interpersonal
relationship.
B. Three elements that are critical to this restoration process are
all inter-related and interdependent on each other. Those areas are
communication, trust, and integrity. With these three in place, it
will add vitality to any relationship.
C. Integrity can not exist without trust, trust is not built without
communication, and communication is not desired from anyone lacking
integrity. All three are inseparable as it relates to establishing and
maintaining healthy relationships.
D. Thank you for your most gracious indulgence these past few moments.

This message was posted with the permission of the Author D. Carl
Brown.

I pray that it blesses your spirit.
This is God's Anointed Angel. Until next time treat other's the way
that you DESIRE to be treat, not as they treat you.