How Long Until a Cut?
The Jokester
|
|
From the Jokester |
Have a Look at This Joke & Matching Picture at www.thejokester.net |
|
Help
the Jokester’s eMail List Grow, |
||
|
|
||
|
Shave and a Haircut A man enters a barber shop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer
"Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"
"No problem," says the barber.
"Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
First Haircut I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son for his first haircut.
Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."
Getting a Haircut. Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
Men's version: Man2: Haircut?
Man1: Yeah.
How Long Until a Cut? A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, " How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours."
The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and a half." The guy leaves.
The barber who is intrigued by this time, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill. Follow that guy and see where he goes."
A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"
Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house."
|
||
|
Feel Free To Submit Some Of Your Favorite Jokes |
||
|
See This Joke & Matching Picture at: www.TheJokester.net |
||
|
Help My
Joke List Grow:
Invite friends and family at If you got
this email from a friend, |
||
All the Best: Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator, The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}.
Subscription Information:
ü Jokes are customarily sent 3 - 5 times per week covering a range of hopefully (?) humorous subjects!
ü Just remember, don't blame the messenger: I only send the jokes, I don't write them.
ü To unsubscribe see the instructions below or send me an email (be sure to tell me which group you joined).
ü But Wait! Before you unsubscribe, stop and think about it. Have you given the jokes enough time? The occasional bad joke is to be expected. Hang in there, maybe the next joke will make your day!?!?
From Your Often Misguided Humorist and Joke Moderator, The Jokester {aka Dan the Man}: Joke...@TheJokester.net