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"Tattoo"
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants
a tattoo of a turkey on her right thigh just below her bikini line.
She also wants him to put "Happy Thanksgiving" under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good. The
woman then instructs him to put a Santa Claus with "Merry
Christmas" up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too. As the
woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says "If you don't
mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your
thighs?"
She says "I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining
all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Thanksgiving and
Christmas!"
Signs You've Eaten Too Much at Thanksgiving Dinner
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Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around
you.
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Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17
feet tall.
·
You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the
earth's axis.
·
Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.
·
You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.
·
World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to
"back off!"
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CBS tells you to lose weight or else.
·
Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.
·
Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.
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You're sweatin' gravy.
Thanksgiving Dinner Prepared By Kids – A Thanksgiving
Cookbook
Ivette - Banana Pie
You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the
pie. Then you eat it.
Russell - Turkey
You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees.
You put gravy on it and eat it.
Geremy - Turkey
You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the
refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all
the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big
pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and
eat.
Andrew - Pizza
Buy some dough, some cheese and pepperoni. Then you cook it for 10 hours at 5
degrees. Then you eat it.
Shelby - Applesauce
Go to the store and buy some apples, and then you squish them up. Then you
put them in a jar that says, "Applesauce". Then you eat it.
Meghan H. - Turkey
You cut it into 16 pieces and then you leave it in the oven for 15 minutes
and 4 degrees. you take it out and let it cool and then after 5 minutes, then
you eat it.
Danny - Turkey
You put some salt on it to make it taste good. Then you put it in the oven.
Then you cook it for an hour at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.
Brandon - Turkey
First you buy it at Fred Meyer. Then you cut it up and cook it for 15 hours
at 200 degrees. Then you take it out and eat it.
Megan K - Chicken
You put it in the oven for 25 minutes and 25 degrees and put gravy on it and
eat it.
Christa - Cookies
Buy some dough and smash it and cut them out. Then put them in the oven for 2
hours at 100 degrees. Then take them out and dry them off. Then it's time to
eat them.
Irene - Turkey
Put it on a plate and put it in the oven with gravy. You cook it for 1 minute
and for 100 degrees. Then it's all cooked. Your mom or dad cuts it and then
eat.
Moriah - Turkey
First you cut the bones out. Then you put it in the oven for 10 hours at 600
degrees. Then you put it on the table and eat it.
Vincent - Turkey
You cut and put sauce on it. Then you cook it for 18 minutes at 19 degrees.
Then you eat it with stuffing.
Jordyn - Turkey
First you have to cut it up and put it on a plate in the oven for 9 minutes
and 18 degrees. Then you dig it out of the oven and eat it.
Grace - Turkey
First you add some salt. Then you put it in a bowl. Then you put brown sugar
on it. Then you mix it all together with a spoon and then you add some milk
and mix it again. And then you put it in a pan. Then you put it in the oven
for 15 minutes and 16 degrees. Then you take it out of the oven and then you
eat it.
Alan - Turkey
First you shoot it and then you cut it. And then you put it in the oven and
cook it for 10 minutes and 20 degrees. You put it on plates and then you eat
it.
Jordan Salvatore - Turkey
First you put it in the oven for 15 minutes at 100 degrees. Then you cut it
up and then you eat it.
Jordan Simons - Chocolate Pudding
Buy some chocolate pudding mix. Then you add the milk. Then you add the
pudding mix. Then you stir it. Then you put it in the refrigerator and wait
for it to get hard. Then you eat it.
Whitney - Turkey
Cut it and put it in the oven for 50 minutes at 60 degrees and then you eat
it.
Jason - Chicken Pie
Put the chicken in the pot and put the salad and cheese and mustard and then
you mix it all together. Then put chicken sauce and stir it all around again.
Then you cook it for 5 minutes at 9 degrees. Then you eat it.
Christopher - Pumpkin Pie
First you buy a pumpkin and smash it. Then it is all done. And you cook it in
the oven for 12 minutes and 4 degrees. Then you eat it.
Christine - Turkey
First you buy the turkey. Then you cook it for 5 hours and 5 degrees. Then
you cut it up and you eat it.
Ashley - Chicken
Put it in the oven. Then cut it up. Then I eat it.
Jennie - Corn
My mom buys it. Then you throw it. Then you cook it. Then you eat it.
Jordan - Cranberry Pie
Put cranberry juice in it. Then you put berries in it. Then you put dough in
it. Then you bake it. Then you eat it.
Adam - Pumpkin Pie
First you put pumpkin seeds in it. Put it in a pan and bake it at 5 degrees
for 6 minutes. Then take it out and eat it.
Jarryd - Deer Jerky
Put it in the oven overnight at 20 degrees. Then you go hunting and bring it
with you. Then you eat it.
Christina - Turkey
Get the turkey. Put it in the oven. Cook it for 43 minutes at 35 degrees. Put
it on a plate, cut it up, then eat it.
Joplyn - Apple Pie
Take some apples, mash them up. Take some bread and make a pie with it. Get
some dough and squish it. Shape the dough into a pie shape. Put the apples in
it. Then bake it at 9 degrees for 15 minutes.
Isabelle - Spaghetti
Put those red things in it. Then put the spaghetti in it. Then cook it in the
oven for 2 minutes at 8 degrees.
Bailey - Chicken
Put pepper and spices on it. Cook for one hour at 60 degrees. Then eat it.
Nicholas - White and Brown Pudding
First you read the wrapper. Get a piece of water. Stir. Then you eat it.
Sean - Turkey
Put it in the oven for 5 minutes at 55 degrees. Take it out and eat it.
Lauren - Turkey
First you find a turkey and kill it. Cut it open. Put it in a pan. Pour milk
in the pan. Put a little chicken with it. Put salsa on it. Take out of pan.
Put it on the board. Cut into little pieces. Put on a rack. Put in the oven
for 7 minutes at 10 degrees. Take out of the oven and put eensy weensy bit of
sugar on it. Put a little more salsa on it. Then you eat it.
Olivia - Corn
Get hot water and put on stove. Wait for 8 minutes. Put corn in. Then put it
on a plate. Then eat.
Siera - Pumpkin Pie
Get some pumpkin and dough for the crust. Get pumpkin pie cinnamon. Cook it
for 20 minutes at 10 degrees.
Kayla - Turkey
Buy it. Take it home. Then you cook it. Put it in the oven for 1 hour. Take
it out of the oven. Put it on a plate. Then you eat it.
Tommy - Pumpkin
Cook the pumpkin. Then get ready to eat the pumpkin.
Wai - Pumpkin Pie
Get a pumpkin. Cook it. Eat it.
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