In the Land of the Frozen Heart
Still Undefined
the northern lands, Michigan!
I thought my travels had to do with the physical location as to where
I sojourned, the deserts or the mountains of the West. However, the
landscapes, new and unfamiliar, thus so breath taking, had one thing
in common...change....as in nature, inevitable and welcomed. Every
day was a new day with new thoughts, realizations, and new unexpected
joys.
I recall the sound of the wind through the trees overhead, as I slept
on the earth, snuggled tight in my sleeping bag, but with an exposed
hand, buried in the musty, rich earth...so not to forget my
connection....even though, my mind would still be racing with the
constant flow of thoughts, ideas, movies, fears, resentments,
anger...sadness...the endless parade of images that would not shut
off.
Then, somehow, I traveled to the land of frozen hearts. I am not sure
how I got here....but I have hoped that I would be alright since I had
experienced the early morning warming sunshine of New Mexico, as I
would sit upon a desert boulder, exposed to the warming morning rays
of light.
I was truly greeting the rising sun with joy, with every part of my
being....beyond the mind.
Little did I realize that the land of frozen hearts is not a location
way up here in the snowy north, but it is a chunk of
time....frozen....non moving, ever repeating thoughts, like the
reruns, over and over again...like in the movie, Groundhog Day.
However, the rerun is not only a day….but a year. Every January, it
starts again….locking our minds in a futile repetition of events, in
our efforts to not feel the pain of the unspeakable, the limitation,
the loss, and the death….of the frozen heart.
As I recognized that my anger left me frozen in time, the thaw
began. Like the flow of melting glaciers, the trickles of water
formed, meandering beneath the massive frozen element of millions of
frozen hearts. Each trickle, looking for a way out, slowly is
released from its icy grip.
Eventually, as we meander, we mingle with others, creating rivers,
moments of joy, happy to realize we are not alone. (Gatherings?)
The clear water is the heart unfrozen…free of the anger and rerun
thoughts of fear or limitation.
Now I remember….Barton Springs of Austin…where the pure water flows
out, from the Heart of Hearts, to the suface of the earth, cleansing
anyone willing to submerge one’s frozen heart.
Though our minds be distorted and twisted beyond recognition, our
hearts are free.
I hope for your unconditional love, as our waters flow together, that
I may find the courage to follow my heart, to live by my heart, thus,
to love you, unconditionally, in return.
….for as you love, I love.