Would Someone Critique My Introduction?
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Anna Greenwood
May 11, 2009, 7:09:00 PM5/11/09
to Mr. Smirk Bio acc
I would love a critique on my just-written introduction for my
project. I especially would like to know if anything is unclear about
what I am doing as my experiment, and where, if anywhere, more
examples are needed. I thank anyone who will do this in advanced for
their time. I know you all are quite busy.
Just so you know, the superscript numbers will refer to the references
that will be in the reference section. I have saved that information.
It's just not included here. If you would like to know the sites, I
have that saved for your convenience.
Thanks! Here is the link (it's a google doc)
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dd6358js_9ghzw6mc7
~Annah
project. I especially would like to know if anything is unclear about
what I am doing as my experiment, and where, if anywhere, more
examples are needed. I thank anyone who will do this in advanced for
their time. I know you all are quite busy.
Just so you know, the superscript numbers will refer to the references
that will be in the reference section. I have saved that information.
It's just not included here. If you would like to know the sites, I
have that saved for your convenience.
Thanks! Here is the link (it's a google doc)
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dd6358js_9ghzw6mc7
~Annah
Kruthi Isola
May 11, 2009, 9:03:08 PM5/11/09
to Smirk...@googlegroups.com
Are you doing this specifically on apples?? Because you say "fruit" and then switch to "apples" and then back to "fruit" so if you could clarify that, it'd be good.
"factors should have a comma after it, so that it is not a run-on sentence, are should have a colon: after it, to signal that a list is coming (I think..??)
(basically the grammar)
"its personal needs" or "person's needs", not "person needs"
Other than that 1st paragraph's clarity and the minor grammar stuff, its fine...I think....
Anna Greenwood
May 16, 2009, 2:27:23 PM5/16/09
to Mr. Smirk Bio acc
Thanks so much kruthi. would you mind critiquing all my sections? I'm
gonna put up each of them, so if you would do what you just did, that
would be fab.
On May 11, 9:03 pm, Kruthi Isola <kruthi.is...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Are you doing this specifically on apples?? Because you say "fruit" and then
> switch to "apples" and then back to "fruit" so if you could clarify that,
> it'd be good.
> "factors should have a comma after it, so that it is not a run-on sentence,
> are should have a colon: after it, to signal that a list is coming (I
> think..??)
> (basically the grammar)
> "its personal needs" or "person's needs", not "person needs"
> Other than that 1st paragraph's clarity and the minor grammar stuff, its
> fine...I think....
>
gonna put up each of them, so if you would do what you just did, that
would be fab.
On May 11, 9:03 pm, Kruthi Isola <kruthi.is...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Are you doing this specifically on apples?? Because you say "fruit" and then
> switch to "apples" and then back to "fruit" so if you could clarify that,
> it'd be good.
> "factors should have a comma after it, so that it is not a run-on sentence,
> are should have a colon: after it, to signal that a list is coming (I
> think..??)
> (basically the grammar)
> "its personal needs" or "person's needs", not "person needs"
> Other than that 1st paragraph's clarity and the minor grammar stuff, its
> fine...I think....
>
Jason Ransegnola
May 25, 2009, 11:04:03 PM5/25/09
to Smirk...@googlegroups.com
i just skimmed it but did u identify objectives
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