The Remote Patrol: 4/6: World Turning
Thomas Heald, Esquire
by Thomas Allen Heald, No, still not feeling any better
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
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TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
Even with its "Celebrity" edition, "The Apprentice" keeps "For the Love
of Money" by The O'Jays as its theme song. What was the theme for the
failed spinoff "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart"?
A) "Color My World" by Chicago
B) "I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan
C) "Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress" by The Hollies
D) "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" by Aretha Franklin
E) "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by The Eurythmics
The answer when next we meet. Or not.
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8 p.m.
IT'S BEEN QUITE ADAY
Catch up with "HOUSE" (Fox), who has a slice of Meatloaf with relish.
THANK YOU EASTER BUNNY (I)
Go between Iraq and a hard place "IN SEARCH OF JESUS' TOMB" (National
Geographic).
It's a twisted mashed potato fight on "DANCING WITH THE STARS" (ABC) as
the contestants perform both dances mentioned in "Do You Love Me" by the
Contours.
OH, BOY.
"CHUCK"
(NBC) reconnects with his father, Scott Bakula, and then meets his hero,
who is Chevy Chase. (And you're not.)
9 p.m.
Michigan State and North Carolina battle for the whatever it is trophy
on the "NCAA's HOW I BET YOUR MOTHER" (CBS).
THANK YOU EASTER BUNNY (II)
Participate in a car wash fundraiser thrown by the Da Vinci Co-Eds on
"SECRETS OF THE KNIGHTS TEMPLAR" (National Geographic)
Jack runs from The Hunter on "24 HEROES" (Fox NBC).
Dilip Mehta remembers "THE FORGOTTEN WOMAN" (Sundance) as a tribute to
the widows of India.
9:30 p.m.
The producers of MAD-LIBS(tm) Saturday Night Sci Fi Channel Movie
Theater present "SURVIVING SUBURBIA" (ABC), with (insert name of actor
from crappy sitcom) Bob Saget, (insert name of decent actress from
crappy sitcoms) Cynthia Stevenson, (insert name of actor from crappy
sitcom) Jere Burns, and (insert name of crappy actor from "Melrose
Place") Dan Cortese.
John Mahoney cheats on his son Frasier by going "IN TREATMENT" (HBO)
with Dr. Paul Weston.
10 p.m.
THANK YOU EASTER BUNNY (III)
"WHO REALLY KILLED JESUS?" (National Geographic) reveals that it was
actually an over-zealous Mall cop. Bummer, dude.
"RASCAL FLATTS: A DAY IN THE LIFE" (CMT) shows what it's like to cover
songs by Tom Cochran and they have them be ruined even further on
"American Idol."
"THE HILLS" (MTV) returns for season five following Trixie, Kitten, and
... I dunno, Tootie?
James Van Der Beek stands up in a boat on "MEDIUM" (NBC).
TALK TALK
* I guess "The Daily Show" has been trying to book Michael J. Fox for a
million years.
* The Colbert Report is news to Tom Brokaw and Rich Lowry.
* Tavis has a secret he's keeping from Kevin Spacey.
QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
Which Space Ghost character starred in Cartoon Network's "Brak Presents
The Brak Show Starring Brak"? It was Brak.
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"The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2009 Thomas Allen Heald and
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reserved.