The Remote Patrol: 4/29 : And one more for the road
Thomas Heald, Esquire
by Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
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8 p.m.
An undercover cop and a coworker's husband are under suspicion on i"LIE
TO ME" (Fox) Lightman (Tim Roth) "is brought in when an undercover cop
shoots an innocent teenager while chasing a drug suspect. Elsewhere,
Lightman’s suspicions are rekindled when he sees the husband of Foster
(Kelli Williams) "with another woman.
Obama explains the reason his administration accidentally released the
swine flu over New York City as an unfortunate photo op on "PRESIDENTIAL
LIKE TO ME" (ABC, CBS, NBC)
Mental illness is a "CRY FOR HELP" (PBS) among teenagers. If you really
want to know how depressed they are, just look to see how little they're
paying attention to Ashton Kutcher's Twitter feed.
9 p.m.
Faraday reveals the secret of the island on "LOST" (ABC). Unless he
doesn't.
In honor of Rat Pack week, Simon Cowell smokes, drinks, and beats up a
hooker on "AMERICAN IDOL RESULTS SHOW" (Fox). Just kidding. That's what
Danny Gokey will be doing after the show.
10 p.m.
Walter Cronkite goes to London just to ride the ponies on "LEGACY OF
WAR" (PBS).
The aristocracy heads downstairs as the lady of the house reveals she'll
have to compete for jobs with her former "LIVE-IN MAID" (Sundance),
"SMITH" (DirecTV Channel 101) returns on Not Necessarily Brilliant But
Definitely Canceled Theatre.
10 p.m.
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. She looks like, one
of those rap guys' girlfriends. But, you know, who understands those rap
guys? *scoff* They only talk to her, because, she looks like a total
prostitute, 'kay? Presenting "RAPPER WIVES: THE E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY"
(E!).
10:30 p.m.
Murder mystery party on "RENO 911!" (Comedy Central)? I haven't felt
this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film.
TALK TALK via Interbridge.com
Daily Show: Doris Kearns Goodwin
Colbert Report: David Kessler
Tavis Smiley: Kristin Chenoweth, Roger Wilkins
David Letterman: Jennifer Garner, Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk, Manchester
Orchestra
Jay Leno: Jimmy Fallon, Chris Matthews, Zac Brown Band
Jimmy Kimmel: Dominic Monaghan, J.J. Abrams, Bang Camaro
Craig Ferguson: Kenneth Branagh, Antony and the Johnsons
Thomas Heald, Esquire
by Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
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8 p.m.
"UGLY BETTY" (ABC) hunts for easter eggs with Matt's dad David Rasche,
no stranger to this timeslot which he once had as "Sledge Hammer."
Was Chloe helping the not dead Davis on "SMALLVILLE" (CW)? If so that
definitely means ... something.
Greg steals the rival school's mascot and hides a frat brother's corpse
inside on either "The Brady Bunch" or "BONES" (Fox). Bring in Sam the
Butcher for questioning.
9 p.m.
Bad daddy was shot seventeen times by his daughter on the most episode
appearing tonight episode of "GREY'S ANATOMY" (ABC).
9:30 p.m.
Elaine Stritch returns to "30 ROCK" (NBC) in her annual quest for Guest
Actress in a Situation Comedy Creative Arts Emmy Award. Meanwhile, Jenna
adopts a monkey.
10 p.m.
"HARPER'S ISLAND" (CBS) has been pulled for a rerun of "Criminal Minds."
And with only 10 more episodes to burn off.
"FORBES 15 HOT HOLLYWOOD MOMS" (E!) salutes Yo Mamma's Day.
"4 MONTHS, 3 WEEKS AND 2 DAYS" (Sundance) salutes I don't want to be a
mama so I'm wanting an illegal abortion in Romania Day.
TALK TALK
* The Daily Show has Hugh Jackman explain the Papa John's Wolverine pizza.
* The Colbert Report has Ethan Nadelman explain the Pizza Hut Mole Man
pizza.
* Kimmel puts on lipstick for Brooke Shields, Balthazar Getty, and
Kumail Nanjiani
* Tavis lets Joshua Cooper Ramo and Mike Krzyzewski do their thang, dog.
* Dave and Regis are "Hair" raising.
* Jay, Matthew McConaughey, Earvin "Magic" Johnson, and Starsailor call
the Ghostbusters to capture a filled specter.
* Craig discloses himself to Michael Douglas and Carrie Ann Inaba.
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"The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2009 Thomas Allen Heald and
Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc. All rights
reserved.