The Remote Patrol: 5/1 Mayday! Mayday!
Thomas Heald, Esquire
by Thomas Allen Heald,
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
TOM'S TWISTED TOTALLY TRIVIAL TV THINGY
---
Before not being coherent enough to become Miss USA, Miss California
Breast Implants Spokesbimbo Carrie Prejean was actually a losing
contender on another show. Which?
A) "American Idol"
B) "Deal or No Deal"
C) "Fear Factor"
D) "Jeopardy"
E) "The Price is Right"
The answer on the next Sally Jesse Raphael Show.
---
8 p.m.
"GHOST WHISPERER" (CBS) investigates a creepy doll house. Yes, you know
the 9 p.m. joke.
"EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS" (CW) deals with a bomb threat. What? They're
watching "Harper's Island"?
In the thrilling season finale of "HOWIE DOES IT" (NBC), Howie does it.
9 p.m.
Alan Tudyk, one of the unsung actors of "A Knight's Tale" guests on
"DOLLHOUSE" (Fox) which investigates a lazy TV columnist.
Suicide rocks "ESCAPE TO CHIMP EDEN" (Animal Planet) as Janette and
Bosco attempt to decipher the hidden meaning of Faraday's note written
using his own poop.
Someone has a gun on "FLASHPOINT" (CBS).
10 p.m.
Barney Frank doesn't want to have sex with you either on "REAL TIME WITH
BILL MAHER" (HBO).
11 p.m.
Woody Allen, Larry David, Spike Lee, Natalie Portman and Michael
Bloomberg are Chevy Chase on an "AMC NEWS SPECIAL" (AMC) ... and you're
not.
TELE-GEBRA
"Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" - Celebrities - Dr. Drew = "PAUL
RODRIGUEZ & FRIENDS: COMEDY REHAB" (Comedy Central).
TALK TALK
* Tavis creeps out Mary Higgins Clark.
* Dave gargles for Kiefer Sutherland, Jim Norton, and Bat for Lashes.
* Jay pounds the boards with Arsenio Hall, Jules Sylvester, and Ziggy
Marley.
* Jimmy judges Matthew McConaughey, Kara DioGuardi, and Jason Aldean.
* Craig visits with two guys: Ryan Reynolds and Ricky Hatton.
QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
What's the only reason to have watched both Bravo's
A-List Awards" and "The TVLand Awards"? One full bottle of sleeping
pills and a Colt .45 only had you mildly suicidal.
---
But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The
Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear
Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc.