The Remote Patrol: 3/23: A litter of babies, a liter of formula
Thomas Heald, Esquire
by Thomas Allen Heald, Pennitent
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
Which of the following was an ABC series starring Tim Daly?
A) "Ears"
B) "Eyes"
C) "Noses"
D) "Throats"
E) "At Least It's Not Wings"
The answer when next we meet. Or not.
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8 p.m.
SO LONG FOR A WHILE
The Pez is dispensed on "THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER" (ABC
Family).
The "Arrested Development" of "CHUCK" (NBC) continues with Tony ("GOB"
Bluth) guesting as the man who created the Intersect Computer in the
first place ... or did he?
Steve Wozniak busts a move and/or a rib on "DANCING WITH THE STARS" (ABC)/
8:30 p.m.
Ted loses a big gig on "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER" (CBS). And there the lie
begins.
9 p.m.
Swoosie Kurtz guests as the secret identity of "Rebel" is revealed as
the Bryan Fuller writing begins anew on "HEROES: THE QUEST FOR A SEASON
4 PICKUP" (NBC).
TELE-GEBRA
"Friends" + Actually socializing with African Americans = "ROOMMATES"
(ABC Family).
SWEEPSPLOITATION GUEST STAR PATROL
James Van Der Beek stands up in a rowboat at "ONE TREE HILL ... CREEK"
(CW) Lucas and Julian struggle with the film production. And Jamie
discovers the truth about Dan and Uncle Keith. James Van Der Beek guest
stars.
Jack is framed for killing Chandra Levy and Nicole Brown Simpson on "24"
(Fox).
9:30 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"New Adventures of Old Christine" + "William Morris = "SOPHIE" (ABC
Family) In the latest Canadian series picked up by an American network,
Natalie Brown stars as Sophie, a single mom and talent manager. In this
pilot episode, her boyfriend-business partner runs off with her best
friend and most of her clients.
10 p.m.
Shooter Jennings and Jamey Johnson meet at the "CROSSROADS" (CMT).
America's next top drag queen is revealed on "RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE" (Logo).
Good thing Kurtwood Smith just died on "24," as now he can play someone
already dead on "MEDIUM" (NBC).
TELE-GEBRA
Twins + Twins + Septulplets + At least Groucho took his cigar outta his
mouth every once in a while = "TABLE FOR 12" (TLC).
The Russian mob targets "CSI: MIAMI" (CBS). Boy, that's hitting below
the Borscht Belt. <Remove sunglasses. Cue sting from song by The Who"
and orange tinted footage of Everglades fanboat.>
10:02 p.m.
A (formerly) rich kid winds up face down in a rowboat in Central Park on
"CASTLE" (ABC). Bring me the head of James Van Der Beek.
TALK TALK
* Tavis gets mental with Simon Baker and Newt Gingrich.* Dave has a
house party with Hugh Laurie and Bloc Party.
* Jay judges Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Ryan Seacrest, John Cena,
Playing For Change.
* Craig loves Paul Rudd and George Wallace, man.
* Jimmy Fallon tattoos you with Regis Philbin, Kat Von D, Jon Glaser,
and Morrissey
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QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
Whats the name of the blue businessman who unfortunately always gets
Grover as his waiter at Charlie's Restaurant? Mr. Fred Johnson, who
lives up the block from Bert and Ernie at 14 Sesame Street.
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CORRECTION: Our report on "On the Town" listed an incorrect definition
for "down." It is actually goose feathers and not "The Battery." We
regret the error.
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But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The
Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear
Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc.