The Remote Patrol: 4/23 : Would you like to shoot me now or wait 'til you get home?

[Thomas Heald, Esquire]

The Remote Patrol for Thursday, April 23, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

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TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TELEVISION TRIVIAL TEST THINGY
NBC is reviving "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me out of Here!" which bombed on
ABC in 2003. Who won that edition?
A) A current contestant on "The Celebrity Apprentice"
B) The ex-wife of a "Dancing with the Stars" loser
C) The host of "Dirty Dancing: The Reality Series"
D) The host of "Make Me A Supermodel"
E) The current "Tonight Show" announcer

8 p.m.
"SMALLVILLE" (CW) has a new superhero, Stiletto, aka Lois Lane. Her
shocking secret: she looks like a pump, but feels like a sneaker.

The "DOVE AWARDS" (Gospel Music Channel) features American Idol loser
Chris Sligh, whom you'll remember as the American Susan Boyle.

"IN TREATMENT: PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" (HBO) goes behind the
appointment book.

8:30 p.m.
Oscar nominee "TROUBLE THE WATER" (HBO) relives the carnage of Hurricane
Katrina through the eyes of a 24 year old documentarian.

9 p.m.
I GUEST SO
"The Wire's" Idris Elba checks in for an arc at "THE OFFICE" (NBC).

9:30 p.m.
I GUEST SO II: THE CON OF WRATH
Salma Hayek and Steve Buscemi stalk "30 Rock" (NBC)

10 p.m.
"THE BEAST" (A&E) ends season one with a cliffhanger -- Will Patrick
Swayze still be alive for season 2?

Tom Sizemore and C. Thomas Howell are magical on "SOUTHLAND" (NBC).

There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man and bring him to the
ground.
You can beat him, you can cheat him, you can treat him bad, and leave him
when he's down. (Yeah.) But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you. I'm
standing on my own two feet. Out of the doorway the bullets rip on
"HARPER'S ISLAND" (CBS) repeating to the sound of the beat. Oh yeah.
Another one bites the dust.

TALK TALK
* Jon upsets his constitution with Richard Beeman.
* Colbert has a cow with Elizabeth Bintliff.
* Tavis gets a triple word score with Ambassador Arturo Sarukhan and
Anika Noni Rose.
* David is grateful for Jamie Foxx, Lauren Conrad, and the Dead
* Jay makes Jules Sylvester, Ryan Reynolds, and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
feel mighty real.
* Kimmel just can't get enough of Channing Tatum, Elisha Cuthbert, and
Depeche Mode.
* Craig thinks Teri Hatcher and Martina McBride are super. Thanks for
asking.
* Fallon saves the day with Ali Larter, Mike Tyson, James Toback, and
Tinted Windows.
* Carson is pretty in pink with Eliza Dushku and Brett Dennen.

QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
Besides Drew Carey, which cast member of the US edition of "Whose Line
Is It Anyway?" was also an executive producer? Twas none of the people I
listed yesterday ... Ryan Styles made a splash on the the UK edition and
when Drew made the ABC edition Styles stepped up as a executive producer.

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