The Remote Patrol: 3/21-22: Plus if you act now
Thomas Heald, Esquire
by Thomas Allen Heald, Still bald for Children's Cancer Research
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
Whats the name of the blue businessman who unfortunately always gets
Grover as his waiter at Charlie's Restaurant on "Sesame Street"?
A) Mr. Davis
B) Mr. Jones
C) Mr. Johnson
D) Mr. Meredith
E) Mr. Smith
The answer when next we meet. Or not.
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SATURDAY
8 p.m.
The "COPS'" (FOX) 750th episode captures viewers of the 500th episode
of "WWE Smackdown."
ONE DAY = SHARK WEAK
"ICY KILLERS: SECRETS OF ALASKA’S SALMON SHARK" (National Geographic).
9 p.m.
A raped hooker may be the missing link in a murder case on "ACCORDING TO
JI..." (just kidding) "ASHES TO ASHES" (BBC America).
LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian fall in lust in Lunacy, Alaska on "NORA
ROBERTS’ NORTHERN LIGHTS" (Lifetime), on "MADLIBS-Piece Theatre.
"
10 p.m.
Greg Kinnear raises an eyebrow on "THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW " (BBC America)
SUNDAY
7 p.m.
Sean Astin and Tim Curry star in Terry Pratchett's "THE COLOUR OF MAGIC"
(ION) AKA Not Harry Potter.
8 p.m.
Yes those are elephants on "THE AMAZING RACE" (CBS).
While Homer has Moe's, Grampa Simpson has O’Flanagan’s Pub in
Dunkilderry, Ireland on "THE SIMPSONS" (Fox). I smell a caper! (Oh wait,
no it's soda bread.)
"SECRETS OF THE DRUIDS" (National Geographic) reveals why they don't
look Druish. This joke brought to you by Mel Brooks. Coming soon to
Broadway: "Blazing Saddles." Throw up your hands. Stick out your tush.
Hands on your hips. Give 'em a push. You'll be surprised, you're doing
the French Mistake. Voila!
King Silas and General Abner plot against David on "KINGS" (NBC), and
just as in the original scriptures, the secret to defeating him lies in
a psychic cat who can predict death.
9 p.m.
Lois finds Michael Moore is less on "SETH MCFARLANE CAN PRETTY MUCH DO
WHATEVER HE WANTS AT THIS POINT AS HE'S RICHER THAN A.I.G." (Fox).
Jack has to rescue a kidnapping victim while on the run for allegedly
killing a Senator on the season finale of "BIG LOVE" (HBO).
10 p.m.
The puppets are absent as the Mr. Wick lights up the stage on "CRAIG
FERGUSON: A WEE BIT O' REVOLUTION" (Comedy Central)
"FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS" concludes season two as the guys move in with
their biggest fan.
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QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
What was the first Stupid Pet Trick on the "Late Night with David
Letterman"? A sneezing dog.
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CORRECTION: Our report on Pamela Anderson misidentified her breasts as
being hooters. They are, in fact, knockers. We regret the error.
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But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The
Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear
Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc.