The Remote Patrol: 3/28-29: Seven days make one weak
Thomas Heald, Esquire
by Thomas Allen Heald, waiting for Godot
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
Who currently resides at Arsenio Hall's former digs at "Stage 29 at
Paramount Studios on Melrose Avenue, in the heart of Hollywood,
California in these United States onnnnnnnnnnnnn this planet we call Earth?"
A) Byron Allen's "Comics Unleashed"
B) "Dr. Phil"
C) "Entertainment Tonight"
D) "Judge Judy"
E) "Rachael Ray"
The answer when next we meet. Or not.
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TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
How much does the "Wheel of Fortune" weigh?
A) 500 pounds
B) One ton
C) 2,500 pounds
D) Two tons
E) 50 Vanna Whites
The answer when next we meet. Or not.
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SATURDAY
8 p.m.
The "KIDS' CHOICE AWARDS 2009" (Nickelodeon) smells what the Rock is
cooking. And it's not an award for Chris Brown.
9 p.m.
Jerry O'Connell has ghosts whispering to him in "NORA ROBERTS' MIDNIGHT
BAYOU" (Lifetime). Oddly enough, it's the word "Sliders."
"THE NON-OLYMPIC WORLD FIGURE SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS" (NBC) kicks the
regularly scheduled "Celeb Apprentice" with added footage repeat to the
curb.
It's Jack Coleman's turn to save the world from an evil weather machine
on "POLAR STORM" (SyFy), on "MAD Lib Title Generator Theatre."
9:30 p.m.
"THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR" (Nickelodeon) hunt down Wall-E and take
away his Academy Award.
10 p.m.
Ricky Gervais spends extra time on "THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW" (BBC America).
SUNDAY
8 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
Maya Angelou x "Charlie's Angels" = "THE NO. 1 LADIES' DETECTIVE AGENCY"
(HBO). Probably not the "Sopranos" sized hit HBO wants, but better than
"East Bound and Down."
Okay, so "Grease: You're the One that I Want" did so well on NBC that
the lead in the unnecessary Broadway revival is now usually someone from
"American Idol." Perhaps the British version will be better as Andrew
Lloyd Weber, Graham Norton and John Barrowman decide "ANY DREAM WILL DO"
(BBC America) in the casting of the next lead for "Joseph and the
Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."
Homer and Marge are getting remarried on "THE SIMPSONS" (Fox). Wacky
mayhem ensues.
Penn and Goudeau will still be talking about the "Gorilla? Gorilla??
Gorilla??? (Thailand)" episode of "THE AMAZING RACE" (CBS) on Monkey
Tuesday. Pops, they're so much like us!
David parties while King Silas spends time with his dying bastard son on
"KINGS" (NBC).
9 p.m.
A psychic cat who can predict death wanders the streets of London in
"LITTLE DORRIT" (PBS).
Get your fill of albino, bacon and escalator jokes with "JIM GAFFIGAN:
KING BABY" (Comedy Central).
"Attack of the Show's" Morgan Webb gets her own series going deep into
the "G4 UNDERGROUND" to investigate amateur pr0n and real life costumed
vigilantes.
SWEEPSPLOITATION GUEST STAR PATROL
The cast of Star Trek the Next Generation beams onto "FAMILY GUY" (Fox).
"THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE" (NBC) delivers room service. Seriously,
Trump. Fire Rodman.
10 p.m.
"Torchwood's" lead figures out why he's a poofter on "THE MAKING OF ME:
JOHN BARROWMAN" (BBC America).
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QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
Who currently resides at Arsenio Hall's former digs at "Stage 29 at
Paramount Studios on Melrose Avenue, in the heart of Hollywood,
California in these United States onnnnnnnnnnnnn this planet we call
Earth?" It's the "Dr. Phil" Show. And now here is your host Doctor
Philllllllllllllllllllll!
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But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The
Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear
Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc.