2014 Season in Review

[Jeremy Steed]

Here ye, here ye!  The playoffs begin!

I would first like to congratulate everybody on a decent regular season.  Some good drama here and there, a boatload of complaints, several blocked trades, and the heavy hand of the Fuhrer preserving competition in the face of great adversity and public scrutiny. 

A few observations from DC League history books and the season that was:

• No team has made the playoffs every year in its three year history.  Only two teams (Kentlands & Free Sandusky/Tyler's Team) return to the playoffs from last year.
• Despite a renewed sense of enthusiasm, Josh Robins (El Beso Negro/MuffinTop) has never made the playoffs.  He is the only team to have never enjoyed the playoffs, notwithstanding a short appearance by Martha Crotty.  Fucking pathetic.
• The Fuhrer is not shocked to have found that this season's lowest point total comes from MuffinTop at 59.  During Week 10 of the 2013 season, El Beso Negro scored 29 points against GibbsFogarty.
• Congrats to GibbsFogary on winning the points title 1555.  You get nothing as a prize. 
• Ramrod played to win the game!  Despite low scoring all season long, the mastermind Fuhrer strategically played each match-up to win the day.  As a result, the Fuhrer finds himself in the fourth seed while several teams will watch.

Playoff payout.  I am suggesting the first place team wins $800 and second place team gets $300.  For those in the playoffs, if you have a different idea of how you think the payouts should be allocated, let me know your thoughts.  Once the games start on Thursday, I will not change it.

Preview of the biggest games of our lives to come.

Fuhrer

[Keith A. Lazere]

First and second may have to cut a secret backroom deal. 

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Keith A. Lazere
914.772.9912

[Todd Helman]

I recommend a New League Rule ("The Rule" or "NLR") for 2015:

No vetoing trades, unless they are trade-backs.  If you're worried about back-door deals, they are as American as Buffalo Wings and Apple Pie.  And last I checked, this is an American league.  We can limit the ability to trade back the next week, since that is blatant bullshit, however the lack of trades this year is pathetic and the league-luster is at an all-time low.  The NLR will restore excitement to the league.

[Ian Lingwood]

Ok if that is the new rule then I will trade away my entire team to whoever wants to split the winnings in 2015.  #wingsandpie

Sent from my iPhone

[Todd Helman]

Trade deadline passed.

[Todd Helman]

Oh sorry, for next year...yeah...Ian, a backdoor deal is not meant to be announced.  Hence the whole backdoor thing.

[Todd Helman]

The rule can be amended until its passed, but you get my thinking.

[Brian Lemek]

It just needs to be a rotating "trade board" of 3 owners from the league. Every trade gets voted on by 3 people. Vote yes/no, if no, then why. Can't be "no, because Josh hasn't been laid since 'Nam". But could "no, because you can't trade Rodgers for RGqueer"

Sent from my iPhone

[Josh Robins]

The league is in shambles. Espn is reporting it's possible to be the next UAB football program 

Josh Robins

Jeffco Development Corporation

Mobile: 240.832.5038

Office: 301.564.5128

www.JeffcoDev.com

[Thomas Clute]

League,

Jeremy asked me to forward this email to everyone.  Looks like we finally broke him. 

When I first started this league I thought it was going to be a blast. I invited 11 of my friends to play fantasy football with me an activity I quite enjoyed. That is no longer the case. Over the last 13 weeks or so I have endured a myriad of unforeseen but utterly preventable problems. The list includes: 3 attempted briberies, multiple calls for my resignation, 1 call for my impeachment, 3 separate people questioning my friendship and integrity, countless of you coming to my work to complain about the league, and 1 obvious count of collusion. This all reached a boiling point over this last week when two of our owners contrived a plan in order to improve one team (via a lopsided trade) just so the other owner could get into the trade pool. When I asked the two about the trade they told me that if I did not put the trade through they wanted their money back. As I had not received an complaints from other owners I allowed the trade. After that however I received a slew of complaints from other owners. I am going to reverse this trade, that decision is final. Now before all of you get up in arms I would like to remind you of one very important point. This is just fantasy football. We are playing for $800 which is nothing to sneeze at but come on is it really important enough to cheat out your friends and colleagues? I must be the poorest and youngest of all you and I make that in two days work. You people are all out of your fucking minds. I cannot explain how utterly miserable this year of fantasy football has been. I considered all of you to be friends and people that I cared about but apparently the lure of $800 is too great and nothing like friendship or decency could get in the way. Needless to say this will be my  last year as your commissioner. I would also like to use this time to let those of you who care know that I will not be in the baseball league next year. I'm sure you're all broken up about this. If anyone has any questions or complaints go ahead and write them on a piece of paper, find a nice envelope, and shove it up your ass. Best of luck in the playoffs.

Happy Hanukkah,

Jeremy

[Todd Helman]

This letter is driving me insane.  ONE SPACE AFTER A PERIOD.....THE WHOLE LETTER!!!

I just slapped my analyst.

[Keith A. Lazere]

hiding behind his publicist.  typical.

[Brian Lemek]

I thoroughly enjoyed the season, you guys.

Brian M. Lemek
ble...@gmail.com
240.731.7264 (cell)

[Casey Civiello]