WOKED: The Musical
Write the musical WOKED, a spoof of Wicked with male characters. Make E a right-wing reactionary, and G politically correct. Ensure a redemptive ending for both.
ChatGPT Prompt
Characters
- Ethan “E” Thornwell (a.k.a. “The Canceled One”) – A quick-witted, deeply contrarian conservative student who rails against political correctness, wokeness, and the “death of Western civilization.” Over the course of the story, he realizes that his provocations have unintended consequences.
- Gabe “G” Lightman (a.k.a. “The Righteous One”) – A progressive golden boy who believes in the absolute necessity of social justice. He starts off as a self-righteous enforcer of political correctness but gradually learns that people are more complex than their worst opinions.
- Dean Ozborne – A university dean who changes policies based on whatever is least controversial at the moment. He tries to keep donations flowing while pretending to be a moral leader.
- The Internet (“The Mob”) – A faceless, ever-present chorus representing online outrage. They build up ideological heroes only to destroy them at the first misstep.
- Felix De León (a.k.a. “Brogressive”) – A charming but hypocritical social justice activist who knows all the right buzzwords but isn’t willing to put in the work.
- Dr. Morrible – A radical professor who pushes students toward extremes, mentoring E into reactionary politics while grooming G into a ruthless enforcer of ideological purity.
- Boq (a.k.a. “The Troll”) – A nihilistic student who enjoys stirring up online drama and watches both sides tear each other apart for sport.
Act I: The Firebrand and the Enforcer
Opening Number: “No One Is Safe”
- Students sing about how one wrong word, one outdated opinion, or one tweet from ten years ago can destroy their reputation.
- E and G are introduced as ideological rivals. E ridicules “woke nonsense,” while G preaches about the importance of progress and justice.
Scene: The Debate (“Trigger vs. Traditions”)
- A heated class debate between E and G escalates into a campus-wide spectacle.
- G insists that words are violence, while E argues that free speech is under attack.
- Their professor, Dr. Morrible, stokes their rivalry for her own amusement.
Song: “Cancel Me Softly” (E’s Solo)
- E realizes that his defiant attitude has made him a target. He sees himself as a martyr, but his reckless words begin to backfire.
Scene: The Protest (“We Will Deplatform You”)
- G leads a protest against a controversial speaker. E attends in defiance.
- Things spiral out of control, and E is caught in a viral moment that brands him as a campus pariah.
Act II: The Canceled and the Crusader
Opening Number: “Hashtag Villain”
- The internet chorus turns on E, taking joy in his downfall.
- G basks in victory but begins to see cracks in his own ideology as some of his allies turn on him for past “problematic” behavior.
Song: “What If I’m Wrong?” (G’s Crisis)
- G questions whether he’s truly making the world better or just enforcing a new kind of dogma.
Scene: The Reckoning (“Public Apology Bingo”)
- E is forced into a public tribunal where he must either repent or be permanently exiled.
- Instead of apologizing, he sings “Defying Outrage,” claiming he won’t bow to the mob.
- The backlash is swift, and G, who once led the charge against him, starts feeling uneasy about the destruction of his rival.
Finale: “Redemption is Woke”
- E and G, now both outcasts in different ways, find themselves in an unexpected conversation.
- They realize they both became pawns in a bigger game and that neither ideology has a monopoly on truth.
- The show ends with the two of them walking off together—not in perfect agreement, but in mutual understanding.
Themes & Satirical Targets
- The Weaponization of Ideology – How both reactionaries and progressives can become prisoners of their own dogma.
- The Fragility of Online Identity – How quickly the internet builds people up only to tear them down.
- The Myth of Moral Purity – How no one is truly “pure” by the impossible standards of any ideology.
- Redemption and Understanding – The idea that genuine dialogue is possible, even in a world that discourages it.
Reflections
WOKED is a satirical musical that follows two college students on opposite ends of the ideological spectrum. Ethan “E” Thornwell, a sharp-tongued reactionary who longs for a return to “traditional values,” and Gabe “G” Lightman, a politically correct golden boy who sees himself as the moral compass of the university. Their clashing worldviews lead to campus-wide chaos, cancelation, and ultimately, an unexpected redemption for both.
Set on a modern university campus where ideas are currency and reputations are fragile, the show explores the absurdities of ideological purity, the performativity of social justice and reactionary politics, and the possibility of genuine understanding in a divided world.
WOKED is a satirical but ultimately hopeful musical that suggests redemption is possible—even in the most polarized times. While it pokes fun at both ideological extremes, it ends with a call for understanding over outrage.
Lyrics: Defying Outrage / Reprise
“Defying Outrage”
(Sung by Ethan “E” Thornwell as he refuses to apologize in a public tribunal, knowing full well the consequences. The Internet Mob chants in the background, demanding his repentance.)
[Verse 1]
(E steps forward, facing the tribunal, defiant yet aware of the storm ahead.)
I used to think the world was free,
That speech was meant for you and me,
But now I see the rules have changed,
One wrong word and you’re deranged.
(The Internet Mob whispers, growing louder: “Apologize! Retract! Repent!”)
They tell me bow, they tell me kneel,
Confess my sins, embrace their zeal,
But I won’t play their little game,
No hashtags gonna change my name!
[Pre-Chorus]
(E turns to the crowd, half-mocking, half-tragic.)
Too late to edit what I said,
Too late to try and make amends,
They don’t want growth, they want control,
But I won’t break, I won’t be sold!
[Chorus]
(E stands on a table, raising his arms as the music swells.)
I’m defying outrage!
I won’t beg for your applause!
I’m defying outrage!
Go ahead, rewrite my flaws!
(The Mob chants louder, flashing phone screens and tweets appearing in the background.)
If I must burn, then let it be,
At least I’ll stand for what is me!
[Verse 2]
(E paces, contemplating his past statements, knowing there’s no way back now.)
I wasn’t perfect, I made mistakes,
But growth’s a crime that truth forsakes.
They say, “You’re out, you’ve had your turn!”
But who decides who gets to learn?
(The tribunal chairperson rises, shaking their head. G, watching from the sidelines, looks conflicted.)
[Bridge]
(E looks at G, a final plea for understanding.)
G, I know you think you’re right,
But don’t you see, this game’s too tight?
Today it’s me, tomorrow you,
They’ll find a sin to cancel too!
(G hesitates, glancing at the Mob, then back at E.)
[Final Chorus]
(E stands tall as the music reaches its climax.)
I’m defying outrage!
I won’t beg to stay alive!
I’m defying outrage!
Even villains can survive!
(The Mob reaches for him, their voices deafening.)
If standing tall means standing wrong,
Then let me go, I’ll die strong!
(Music swells, the Mob’s voices rise, and the lights cut to black.)
“Defying Outrage (Reprise)”
(Sung by Ethan “E” Thornwell and Gabe “G” Lightman in the finale, as they reconcile and reject the extremes that once defined them. The Internet Mob watches, confused and uncertain, as their heroes refuse to play their assigned roles.)
[Verse 1: E]
(E, standing on the outskirts of campus, weary but wiser.)
I fought so hard, I stood alone,
Turned every fight into a throne,
But all that rage, all that spite,
Never made the world more right.
(G steps forward, hesitant but changed, no longer the righteous enforcer.)
[Verse 2: G]
(G, finally questioning his old certainties.)
I thought the rules were clear as day,
That every sin had just one way,
But in this game of keep or kill,
Who’s the judge, and what is real?
(They look at each other, once bitter enemies, now something else—something more human.)
[Pre-Chorus: Both]
(They step forward, facing the Mob, who now murmurs in confusion.)
It’s not too late, it’s not too soon,
To break the script, to change the tune,
Not every fight is won by war,
Not every loss means less or more.
[Chorus: Both]
(The music swells, echoing the original anthem but with a softer, more resolute energy.)
We’re defying outrage!
We won’t play their perfect roles!
We’re defying outrage!
We are more than tweets and polls!
(The Mob hesitates—some lowering their phones, some still holding on to their anger, unsure how to react.)
If standing proud means standing wrong,
Then let us stand where we belong!
[Bridge: E & G in Harmony]
(They turn to the audience, a final reflection.)
E: They cheered me when I played the foe,
G: They praised me when I cast the stone,
E: But neither side will ever win,
G: If no one learns, if no one bends.
(They step forward, together.)
[Final Chorus: Both]
(The music swells one last time, triumphant but thoughtful.)
We’re defying outrage!
Not just villains, not just saints!
We’re defying outrage!
It’s not that simple, black and white paints!
(The Mob slowly disperses, some clinging to their old roles, others walking away, changed.)
If truth can breathe, if change can grow,
Then maybe grace is what we owe.
(They clasp hands, not in total agreement, but in mutual respect. The lights fade to black.)
[Final Note]
(The curtain falls as the audience is left with the question: What happens when the outrage machine has no villains left to consume? Can a world built on division learn to heal? The silence lingers before the applause.)
