What do people really want in life/society?

[Beaches & Nature fan]

Hi everyone,

In today's writing, I plan to, in my attempt, get down to the nitty gritty of what people really want in life, in society, in general.

Most people want a good amount of freedom. But not nearly as much freedom, as, say Libertarians want. Most people also want to feel safe and secure. So, they are willing to give up some of their freedom to achieve those goals. Hence, a government that can help provide those things (via law and order, regulation, a variety of benefits, etc). Now, the **degree** to which they want to give up their freedom, is what varies between most political parties, and most people. That variance is open to all kinds of debate, for another time.

Here is where things get deeper.

What most people also want to escape suffering. Now, suffering is a huge topic.I could say much more than what I am about to say, and may add more in later writings. So I will start here:

There is a saying that goes like this: "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

What is the difference between pain and suffering? Pain is pain of all kinds. Physical, emotional, mental,  etc. For the purposes of this writing, I am focusing on emotional and mental pain, since mental health is such a massive problem in this country.

Suffering is more than just the pain: it's when we want things to be different than what they are. Another way to put it is, suffering is when a person's mind interprets the pain, thinking about how bad their life is, or how bad the pain is, how unfair it is, how unfair their life is,how they wish things were different, etc. The more intense these thoughts are, the more attached we get to these thoughts, forgetting we're not alone, the more we suffer. These mental interpretations are really additional layers to the pain itself.

Thankfully, while pain is inevitable, it will come and go in our lives, there are some ways to control some of the suffering we face along with it.

There is a great philosophical dichotomy between the East and West, when it comes to Self. The East says there is no self, while the West says yes, there is a full self..

The issue is: If there is a self, what is it, really?  As I see it, it is a bundle of personality traits, philosophies, ***desires***. ambitions, ideas, etc. (yes I am sure there's more), that remain embedded in each individual.

Everyone has an idea of who their self is - or rather, who they think their self is. Some have over-inflated egos/ideas of who they think they are, some de-flated, others in the middle, etc.

The kicker, then is: one can have some idea of who they think they  are, and sometimes they may be right, but other times, another person can disagree. So person A can think they are this type of person, and person B can go "really? Person A thinks that of themselves? No way, they are so wrong, they have no idea what they are talking about." So this idea of the Self that each one has, is really just a construct of the mind. It's "in our heads".

This includes each person's desires. How often do we see that one's desires, goals and ambitions are never met? Quite often, I surmise. The goals vary of course: they could be social goals, career goals,. money goals. the goal to feel **self**-worthy more than they currently feel (again that's all in our heads), and more.

So suffering, occurs, then, when each individual's desires and ambitions are not met to their satisfaction (and again, "their satisfaction level" is in their minds).

So what do people do to alleviate their suffering? They can take a variety of measures. some of which only temporarily make them feel better but long term don't help at all:

1). They can take some violent action, thinking that gets rid of their suffering and anguish.I put this at the top, because that seems to be what some people are resorting to these days.

2). They can join safe spaces, and of course, some of them are good safe spaces. But . others are more negative, hateful ones. Well misery loves company right? So unfortunately, that kind of company may make them feel temporarily better. .but it could also give them justification to take wrong or violent actions.

3). They resort to drugs and drinking and other forms of abuse - again just a temporary relief, but afterwards they are right back on the train of negative thoughts, such as anger, depression, etc.

And, like everything else I write, I am sure there are more bullet points to insert here.

But, what can people do to alleviate their suffering in a way that is much longer lasting, lowers the temperature of anger and depression for a lot longer? Here are my thoughts:

1). And I place this at the very top, because whatever measures we take in the next points, really are "important bolsters" for this: It is important to have some understanding of the world, be it philosophical or spiritual, that elevates us from negative to more positive outlooks. A philosophy that makes us less angry, more positive, more understanding, patient, compassionate, etc. SOME understanding, SOME perspective, whatever it may be, that is helpful, not harmful. Perspective is so important, along with the emotions.

2). Things like meditation, diet, exercise, and dialoguing with others. seeking counseling/therapy, about these subjects. All of these "help" point #1. I put mind first, in all I've written here, as you can see. Because mental outlook is most important. Of course taking care of our physical bodies is vital, but you can do all the exercise and eating right in the world, dsek all the counseling in the world, but still have a negative outlook and attitude in life, with little perspective.

3).Not being too attached to our sense of self, i.e., who we think we are and what we expect out of life. Having an understanding of who we are is very important to survive and navigate in this world.But what is important is not to be too attached to that set of constructs of who we think we are. I am not suggesting the opposite extreme, and be totally detached to ourselves; that is just nihilism. But being too attached to ourselves, inevitably causes suffering if things don't go our way.  And that suffering can cause people to take drastic action to try to get rid of it. And sadly that kind of action is happening too often these days.

Well folks I have said plenty here. Take in what I said, take time to take it in. And either agree , or disagree, or be in between, and do either of those choices in an agreeable fashion.

Till next time,

Vik