It’s going to be one hell of a brofest on this season of The Bachelorette: wacky dates (they are mimes in France!), dinners for two on a castle lawn, awkward pedestal dancing at outdoor concerts, and the compulsory leaping from boats. We’re in for some pushing, partying, and general alpha male clashing, puffed chests and all. “I’m gonna test his manhood,” one contestant warns in a three-minute sneak preview. Then someone whispers something that sounds like, “If he fucks with me, Imma burn his house down.”
There’s way too much testosterone in this house. It’s like a real life fight is going to break out any minute. That sort of violence—even the threat of it—ruins the whole “going on a journey to find your prince charming” storyline. Who wants to see a bunch of alpha dudes bro-fight for this lady lawyer? Clearly less than tuned in to The Bachelor. Seven million viewers watched The Bachelorette’s yawner of a first episode—an 18 percent drop from the night ABC dropped Juan Pablo on us.