Grey and Light Added?

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Abrigon

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May 13, 2025, 10:07:04 AMMay 13
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Gray and Light Add?

PRINTED:_________________

May 2022


INDEX:

The Grail

I Will

Challenge Me

Reborn

Rise to Stand

A Hero Dies Today

Breath

Five Percent

Laberor

Lady of Light

Lantern

Lost Life

Mike

Morgoti

My Lover Thorozine

Native Women

Obsessive Love

Of Why I Cry

Old Age

Others

Reborn

Step By Step

Sticks and Stones

The Four

Trust Me

Umbrage

Walk Together

What Is A Man

--------

The Grail:

I seem to ramble

from place to place,

never staying one

in any one place,

ever searching,

like a knight on quest,

for that grail oh so dear,

so close but oh so far,

almost in sight,

but never visible,

I go on and on,

until the end is here,

and it draws near,

and I can hear the calls

of angels sweet,

and I shall finally drink

of that cup,

so rich and rare a draught

it shall be,

for in the end,

the cup will hold life,

and life is so sweet,

and to know this,

I quest.

Mike

May 1998

-------

P-I Will

Beat me, I will

Whip me, I will

Hurt me, I will

Tease me, I will

I will over come

2007

-----

CHALLENGE ME:


Sit me down

know I exist

Give me more

than just platitudes

and sit in the corner

until I am done.


I Live

I love

I know

and see


See me

touch me

hear me

know me


Challenge me

never let me go


Mike

2006


About wanting and needing to be challenged in my life..

-----------

P-Reborn


Oh a man once said to his son, son pray you have not done what I once done, to stand before the gates of hell and said to the beast with in, come forth you varmite and foul beast and face me, one on one, and come now quick, for I am dead but reborn..


Mike

2005

----------

P-Rise to Stand


I rise, to stand, a man broken and battered,

battered by the causes of the age, the trials

and tribulations of life, love and desire

for justice unbound, who cares to rise with me?

None, for all are dead around me, or gone to camps

and prisons strong before me, or locked in houses

and jails of their own making..


Prisons of conformity, and wanting to belong,

of thinking they are in power, illusions

of their own power and place..


Mike

2005

---------------

P-A Hero Dies Today

Hero or vilian

or just poor fool

suffering or aspiring

acceptance finding fear

misunderstood or driven

away or mad. Not wanted

or appreciated, doing

all for them but

they drive you away

or locked away and

forgotten, so why does

the hero do it?

Salvation, penance

acceptance, or its all

it knows or hope for

so in the end, a hero

dies today.

Mike

2009

-----------

P-Breath


Teeth hurt

Nose plugged

draining

clogged throat

astma active

allegies strong

Lungs hurt

clogged by

fluids solidifying

Each breath

an effort

to just live

one more breath

please just one

more breath.


Mike

2009?


About the fun of being astmatic, allergies and such.


-------

P-Five Percent:


A room, cave, dark and dreary.

a chair rises up but not to the sky,

but to cloths, or to a human,

figure in dirty clothes, alive

or dead? hard to tell, all you

can see is the cloths, figure there

now and later, lost in dreams or

darkness boozed up and lost

in a world long dead and lost.

Abandoned by all but others

of like nature and a bartender

thirsting for their money but

not for their lives.


A heap of what is flesh and bone.

Of rags and cloths unwashed.

A smell of urine and booze,

and body unwashed for weeks.

A being crumpled on stool,

often for hours unending

until closing and thrown out

to fend for self in a cold

dark world, hoping to find

warmth and comfort, but

not likely, for all are done

with them, for they are

chronic in their nature,

unwilling or unable to change

hopeless drunks or players

of games of chance.


Pull tabs fall below them on

the floor in a heap, as

the money they get, or

have falls into a bars till.

A drink done many times

in front, and will there

be money for another

and another, to might as

well have a straw into a

bottle with no bottom.


For all hope is gone,

brain is dead, liver wants

relief and smells of it.


Stench smelled from feet away

Face cragged and suffering from

decades of neglect. Eyes dead

to the world, mouth

drooling booze, and puke


Chronic or just plain terminal

Once alive, but now just waiting to die.

Slow and painful, all cast away

for family is done with them

for they are selfish,

or just lost. Lost to a world

uncaring or caring but unable to

help, for its hard to lead them

away from the water of death

they crave, and death style.


In places named for holy,

speed and northern, they rot

slowly and end up homeless

and forgotten and dead.

Dead slow, or suicidal,

all is the same, for its

self destruction all the same.


Nights of sleeping with

persons just for booze.

A place to stay, a life of

degradation and prostitution

and abuse, molested and used.


So in this, I say, who cares

for the five percent?


Detox, and shelter?

Police and ambulance?

Family who throws them out?


Mike Adams

2010


sorry been working on a poem, about a person or what is left of a person, after years of living in a local bar.. homeless, lost, and forgotten, nearly dead..well, sadly many go there and stay there..


the hidden 5% or maybe the 5% many see but not see past to the 95% who are sober and clean and happy?

------

P-Laborer


Laborer strong and dumb or just luck gone wrong

feeding self and family, or just lost in time

school costs money and work is long and tiring

Man caught up in day to day, hour to hour

lost in work and sleep, with little else

for all is work, hard and back breaking

long days, of toil, and troubles,

afraid one day the back will go and then what

Who will hire him, who will feed him,

who will take care of family when all

is said and done, who will be there?


Mike

Adams

2006

-----

P-Lady of Light:


Her eyes do warm the soul, to bring light to this darkness, to break the shackles of depression and anger, her eyes to pierce the gloom, and break the chains that bind his soul to to the darkness.. She walks in grace, down the stairs of his prison, to find him, to cast away the darknes and the shadows, all fall before her love and beauty, not dying but reborn in joy and happiness.. She sees him, alone in his cell, dirty and disgusitng in his filth and degredation, but she has but to touch him and it all falls away like a dream once had, but forgotten in the days before birth..


He stands up, his shackles fall away as he reachs to her and holds her close. Two souls joined as one, together forever, and no gloom can harm them in their love and desires, for it is born of love shared together, neither one above the other, shared loves, passions, desires, hopes and dreams.. together for an eternity and a day, never apart even when not together.. Bliss found and never lost.. For even past deaths door they go together, forever and more..


Mike Adams

2005

------

P-LANTERN:

A Lantern burning bright take the anger from my sight

remove this man who beats me so and make him pay for all to know

That I am dead and all shall know that he took me and destroyed me

slowly with word and threats of hands and fist and just control

with money, and emotions foul and coniving

A lantern was held up in loving hands of family and friends

but how to go to it or even leave the darkness behind, to stay and

be controlled and beaten but its all I know? He loves me, just

does not know how to show it, or some crap like that or is it just

a little girl, in the dark, alone and no help to guide her

There must be more a safe place to be to find another

better for you someone to not hit you abuse you, and use you

to not be controlled and beaten even if beaten in mind and soul.

Held down and kept down controlled by words and thoughts and

arms strong or just kept like an animal not loved but used

abused most foul. A spirit dead from years of mental anguish

or just not loved or not pretty enough or of drugs, and alcohol

some inside and some outside Lack of respect for self

lack of joy in ones blessing to leave the darkness

and take a small step but that step is agony for will he find me

hurt me, beat me, abuse me tease me, let me go and find

me and bring me back like some animal or worse, I go back to him

for he is all I know, all I have known, and I fear all I will know.

But there is more, or is this just a dream, a dream that is fading

by the hours and days.. I am trapped but held here not

by force, but by my own fear? Or just insecure of my blessing

and beauty and knowing I am worth more than this crap.

I am not a trouphy my children are not to be harmed but they are

hurt by mommys beatings. Why do I go back but how to leave, no money

no place to go, he will hunt me down and bring me back with friends

that will help him and I have none? Where shall I go, who will I be with

where will my children go and be safe God he has a knife and I have to run but where?

To the lantern held high and bright by loving and knowing hands

who take you in and hold the darkness at bay, and help you heal wounds

deep and numbing but always there.

2006

Still working on it. Wrote it for a gal I once talked to online.

------

P-Lost Life:


I sit here with my head in hand

wondering where my life has gone

what things of glory have I done

what deeds of might and honor

but all I do is sit here in the dark

and lament the wasted years

of depression and of darkness

darkness that I can not let go

for it is all I know.

Even when the light comes in

I block it out, hide it away

from my eyes, for the darkness

is my only comfort.

The light does not feel right

joy escapes of my own twisted choice.

Why can I not accept the joy

and light and live a happy life

why must I torment my self so

for when things are bad, I am comfort

and when they are good, I feel uneasy

uneasy that it will be taken away

cruely, like so many things in life

by a parent, a bully or just god

I know not, just that this has

to end, this life of darkness

of lost love and promises unmade

born was I to do great things

but I have squadered them away

like so much sand, thru fingers

that can not hold my head up

into the light, for the light

comes so quick, and then it is

snatched away, so I deny it

before it can be stolen away

is my claim. I know not,

just that help is not here,

but depression is so close

but held at bay for now

so in the end, what can I say

it is better than I was once

for I am active in finding

work, to replace the one I

so rudely lost of my own

stupidity and nature given

away.


Mike

2004


God I hope this year gets better, cause it is getting worse all the time.

------------

P-Mike


Man sitting, tensive of thought, head in hand, thinking of the days gone by,

feet hairy and bare, shirt white and strangly clearn, pants black,

eyes staring into space, or the lady of the camera I loved dearly,

but who left to go to the monster she desired more..


Mike

For Josie

---------

P-Morgoti:


A horse alive but dead a rider riding slumped

over, over a plain of skulls and dead strewn

around, or semblance of life is all you see..


Rider comes closer and you see the horse is

not living but not dead, but someplace in

between or parody of life it stands there

with rider, sitting rider with eyes dead

and lost, lost to the now, and the past,

or even future for each is just living.


Living a life that is not living, he knows

the pain of loss, not only life but of faith,

alone he stands, but not alone, for he is

crawling with life but not life, small and

nimble they are, they keep him alive even

when he no longer wishes to live.


Dead many times, some he remembers some he

forgets for the remembering is pain, to forget,

the only cure, or solution, as much as he feels

anything any more for his humanity was gone

long ago, how long no one knows for he has

lost the wish to keep time, just that this is

the now and he wishes to be dead to it, but can

not die, for they keep him alive if you can

call being more machine than man, living. Not

obvious, but they are there.


You look in his eyes, and all is dead, but

replaced by nothing for what is a man with out

hope, dreams and desires, emotions and the will

to live?


You look around and all that seems normal is not,

you realize with a start the trees, bushes and

animals all are dead, or some pale semblance of

life, for all are imperfect copies made for the

rider but he no longer cares, it is just there,

they just exist and he cares not.


No one else is here for all died ages ago, in some

thing the man knows of but not telling but knowing

is madness as it is for he was the one who brought

it about, in his pride, ignorance or just plain

stupidity he let it go and all died from it, for

all was consumed by it what it is is, all you need

to see around to know but you can not see for you

are not really here? or he is killing you eating

your soul draining your life but he knows not is not

conscious of it, for he no longer wants to know,

blocked from his mind and memories is your passing,

only that he keeps going not that he wants to keep

going but he plods one foot in front of the other,

or on the horse being he rides to the next victim,

for he has died many times to be taken back to

living for they will not let his body die even if

his soul died an age ago.


Mike

2005

-----------

P-My Lover Thorozine


Here I sit, on the bed,

small and light I am,

for all I do is walk,

strut, and shuffle

for thorozine is my

friend and I dance

with her all the

days long.


Mike

2004

------

P-Native Women


One Flaw In Native Women

Native Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Native Women come in all shapes, and sizes.

They'll walk, run or ride on horse back far just

to be with you, that is how much they care about you.

The heart of a Native woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Native Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN NATIVE WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.


Mike Adams

2005

------

P-Obsessive Love:


Touch me, tease me, drive me nuts,

fuck me, suck me, drive me wild.

Hump me, feel me, love me hard,

but never let me go.


Touch me, tease me, drive me nuts,

fuck me, suck me, drive me wild.

Hump me, feel me, love me hard,

never leave me, I die now!


Touch me, tease me, drive me nuts,

fuck me, suck me, drive me wild.

Hump me, feel me, love me hard,

never leave me, all will die to

to have you back?


Mike

2005


(for those dumb fools who have obsessive love, and who should have

walked away). Fuck Me Limerick

-------

Of Why I Cry:


Thou I am not sure why, when I see that wall of black stone, cut

into the earth so green, I have to cry, thou I did not march in those

battles long ago, I did survive the time, and wondered how long will it go

on? So in my times today, I sit, and remember, my own days of service and

still I think and wonder why I cry when I see the wall. I had no friend there,

no buddies to remember and reflect on, but I do know I am glad that

those I know, returned from that land far away, either service there or

"visiting", or not having to go. So I sit here and cry, and wonder why, it

affect me so, so in the end, when I meet my end, will anyone remember me

so, to lay a wreate, a flower, a medal or letter. I do hope so, so in the

end, what is a man but memories of things we did, of friends who remember us

or us of them. So in the end, friendship is saying good bye to friends

departed and remembering them and doing them justice for the time we spent

with them. So I say this, Good bye, but not forgotten.


Mike Adams, 1996


(I use the word man as a neutral, not to designate gender)

----------

P-Old Age


Old Man sitting on a stool he is far from old in age but old in view of

those around him, others see him as old but fail to see the wisdom or

the times they shall be old for the young never think I will be old one

day.

And I shall be the one sitting on that bench, old and grey, alone, his

friends dead, long gone, no one to talk to no one to share times with or


explore new things so he ages more from attitude of others than of age

of time and we wonder why the old man on the hill is brutal and

unchanging terrifing and abusive of the young, is it he who left them,

or they who left him out, alone and not wanted.

Or his friends have their lives, and wives, and children and jobs, and

problems but care not for his for he is not married no kids in common no


thoughts in common no wife and hopes long gone who care for the old man

they call he wierd perverse and loser they say they want a lover a

friend, a being of trust of love, and honor but they go for losers

assholes and abusers.

But come to him for talk and then back to their lives.

Lives of abuse, of being used of drama and plays untold but a friend

stands beside them thru it all, but will they see him as more than a

friend, no, for the age is for the young, and the young care not for the


old the old who remind them to much of death, of disease of loss, of

pain and parents, some gone, some hated, some never know. Of failures

of their own making, of lovers and husbands who lie to them, cheat on

them, abuse them mind and fist, and children who treat them like the age


is treated, respect no way, love no way, caring no way how soon for the

home to lock you away like some old rag or memory long wanted gone.

Memories of mistakes the old show you, I told ya so, and of themselves

and of the child now adults misery and things told to them but never

listened to until to late.

Parents long dead, forgotten like yestersdays crap that flushes down a

toilet, gone to some place far away, to mold and mildew and rot like

deaths true end.

So be warned, you will be old one day.


Mike

2003

-------

P-Others (The Song)


The song we all hear before we die, to face our fate, and our deeds done or not done, promises given, some we rose to, and some we denied, some we destroyed, and some that was destroyed..


Mike

2005

----

P-Reborn


Oh a man once said to his son, son pray you have not done what I once done, to stand before the gates of hell and said to the beast with in, come forth you varmite and foul beast and face me, one on one, and come now quick, for I am dead but reborn..


Mike

2005

--------

P-Step by Step


Step, step, step, but I look back

and can not see the steps, and know

where I came from or where I am going,

but yes, the steps are to big, to grand,

and grandious no vision that goes back

into that fog behind, that far to see

how far they are apart, so I step

smaller steps still as I step, and

look I can not see them all, no joy in

the seeing of them for they are still not

there in my minds eye.


So smaller steps and on and on,

and finally I find that just a small

step, more a shuffle is what I need

so I can see of how I bleed or how

I go from place to place, lost, but

now I am found for in the steps small,

I see where I am going, where I have

been and can find joy in knowing that

I have stepped at all. And know, I am

completing things doing things, making

steps to improve my lot in life that I

am not walking in a fog or a bog of sand

holding me fast but in a lane of my own

creation into the future, and the promise

of completion, of happiness in the doing,

and knowing, of organized thoughts and dreams

not lost in the morase of my own mind and

home, but links I can see now, visions

of things I have done and measure in my

minds eye and memory now fast.


Mike Adams

2004

--------

P-Sticks and Stones


Sticks and stones,

bones break,

hairpulled,

love lost,

death of innocence

Love of one, of joy

and life shared turn,

to hell and damnation


Mike Adams

07/12/04


(More Coming?)

---------

P-The Four


These riders, riding hard

across this plane of skulls

their horses frothing

looking dead they ride

from near to far these

riders ride until the end

for in the end they ride

and all fall before them

for they are four riders all,

all of deadly form

one is pestulince

and it is so named and looks,

two is famine and it is

guantly named and visage,

three is war and from it

all brave men fall,

and the last is the worst

of the four though to look

at it you could not tell

for it is short, and boney

like no mortal man

more like a child so small

so weak of look, but

it is the greatest fear of

all who walk the earth for all

must truely fall from death,

for what do the others serve

but to bring one closer to

the fourth.


From far to near they do ride,

the four of the fall,

they ride day and night

across the sky far onto the

end they do ride and all shall

fall before them for in the

end what is our fates?


From far to near they do ride

across lands and sea,

day to day, night to night

they do ride on words onto

the horizen they do ride

these four horsemen of the

end of all.


But there is some glimmer

and saving from these dour

feinds four for us who fear

these four, we have

many names for it,

hope is the best for it,

for the rest are just

words to bring the hope

forwards and into our hearts

and to give us reason to rise

each day and face it anew,

for with out hope what can

we do but to let the four

ride over us and grind us

into the dirt from which

we came and may return one day.


Mike Adams

1998

-----

P-Trust Me


Your gone

you came

and went

and wonder

why I sit here

in a stupor

wanting to

die, and knowing

nothing but fear


Scared to ask

for help for

who to trust.


When own

self is untrust

worthy!


Mike

200?

(2010)


(The fun of trust issues, not only in relationships but many more, still exploring.)

----

P-Umberage


To slumber,

or to bother

or just show

your umbrage

at the distraction

pain, and anger

caused by some

ones abuse

and umbrage.


Mike

Alaska

2010

for Word in a Sentance

-----

P-Walk Together


we shall walk the road together, and hold each other up as we walk hand in hand, arm in arm, stride in stride, keeping each other happy, well and strong.


Mike 2008

(not complete?)

----

P-What is a Man?


What is a man a being of flesh and blood heart and sinew

but also of feelings some hard and painful some soft and

passionate some teasing like twilight some so real it is fearsome


What can be said of a man but of life and death happiness,

and pain joys many, pains untold but in the middle is the answer

to all for to much of one or the other leads to depression or insanity.


Mike

2001

----------

Mike Adams 2000


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