Poetry Book

[Abrigon]

B-Book of Poetry 2025?
I do have more I suspect.

INDEX:
Change It
Challenge Me
Alone
Wanted
They Are Gone
Saw You
Rise to Stand
Ode to Brides Ass
Let it Go
Internal Love
Hate and Fear
Forgiveness
Erotic Lover
Dead by Drunk
==============
Change It 2024

if you do not like it
then change it
if you do not know how
then learn how
if you do not change it
then accept it
or shut up and
Live with it!

Mike
2020?

edited from original?


-------
Challenge Me (2006):

About wanting and needing to be challenged in my life..

Challenge me

Sit me down
know I exist
Give me more
than just platitudes
and sit in the corner
until I am done.

I Live
I love
I know
and see

See me
touch me
hear me
know me

Challenge me
never let me go.

Mike
2006

-----------
Alone 2024

Alone and single
One alone outcast
Ashamed or not wanted
Or just unknown
Unwanted push away
Dropped off and forgotten
Hidden away in dark places
Away from all
Or just seen brain dead
Strong back but what
Is known of the alone
For they are alone
No friends and family
Is in name but alien
Called geak or freak
And family ignores
Or does not wish to
Know or are the ones
Calling you freak
Ashamed that one exists
But termination is late
So the creature lives
Hidden away.
Alone
Singular
Outcast
Or unknown
Alien
Shameful
Geak or freak
Ashamed of
One
Scared
Unsure of self
And others
Running fast
And hard
But to where
For no one
Welcomes him
Or wants him
Unless it dirty
Nasty or mean
Or advantage of
His or her need
To be wanted
Even loved.

Mike
2014
-------------
Wanted

Always wanted
to be wanted
just not most wanted.

(Need to complete or ??)

Mike
2013?

Wanted or push away?
------------
They Are Gone:
 
They are gone
those faces in the dark
and I am happy
but sad in this
for I knew them
for a short time,
they have effected
and affected me
more than their lives,
loves and deeds,
other than our time
together as friends
and some as lovers,
but love not of lust
but friendship.
But now they fade and
I am at peace,
but sad in their final
passing for what
of them and their deaths?
I move on and live but how
much pain has come from their deaths
some self inflected, others by mistep.
Some by some one elses hand and deeds.
But they held me for years for their
effect and lifes, lasting longer
than their lives was, but I measure
much by their passing and the result
of their passing and my knowing them.
 
Now to walk in the daylight, to love
myself once again, forgiven not by them
for they are beyond any thing mortal
and forgiveness is not theirs to give
but for me to forgive myself for
misdeed or just ignorance and knot
knowing how to do more or to know
the danger of their words and acts.
 
But I know the effect, the pain unending
what if I have screams and dwelled on
for many hours long and hard but
nothing comes back but more darkness
and it MUST end for in the dwelling
I have lost myself, dwelling in darkness
hating one self until all I have is
my self loathing and pain. Crying
alwasy never feeling more than the
obsession of the pain of their passing
and what I could have done better.
 
To honor them by living and not dying
to move on and help others know
the happiness of living and not
dying in darkness and wander down
paths foul and insane. Lost in the morase
of depression and dead to all but
the strongest emotions and feelings
forces to hurt one self to just feel
anything, to know anything and to hate
onself continually for what?
Something that some else did and now
long gone but me a victim still
of their passing or almost hateful
leaving of this life. Not trusting
or just not helping me to help them.
 
So now, we shall see, live, be happy
do not solve small problems with
permenant solutions. Think of the
others you leave behind and do you
hate them as much as what you left
them with? So please live, and
its not all bad, okay! We just over
simplify in the black and white,
dark and light, happy and lack of.
 
So if not for self, them for me
friends, loved ones or even those
you hate, for if anything you by
living will show your love for those
who love you, and annoy the hell
out of those who hate you and give
them purpose by hating you!
 
But in this I LIVE!
 
Mike
Alaska
2009

-------------
Saw You:

I saw you there,
and all was lost,
for my heart rose
to the heavens,
and beyond,
but fell back
into dark abandonment
when I realized
you had another
already,
and I could not
be yours and
you  mine.

Mike
2005

2024?
--------
Rise to Stand:

I rise, to stand, a man broken and battered,
battered by the causes of the age, the trials
and tribulations of life, love and desire
for justice unbound, who cares to rise with me?
None, for all are dead around me, or gone to camps
and prisons strong before me, or locked in houses
and jails of their own making..
Prisons of conformity, and wanting to belong,
of thinking they are in power, illusions
of their own power and place..

Mike
2005

--------------
Ode to Brides Ass

YES.. oh to know it, to see it,
and touch it, hold it and feel it,
to know it and lube it. to dance
and know the feel of it and mine
together, in time to the music
sway and way and god I want to cum..

Mike
2005
For brideofbaudelaire
-------------
Let it GO

Let it go is all I can say
as I think of the past
and what was there
to let it go and live
in the now and not
let the past hold me back
and control me
and leave me there.

So let it go and
be a person of the now
and even the future
and not be held back
by chains of pain,
anger, frustration
and family and deeds
undone or never helped.

So if you hear
me say LET IT GO
now you know,
I am letting it go
and not holding me
fast to the past.


To find my happy place
and think happy thoughts
and positive things
and not other things
and I can let the past go.

Mike
2016
---------------
Internal Love 2025
Nov 2024

Love
Me
Myself
and
I
Internal
not
by
means
external

Mike Adams
2024

New poetry collection?

----------------
Hate and Fear:
2024

How much I hate you,
your snotty attitude,
you condesending views and ways,
the looks you give me in the mirror
the depression I feel when you hate me so
what did I do to deserve this pain and
agony who are you to put me down,
to destroy all that I am,
no hope for the future
for the past is agony intense.
And the current lost and dark
caught in amber strong and hardened
by years of neglect of self.
No future, but more death
and depression, lost in my self
and the loss of who I am was
possible to be.
What humor, given many gifts
and visions, but none of the tools
to make them happen or even
possible. Locked in this humorous
web of denial, self doubt and
denial of self, or just fear,
fear of failure, of being
put down by you one more time.
So fuck you, who I see in the mirror
but how to remove you, shotgun blast
or knive strong and sharp? Pills a
plenty I have tried already
but to no avail. I am locked
here with you, and you with me.
Forgive myself for my death, for
it is long in coming, do I hate
all so much to end it now, or
go on? Help is near, but is it
soon enough.

Mike
2004
-------------
Forgiveness 2024

Oh to have it
To forget
and move past
Be forgiven
for sins
Of the past
And find peace
Acceptance
Absolution,
penance done
And finished

Mike Adams
2012

(03/05/2012 for now, more laters)


(combine with parts from note book and outlook notes.)

Which note book will just have to look and see? One I had recently, I think the small flat blue one, do I have it with me tonight?
Nope, damn..
--------------
Erotic Lover:

Like you feel his hands on your ass,
you want to scream, but can't,
for it feels good as his hands massage
and tease your butt, and up your crack,
as  you feel his body next to yours,
moving in time to the train,
as you feel your dress moving up your legs,
zeeeep as his zipped rides down
and you feel your panties go down..
ah yes, feels good his hands
on your warm skin, as he parts your legs
just so, and teases your lips so..

Mike
2004

(I have a non-wide version?)

------------
Dead by Drunk

A Man
A women
a child
A future
but whose?
Theirs
or others?
Who can tell
for gone
they are
dead by drunken
means driving

Mike Adams
2006

But did ya have to die on my shift Eugene? SSG Dalilek AK ARNG. Your eyes dead.

To finally meet your daughter as you had asked/request, but not over your body in the ER.

Also for the mother and kids on the road to Salcha..
Heard the story many times of how and why it happened but ..
seeing 3, I remember crosses and yellow ribbons..
-------------
Mike Adams 2020