Death and Dying others

[Abrigon]

B-Dead 2024

INDEX:
Alive
All Numb
Survivors Guilt
Worms
Alone
Analyzed Insane
Banshee Run
Beat Me
Beat Me 1st
Beat Me More
Beat Me - Total
BiPolar
Button
Corruption
Days of Slaughter
Dead by Drunk
Dead Dreams
Dead Eyes
Dearest Everett
Death and Dying
Depression
Dream Dead
Faith and Fear
Fat Love
Five Percent
Forgive Me
Friendship Dark
Gangsta Xmass
Geek Revenge
Glory
God is Dead
Help Me
Jingle Ball
Katrina
Lantern
Martha
Mask
Morgoti
Morrigen
Morrigen-Erica Diehl
Numb
Of Love and Hate
Old Age
One Night of Love
Ravens Call
Reborn
Rise to Stand
Saddam
Seas Bounty
Self
She is Gone
Shutdown
Steps 12
The Four
The Word
They are Gone
To Be (Rap)
Valkyries
Vampires Kiss
Vampires Kiss (Total?)
We are Borg

==========
P-Alive 2016

Today alive,
tomorrow not.

Alive full of dreams
Hopes and Aspirations

Now dead in hells
fire of  death, war
and desperation.

(More?)
Mike
2011/2014
-------
P-All Numb 2017

No eyes to see
No ears to hear
No skin to feel
All senses numb
All senses dead
No distractions
No pain felt
All tastes dead
All is dead and dull
Left alone
No distractions
Just the empty space
Alone and happy
or just to numb?

Mike Adams
2011
---------
P-Survivors Guilt (2008)

The dead are gone, but what of those left behind?
To bury the dead, to record their passing, but
to keep going, worse to wonder what if and why?  
I had smiled, to show I loved them? To force them
to find help, or even know they needed it, and
how much. Just to let them know you worry, and
wish them to be happy, and find a way out of the
darkness, the corner them selves in, or forced
to be in. And get help, peace and life in the
light not death in the dark. Not only of light
and dark but of mind, spirit and love. Means
peaceful, but not death, for in their passing
is lett questions of why, what if, trust, pain,
guilt and hatred, not just anger at them, and self.
Ignorance is bliss, is far from true, when dealing
with friends self destruction, for in not knowing
brings little bliss.
He or she a friend, not only of genes but of blood and things
shared, a piece of each other, and of all, who knew them.
What hell was they in, to wish for early release from life?
To not demand help? We who l;loved them, did they not trust us,
or think us less human/friends or just lost in their depression
and path dark and lonely.. Or worse, they did trust us and we
failed them. But all they had to do was, but we was not.
Knowing what they was saying and is this we are at loss.
No one I was enough to leave what they left behind,
I know its selfish to die by gun, pills, poison or life destructive.
Please come back, I miss you so much. Life is never full without
you. But I muddle along, plodding to find some purpose to your
leaving. And how to help others not to go how you went. To save
others from guilt, for it should been me who died and not you.
You had more to live for than I, but now I am truly old and you
are long gone but young always in my minds eye.
Mike
2008?
Not complete? I was numb for a while and from 1995/6 to c.2006 was...
2016 edited some.
-------
P-Worms

ah worms,
you crawl in
and out,
eat me slow
and fast,
heat my
carscuss
inside
and out
and
animate me
now to say
things dead..

Mike
2005
--------
P-Alone 2016

Alone and single
One alone outcast
Ashamed or not wanted
Or just unknown
Unwanted push away
Dropped off and forgotten
Hidden away in dark places
Away from all

Or just seen brain dead
Strong back but what
Is known of the alone
For they are alone

No friends and family
Is in name but alien
Called geak or freak
And family ignores
Or does not wish to
Know or are the ones
Calling you freak
Ashamed that one exists
But termination is late
So the creature lives
Hidden away.

Alone
Singular
Outcast
Or unknown
Alien
Shameful
Geak or freak
Ashamed of
One
Scared
Unsure of self
And others
Running fast
And hard
But to where
For no one
Welcomes him
Or wants him
Unless it dirty
Nasty or mean
Or advantage of
His or her need
To be wanted
Even loved.

Mike
2014

----------
P-Analyzed Insane 2016

Beat me, whip me,
tell me wrong, am I nuts?
Insane crazy or just weird
am I mutant or rebel
hero or cripple,
told I am nuts
a mutant crazy
and insane and this
corner I am in,  
analyzed into it
by thoughts
are they right
or wrong, or
just ... here.  

Here in this corner,
back along
walls together,
locked here,
with no way out,
to go, backed
into a corner,
with no door,
door to show me out,
where am I,
how did I get here
to this corner,
to the left is wall,
the right is wall,
to the top ceiling low
and sloping thus,
this point,
and floor is dark,  
cold, like dead space,
cold and soaking up
the warmth of me into it..

Mike
2005

(Need to edit)
-----------
P-Banshee Run

A banshee screams into the night,
Up from my bed I do jump
where, when, who, how
as cloths jump on to my frame
as I say good bye and run into
the night duty call or just
a night. Running, across
ground icy, slippy and
dangerous but I run
like a mad man, for
someone dies tonight
or not, I hope for my
time is spent to get
their quick, safe, with
those who can do their best
to keep all alive.

Good the rig is warm
starts, all ready
connection, where
where and where, to
pick up quick on
on the way. Door open
and I am on my way.
Left, right, forward
on to the breach or just
make it so for others

There he or she is,
clothed like me
barely on running.
Jump inside, what we have
and on, lights flash or not
quiet night, so fast.
But keep it safe
There they are.
And in we go, with
cops help and firemen
too, we enter, what
to find. Scene Secure.
Fire or dangers human
helped to be gone.

Chief complaint,
cause and symptom
observed items
and allergies
drugs and issues

Blood pressure
observed issues
smell and touch
or just a twitch

Collar on, or splints
or bandages, IV in.
On board, but careful
one two three we go.
gurney on and comfy
for the cold can kill
into the ride we do go
run run run other times
splint, tape, four by four
or just morale support

On into the night to
place of healing I do hope
Doctors waiting, nurses to
cops taking statements
one two three to another
bed, and monitors

doctors working
nurses helping
bags pumping,
air in, nose or mouth
blood and fluids
warming up, and alive
not dead, and cold.

Heart pumping
lungs filling
bowels released
catheter in or not
drip drip drip
goes the meds,
saline and plasma.

Stitches if needed.
Alcohol suspected
Family there or not
or none, or next.
Bruises seen, sores
many, smells awful.
Cloths in a corner

Reports to do and
remember, for later
times and legal or
just what we miss
if anything?

Transport, ready
bag sled, and shred
papers, ready and comfy
escort here,
family said good
bye. Off to the port
we go, holding hand
all is well to the plane.
Thank you.

An on to the lands
below, for better care
for stable is okay
but more must happen
or does or just in case.

Sadly some do not
get so far, or hurts
abide and come.
Not all saved, it hurts
but grieve abides
guilt or just how?
Done better or at all?
Why, no trust of us
their friends or just
things happen?

Driving bad or drunk?
Issues of age or time
conditions come
not all live, some short
some long, but
Hearts give out, lungs
deflate, time is here
or just sugar low or high.
abuse, and pain, no will
to live or just ..

Good Bye

Mike Adams
2009

For all who go into the night with the hope that they can save someone.
--------
P-Beat Me 1st

beat me, whip me,
tie me to the bed,
love me, leave me,
hit me, scare me,
leave me for dead..

Love me, leave me
spurn me hurt me
spurn me, tease me
leave me for dead

Mike
2005
(work long in progress, many versus)
(actually 12st and 2nd or 2nd and 3rd0
---------
P-Beat Me

beat me, whip me,
tie me to the bed,
love me, leave me,
hit me, scare me,
leave me for dead..

Mike
2005
(work long in progress, many versus)

added

Love me, leave me
spurn me hurt me
spurn me, tease me
leave me for dead

---------
P-Beat Me More 2020:

beat me,
whip me,
love me,
leave me
for dead,
never
forget me.

beat me,
whip me,
suck me
fuck me,
but love it
all the same..

hold me,
use me,
tease and
please me,
but never
say good bye

for now,
is our time,
our place,  
our moment
in the sun
or just to show
each other the
pleasures of
the spirit and
flesh are as one,
combined and
totally in line,
and harmonized
extreme..

Mike Adams
Dec05
----------
P-Beat Me - Total 2020
 
I:
Beat me, strip me,
whip me, love me,
drive me wild,
but never drive
me broke..
 
Beat me, whip me,
hit me, fry me,
even sadists need love..
 
II:

beat me, whip me,
tie me to the bed,
love me, leave me,
hit me, scare me,
leave me for dead..

Love me, leave me
spurn me hurt me
spurn me, tease me
leave me for dead

III:

beat me,
whip me,
love me,
leave me
for dead,
never
forget me.

beat me,
whip me,
suck me
fuck me,
but love it
all the same..

hold me,
use me,
tease and
please me,
but never
say good bye

for now,
is our time,
our place,  
our moment
in the sun
or just to show
each other the
pleasures of
the spirit and
flesh are as one,
combined and
totally in line,
and harmonized
extreme..

Mike Adams
Dec05/2006

Mike
2005
(work long in progress, many versus)
(actually 1st and 2nd or 2nd and 3rd, Beat me More)

---------
P-BiPolar

Dark to light
But where is Grey?
Up to down
Bipolar and
Of a low but where
is the sides and middle
or lost in clouds of speed
from high to low
top to bottom
light to dark
depresson deep
and deadly
lost in a sea of
conflict
hate and love
positive to negative
but nothing in between
Between cliff and rocks
below and death hard
for none can hang on
to this cliff hanger
always on the edge
between heaven and hell
plesasure and pain
until all is lost and
gone, never happy
and be neutral.

Mike Adams
2007


BiPole, BiPole, so off my meds I go, and wonder why I am in
Mexico the old bipolar I am happy, so off my meds I go, and wonder why
I am now in Mexico?
----------
P-Button:

A button before me,
red and deadly,
to push it I know
will end all, kill all,
and I don't care,
push it now,
end all now,
kill all, die all,
all must die, to end
my torment and life,
I can not of theirs,
for they have made
mine a hell, of words,
deeds, hits, hurts,
pain, laying on ground,
battered and beaten,
or just ignored,
chased down
like an animal,
and no one cares,
parents, teacher,
all else, just stand
there and chear
at my falling down.

Or worse, they jear
and chear, yes,
the jock can beat
all he wants,
to take all he wants,
the girls, the locker,
the grades they
did not earn,
walk down the
middle of the hall,
and hit any
they care to,
for the teachers
are in awe..
So when all asked,
why he pushed
the button red
and deadly and
if you do not know,
then you deserve
to die. Like the rest,
the animals all.
God cares not,
Jesus is dead
before me, and
beyond hope or
help, so why
should I have faith,
all is forsaken,
Satans is my buddy,
but I deny him
and go with words,
or fear, I know not why.

People are strange
when your a stranger,
has means to me,
for I am strange.
Normal, why be normal,
be abnormal, for
it is atleast a place,
but not of peace.

Mike
2005
-(Old memories from School)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
----------
P-Corruption

Corruption
Smell, no
Look. Maybe
Feel, possible
Hard to tell
Things are corrupt

Family
Friends
Buddies
Or just
Money
Who gets things
Favors given
Bribes paid
Or extorted

Self interest
Or pictures
Taken deadly
Or painted

Lazy workers
Things done
Over and over
Never finished
And shoddy

No movement
Special favors
Or interest
Work done
Over and over
But not completed

Contracts given
Over and over
Always low bid
Like they knew.

Mike Adams
2011
----------
P-Days of Slaughter 2019

On the <day> day of slaughter, my lover brought to me:

Five Golden Chest
Four Flayed Orcs
Three Dead Humans
Two Emaciated Dwarves
And a Dead Elf Hanging From a Tree.

Mike Adams
1980s

(Sung to the tune of Days of Christmas)
---------
P-Dead by Drunk

A Man
A women
a child
A future
but whose?
Theirs
or others?
Who can tell
for gone
they are
dead by drunken
means driving

Mike Adams
2006

But did ya have to die on my shift Eugene? SSG Dalilek AK ARNG
----------
P-Dead Dreams

Step by step
another death
not of life, but
dreams, gone
but not forgotten

Mike
2005
---------
P-Dead Eyes
 
Eyes stare back
they are dead
and black, no life
there, but memories
 
Memories of
the time I saw
them last.
 
And what we
was to do
and said
and dreamed.
 
They did it to
themselves, but
what of us
the survivors?
 
Those who live
past the moment
of their death
 
Be it accident
or stupidity
or suicide
 
Those eyes stare
back and I
forget all
and nothing.
 
So I cry
and other
as well for
memories gone
but remembered
 
but not up front
but behind
the mask
we put up
 
hope it will
stay there
but our
makeup runs
and the pain
comes through.
 
Dinner anyone?
 
Mike
2006
 
Wierd how the death of someone, will haunt you for years. For Eugene Dalilak, Everett Dick, Bon Tate, Karen, Karl and others I still find hard to remember, or name, or even remember their names, but one day the pain will back to the game, and we can deal with things.
----------
02-10-93

Dearest Everett:

I ask why, and recieve no reply from him for he is dead and
beyond my questions! So I live on.. Why you who had some much
to live for have decided to end it all with such a permanent solution.

You more perfectly formed, better looking, better with the ladies,
more open, better dancer, better hunter, better worker, better
dressed, and better man than I, would end it so soon..
You in the spring of your life and I in my autumn.

I think of you in some of the things we did together. When I
wench, drink, dance and laugh I will think of you. When I
march, shoot, work and fly I will think of you, when I ride in
a SUSV or go to Stewart River I will think of you..
When I eat native food, muktuk/walrus liver and fish strips
I will think of you. When I talk of suicide with others I will
think of you. When I think of your brother Karl and how he is I
will think of you, for why did you leave us so soon, leave us in
such pain, rip a part of our hearts out like a bear ripping thru flesh..

Why did you leave us behind, to suffer at the loss. Were you so
selfish? I know we talked about things, of life and death, but I had hoped
it was passing, obviously not. I am stronger for knowing you and loosing you,
the hardest part about knowing someone is say good bye! I do not wish to say
good bye, but you have not given me a choice. I know you can't hear me
now, but I have to ask, what others have asked is why!!!
Some might say why do you hate us so, to leave us with out you,
but I don't think it was hate, you just did not think, you let
Nome get to you, the cold long nights, weather, and work get to you.
I know you were trying to quite a bad habit or two..

I know you were far from home, alone in many ways, not quite
sure who you were, of where you were coming from.
Caught between old and new, tradition and the modern.
Of both Yupik and Inupiaq parentage but modern of up bringing.
Part of multiple worlds, but maybe not quite comfortable in
either.
I am sorry I was such a slob when we lived together, I'm sorry
for making jokes about your last name, but now that you are gone
"I am dick less".

I know to not think of the "what ifs" but of the actual, the
now, and the future. The future without you is just a bit more
barren, a bit more lost with out you, so I march on without you,
you have fallen behind, but I will keep marching on to prove to
you and myself that I will not give up, I will not let things get
me down, and that I will not do what you have done, for I do not
wish to hurt anyone, as much as you have done to us, your family and
friends.

I say in passing, to all who think that life is not worth it,
that there is no hope, that death is an answer. I say no bloody
way, with life is hope, suicide is not the answer. It is a
permanent solution to a temporary problem.. If you need help there
are many who can and will help, don't be to proud to ask for help.
For in pride there is folly. If first you do not find help, try again!!

I say good bye now Everett P. Dick, rest in peace for I shall
not..

EVERETT P. DICK'S FRIENDS FOREVER...

----------
P-Death and Dying

Dying yes, dead not yet
for with out life,
then you have death
or without hope
there is death
giving up before the
mark of death arrives
to soon to give up
to be given to the pile
or corpsed pying high
before hells door
given up to the disease
called dying, or cancer
or some other malody
that saps our strengths
and pulls us down
down to the ground and in
or to pyres high.
glory, is just an excuse
for dying better than
others dead.

Mike
2005
----------
P-Depression:

Depression what is it,
why does it hold me back
like a vice or chains strong.
What can I do to remove
it from my life and go on
to bigger and better
to follow my dreams most
high on into the sky,
but I sit here chained
to earth, like some stone
held fast by miles of earth
never to see the sky
and sun, but from glimpshes
short, only enough to know
I am down deep in my
depression, and not happy
with where I am, but
with no way known to
relived me of this burden.
What cruel fate to be given
a vision, but as well let it
be held in such a grip
as mine.

Oh to the sun I wish to
climb, up into the sky
like a bird on wing
but this feeling of
earth keeps me fast
I struggle and strain
but I still remain
tied to earths cold
grasp, depression
is its name, but more
than that is all I know
is its effects on me and
my path, crooked and
often dead of end is
this path, for when
my energy is only
enough to fight
the depression there is
little left for others things
than it. But there is
some light at the end
of this tunnel deep and
dark, what it is I shall see
for this thing is killing me
slowly, inch by inch, miles
by mile this depression
is slowly killing what
of me there is that wishs
to go on to better things.
Pray tell the light finds me
before the darkness
totally engulfs me in its
cold dark grasp, rends
my soul from my body
and casts me to the pile
of its latest victim with
out a care of who I was
and what I could have
become, just that I am
dinner for it and my
life was a good fight
but in the end I was
his and now my broken
soul lies here on this
pile of broken dreams
of mine and others.
I crave the light and
the promises made
of my abilities, but
still held fast in chains
most strong and deadly
to this path I do plod
along, looking for that
exit that will either save
me or end my life and
cast myself on to that
pile so high of broken
dreams and lost souls.

Mike Adams
1998
-----------
P-Dream Dead 2010
 
A man, a women
A dream, a child
born of both
shared together.
 
A dream or just
fantasy illusion.
 
Mike
2009
----------
P-Faith and Fear:

Little rabbit run run run,
but to where for I am lost
kissed for memory short,
or no faith in self,
or just no one knows me
wants to know me,
or cares not to care,
and have faith in me.

Selfish, yes, but needing
help and guidance, a
direction and acceptance
to know where I am going
or can do, need do or just
that I did it and now
am loved and appreciated.

So family, and friends
peer and coworker.
Am I doing well, good,
with in limits and standard
or just lost again
with no direction
front or side or back,
lost in memory shorted out.

Why take chances, when
you know it will end the same
in a dead end, or not completed
or worse, no one respects
my needs and they demand
me to do their bidding
while my needs fall away.

Or just what was I doing,
I know I was doing something
but now, a month gone by
and I remember, but now to
late, and I fall into despair
or just hand cuffs, addiction
and homeless, and lost.

Nothing done, or completed
so why try, and no one knows
or cares, to help when
I need it, badly, so why try
and face depression and
deaths calling for self
destruction, so why even try.

When it will end up all the
same, dead and dismembered.
Or just not completed.

Mike Adams
2010
----------
P-Fat Love
(edited 2018)

We got pains
we deal with it,  
how you ask?
Drink and drugs,
fast cars and bikes,
and women slutty.

With attitudes
and fortitude,
guns and platitudes,
looks in our eyes,
and fights in bars.

Who gives a fuck,
we do, but can't say it.
Pains we have, and needs,
and not ones to be shared
with a bone girl
shallow in her cosmos
inspired looks
and desires
but a women strong and big,
fat or just big of bone,
we care not,
for she is real,
not some goddess
of paint and silicon,
diets unnatural,
locked in some
abusive cycle of
her own making
and death inspired looks.

We need a big
fat biker bitch to come
in here and give us love..
and reality..
Big women, special and unique,
not some artificial women of Esquire fame.
She is not some tall goddess untouchable,
cold to the touch, lost in her drug induced
quest for thin, and deaths door of skeltal frame.

She no clone, like so many models of fame,
who look alike, think alike and do things alike,
like marching nazis in parade,
off to their doom of drugs bingers,
vomit and purges, until all is left
is some mindless zombie looking good or skeletal,
but far from real, for her soul is gone
to some pile of magazines high,
but she is dead, lost to the flashes of the
lights of Hollywood or new York.
Me had hotties with souls most foul
and uglies with hearts of gold,
and beautiful beyond comprehension,
for they are real, nice, soft
and delightful of mind, body, taste
and touch, love given and returned,
nice and gentle, with no demands other
than a cuddle, a touch an kind word and more.

Known hotties with souls of demons,
and big ladies with hearts of angels.

Mike
200?
far from complete?
----------
P-Five Percent:

A room, cave, dark and dreary.
a chair rises up but not to the sky,
but to cloths, or to a human,
figure in dirty clothes, alive
or dead? hard to tell, all you
can see  is the cloths, figure there
now  and later, lost in dreams or
darkness  boozed up and lost
in a world long dead and lost.
Abandoned by all but others
of like nature and a bartender
thirsting for their money but
not for their lives.
A heap of what is flesh and bone.
Of rags and cloths unwashed.
A smell of urine and booze,
and body unwashed for weeks.
A being crumpled on stool,
often for hours unending
until closing and thrown out
to fend for self in a cold
dark world, hoping to find
warmth and comfort, but
not likely, for all are done
with them, for they are
chronic in their nature,
unwilling or unable to change
hopeless drunks or players
of games of chance.
Pull tabs fall below them on
the floor in a heap, as
the money they get, or
have falls into a bars till.
A drink done many times
in front, and will there
be money for another
and another, to might as
well have a straw into a
bottle with no bottom.
For all hope is gone,
brain is dead, liver wants
relief and smells of it.
Stench smelled from feet away
Face cragged and suffering from
decades of neglect. Eyes dead
to the world, mouth
drooling booze, and puke
Chronic or just plain terminal
Once alive, but now just waiting to die.
Slow and painful, all cast away
for family is done with them
for they are selfish,
or just lost. Lost to a world
uncaring or caring but unable to
help, for its hard to lead them
away from the water of death
they crave, and death style.
In places named for holy,
speed and northern, they rot
slowly and end up homeless
and forgotten and dead.
Dead slow, or suicidal,
all is the same, for its
self destruction all the same.
Nights of sleeping with
persons just for booze.
A place to stay, a life of
degradation and prostitution
and abuse, molested and used.
So in this, I say, who cares
for the five percent?
Detox, and shelter?
Police and ambulance?
Family who throws them out?

Mike Adams
2010

sorry been working on a poem, about a person or what is left of a person, after years of living in a local bar.. homeless, lost, and forgotten, nearly dead..well, sadly many go there and stay there..
the hidden 5% or maybe the 5% many see but not see past to the 95% who are sober and clean and happy?
-----------
P-Forgive Me

I scream to quiet stones
But no reply for they are gone
and long dead. Beyond my pain
anger and longing for their
forgivness. But still I scream
for the pain holds me fast.
No room for anything else.
No room for love, or joy.

Only the consuming cancer
that dwells in me, given
for failures in ancient
time, and now long gone
but still it lingers and
holds me back, with ropes
strong and tight, strangling
all that I was, locked in
pain unending, and no one to
beg forgiveness for
errors and ignorance
far from bliss.

Mike
2009
-----------
P-Friendship Dark 2016

Your a friend
So hit me hard
Beat me and
treat me bad
hate me and
love me not.

I want love
you give me hate
I want affection
you stab me hard
hurt me in ways
most sick
So I sit here
alone and dead
and wonder
why this gun
in my hand
and I just have
to think of you
and know why.

Mike
2005
----------
P-Gangsta X-Mass

Twas the days after Christmas
and all thru the mall not a creature
was sturing for all was dead,
one over there, another there,
one side or another, all sharing
deaths final end, a body, and blood,
babies and kids, parents covering
children, and cops face down and gone,
all was gone, for in the days of Christmas,
no one was safe, and all was dead..

Gang green, and gang blue, who cared
who was who, for in their violence
all was lost, peace is shared but not
love, but peace of death, and bloods shared
not in love, but in death, bullets carried
thru bodies by forces strong and angry
but for what, who can say, a word
a whisper, a thought or just bored.

Mike Adams
January 2006

Dedicated to a bar in Belfast,
where you got to watch what jokes
and side your on, and to a bar
in North Little Rock Arkansas
that we got served but I was
the whitest of the soldiers
and we felt we might not get
a second drink. Most of us
in the group was Alaskan Natives
(Aleut/Eskimo/Indian) and having
to deal with Klan Kountry was different.


---------------
P-Geeks Revenge

Beaten Battered
Walked on, spat on
boot prints covered
Ignored or chased
put down, let down
forgotten in the hall.
 
But now Bitch
I have the power
yes oh mighty jock
as you scream there
with piss running
down your legs,
and bawling like
a cow at slaughter
 
I have the gun
I have the bomb
teacher dead
on the floor like
so much shit it was
I asked a question
and was made fun of
not cause I was stupid
but cause I was not
its favorite.
 
So who you call mother
why me, cause I have
the power, but why?
 
Cause I have more
force than you?
I can reach out
touch you hard
harder than you ever
did me, you and the team
as you chased me down
like a deer in flight, and
teachers standing by
like cheering sections
and snotty bitches all
lined up, cheering you on
as you made my life hell
 
But do not worry,
its all a joke, the gun
you moron is a water one
the bombs, grin, you
ignorant whore is just
tubs of plastic made
of props from the
theatre department
but the images are
priceless of you begging
for your life, offering
me your body and all
the delights you have
shared with the teachers
teams and others..
And I am getting an A in
the Drama class, cause
well teachers in on it.
 
I do not want them,
why cause I saw
the report oh, whose
the father? And how
much penicillin
you going to need?
 
Oh, yes, the school
heard everything.
Same for you
Super Jock,
so now you can dread
Like I, and run
from class to class,
always in fear,
dreading life and wanting
to die and end it all
but never done
Or hunted like an animal
by those who you once
called friends, but
stabbed their backs
when gone.
 
Mike
200?
 
This is for all the geeks, nerds, special kids, and others who just for what ever never quite fit in, was left alone, ignored by the teachers, parents, faculty, and abused by the jocks and social junkies of the world, who in the name of their drama, made others lives a living hell..
 
For the victims of Columbine.. I wish it had never happened, but understand some on why it happened.
 
Hum, ok, here is a poems of sorts that is close to home or in ways glad it did not become.
 
The fun of being a geek and finding ways to deal with people and how they can be. or not be.
 ------------
P-Glory

What is glory
a memory or
thoughts
or someone else
remembered
but you do not
for what is left
after glory is done?
Is a body dead
one who did all,
just for friends
or unknowns
but not for glory
but out of love
and duty, not
cause it was
asked for
but it was just
it seemed needed
done.

Mike
2007




------------
P-God is Dead
 
Hero, or villian
Saint or demon
God or Devil

Mike Adams
2009
not finished
 
(got some ideas but ... Just seen Watchman so ..)
-------------
P-Help Me:

Help me I screamed,
but no one replied.
I ran to mommy,
and busy was she.  
Daddy, gone as gone in
things of speed and flesh.

Family ran away from me
in my pain and agony
chased by demons of flesh
and spirit, beaten
and battered and
given up for dead
teachers, cared not,
not my problem
was the reply

Friends ran
and knew me not,
not that had any
God said,
come here little boy,
we will make a man
of you and molest you like
buddies I once knew.

Mike
2005
------------
P-Jingle Balls:

Jingle Balls, I'm in Hell,
One man killing machine,
Dads dead, mommys gone
and all from my M16.

Mike
2005

(sorry its just not me!)
--------
P-Katrina:

A name
a storm
a place
and time.

Example of
nature
or absurdity.
of mans institutions

Plans made,
ignored. Tragedy
dead and dispossed
lost homes and dreams
or plans made but
easier to destroy
than to move.

Mike Adams
2012?

(had one for this but since forgot it)
(I did write one but not on paper and now lost, so will see about recreate?)
Katrrina a storm, or a woman, or scandal deel and shaerp..
------------
P-LANTERN:
 
A Lantern burning bright
take the anger from my sight,
remove this man who beats me so
and make him pay for all to know
That I am dead and all shall know
that he took me and destroyed me
slowly with word and threats
of hands and fist and just control
with money, and emotions
foul and coniving
 
A lantern was held up in loving hands
of family and friends but how to go to it
or even leave the darkness behind,
to stay and be controlled and beaten
but its all I know? He loves me, just
does not know how to show it,
or some crap like that or is it just
a little girl, in the dark, alone
and no help to guide her

There must be a more safe place
to be, to find another better for you
someone to not hit you abuse you,
and use you to not be controlled
and beaten even if beaten in mind and soul.

Held down and kept down
controlled by words and thoughts
and arms strong or just kept
like an animal not loved but used
abuse most foul.
A spirit dead from years of mental anguish
or just not loved or not pretty enough
or of drugs, and alcohol
some inside and some outside
Lack of respect for self,
lack of joy in ones blessing
to leave the darkness
and take a small step
but that step is agony
for will he find me,
hurt me, beat me,
abuse me tease me,
let me go and find
me and bring me back
like some animal or worse,
to find he has found another?
I go back to him
for he is all I know,
all I have known,
and I fear all I will know.
But there is more,
or is this just a dream,
a dream that is fading
by the hours and days..
I am trapped but held here
not by force, but by my own fear?
Or just insecure of my blessing
and beauty and knowing
I am worth more than this crap.
I am not a trouphy, my children
are not to be harmed but they are
hurt by mommys beatings.
Why do I go back but how to leave,
no money no place to go,
he will hunt me down
and bring me back with friends
that will help him and I have none?
Where shall I go, who will I be with
where will my children go and be safe
God he has a knife and
I have to run but to where?
 
To the lantern held high and bright
by loving and knowing hands
who take you in and hold
the darkness at bay,
and help you heal wounds
deep and numbing
but always there.
 
Mike
2006
Still working on it. Wrote it for a gal I once talked to online.
----------
P-Martha
 
Dear Martha, Humpy Mumpy
Why you have to die
Irony is all I can say.
 
Tragedy and anger
brother dead
guilt or just
grief over whelming
anger and pain
 
To lovely to be normal.
Used by others to be
accepted or mule.
Drugs, alcohol
travel and abortions
but in the end the
irony is, to die.
But by boy friend
after giving birth
Finally of a child
after giving up
so many they say.
 
So is the Irony
and tragedy of
your life. Anger
shown when drunk
but now sober,
but to little
to late or just
expressed by
 
Not much to say
mental or just
hurting unending
but brought out
when drunk
 
What can be said
Just good bye
little one
Mu Humpy Mumpy
Loved you
not for your
looks but for
your friendship
I am sorry I was
not a better friend
for in the end
we failed you
us all, by not
being better.
 
Sorry.
 
Mike
2009
----------
P-Mask

A man
or women
A look
eyes dark
dead creepy
but hiding
but what
pain anger
love lost
trust abused
a little child
lost and abandoned
forced to be dark
to hate all
to force all away
by eyes dark
and dead.

Mike
2006
About the masks we wear to hide the little kids and pain behind them..
Angel Behind Dark Eyes

-----------
P-Morgoti:

A horse alive but dead
a rider riding slumped over,
over a plain of skulls
and dead strewn around,
or semblance of life is all you see..

The rider comes closer
and you see the horse
is not living but not dead,
but someplace in between
or parody of life
it stands there with rider,
sitting rider with eyes dead
and lost, lost to the now,
and the past, or even future
for each is just living.

Living a life that is not living,
he knows the pain of loss, not only life
but of faith, alone he stands, but not alone,
for he is crawliny with life but not life,
small and nimble they are, they keep him
alive even when he no longer wishes to live.

Dead many times, some he remembers
some he forgets
for the remembering is pain, to forget,
the only cure, or solution,
as much as he feels anything
any more for his humanity
was gone long ago, how long
no one knows for he has lost
the wish to keep time,
just that this is the now
and he wishes to be dead to it,
but can not die, for they
keep him alive if you can call
being more machine than man,
living. Not obvious, but
they are there.

You look in his eyes,
and all is dead,
but replaced by nothing
for what is a man with out hopes,
dreams and desires, emotions
and the will to live?

You look around and all that
seems normal is not, you realize
with a start the trees,
bushes and animals all are dead,
or some pale semblance of life,
for all are imperfect copies
made for the rider but he no longer cares,
it is just there,
they just exist
and he cares not.

No one else is here for all
died ages ago, in some thing
the man knows of but not telling
but knowing is madness as it is
for he was the one who brought it about,
in his pride, ignorance or just
plain stupidity he let it go
and all died from it, for all
was consumed by it what it is is,
all you need to see around to know
but you can not see for you
are not really here? or he is killing you
eating your soul draining your life
but he knows not is not conscious of it,
for he no longer wants to know,
blocked from his mind and memories
is your passing, only that he keeps
going not that he wants to keep
going but he plods one foot in front
of the other, or on the horse being
he rides to the next victim,
for he has died many times
to be taken back to living
for they will not let his body die
even if his soul died an age ago.

His body lives on and forces
his mind along for the pain
and agony, and ride eternal.

Mike
2005
(2014)
------------
P-Morrigen 2016:

Morrigen, avenge me, she scream, with last breath, save me from
this demon made flesh. a mortal man, whose hate for me is most
foul?

What did I do to deserve this I ask of him with no reply, for he
has none..  Save me and mine from the torment he brings to us,
the lost child, the lost love, the dead who scream in agony.

The living lost in death, for not knowing, are they dead, in
torment, or what?

Morrigen a women tall and dark, hair and visage, like a raven
intent on pray, she stalks her prey, those far from innocent
stalks, not a innocent one, but pray most foul.

Morrigen like a goddess, a women dark of hair and visage. like a
raven tall and strong, with eyes that pierce the darkness..

To bring the unknown guilty to the light of truth, with mind and spirit.
Knowledge and cunning, wisdom and persistance, to give
the victims peace, their families hope, and those affected a
sense of closure.

Morrigen we cry to drive the demons away, not ones of spirit
and nature biblical, but ones most foul and mortal.. Mortal ones,
who prey and hide, who slither in the darkness,  who rise up
and slaughter, hurt and maim, driving those who protect to
madness.. Madness of frustration of egos crossed and battered
minds, so to Morgan we fly to find the guy, or who she is, what
they know and feel, to profile them and draw the shades from the
abyss of ignorance, and bring them to the light, of truth, and
justice, most swift.

To burn them in holy light. by hells fire and drive them from
our mind and fears, to draw away the anger, and pain and agony
of their victims, give them peace of knowing they can walk the
streets and by ways, to love again, to touch again, to feel
again, and breath deeply and feel not danger at every step.

Mike
2005

For a buddy.

Find who he or she is, and bring them to justice, please..
Morrigen was three women, ravens.. Chooser of the slain, the worthy..
it is okay my dear warrior one of the three, chooser of the slain and warrior of blood. of the Morrrigan..
----------
P-Morrigen-Erica Diehl

Morrigen, avenge me!
She screams,
Last breath leaves,
Save me from this demon made flesh.
A mortal man,
Whose hatred for me is most foul.

What did I do to deserve this?
I ask of him without reply,
He has none…  
Save me and mine,
From the onslaught of torment…

The lost child,
The lost love,
The dead, who scream in agony.

The living,
Lost in death,
Not knowing,
They’re already dead,
Suffering in silence,

Morrigen,
A goddess,
Tall and dark,
Hair and visage,
Like a raven…
Intent on her prey,
She stalks,
The wicked,
The licentious,
Flushing out every last vestige,
 

Morrigen,
A goddess,
Of dark hair and visage.
Like a raven,
Tall and strong,
With eyes,
That pierce the soul…
Seeing all the lies they hold,

Morrigen!
Exposing all evil,
To the light of truth,
Using mind and spirit.
Knowledge and cunning,
Wisdom and persistence,
Giving victims peace,
As they are laid to rest,
Their families hope,
And bring all afflicted,
A sense of understanding,
And peace in their troubled times,

Morrigen, we cry!
Drive the demons away,
Oh avenger of the slain,
And victimized…
Don’t let in your prey,
Evil that slithers in the dark,
Be warned away!
Morrigen shall come,
Swiftly upon wings,
Of justice and vengeance,
You have no chance,
So be gone!
Go from this place,
To never return,
She knows what you feel,
She can see straight through,
The thin veil,
Of your sugar-coated charm,
And if you do not go,
She will make you.
 
Morrigen!
Burn their souls,
With holy light,
Bring them to their knees,
Drive them from here,
Let them feel,
The breath of Hell’s fire,
Searing their souls,
From the inside out,
Drive them away,
As we dry our tears,
For the slain,
And victimized,
Give us peace,
That we may sleep,
Unknowing of danger,
Or fear,
Protect us always,
Morrigen,
Our avenging angel,
Bring in the light,
And peace,
To hold us in their embrace.
------------
P-Numb:

Feel what
nothing
for all is
dead, all
is gone
no feelings
nothing there
just numb.

Mike Adams
2006

Dedicated to a Coast Guard Diver.
Or a strange meeting at a Air Force Mental Ward.
His job was to recover what was left after some
one jumping off the Golden Gate bridge.
 
-----------
P-Of Love and Hate

Love and hate
shall we debate
how, why, when and
for what reasons.
or like war and peace
it happens, or can it be
less done in haste and
ignorance, but more done
in friendship long last lasting
developed slowly, so that
the love is strong and
no hate ensues, but love
like peace, it lasts
never to be intruded on
by war and all that it can
lead to and end with
but hatred long and lasting?
Unless all are gone
and the peace of death
leaves all gone and no
love or even hate, for how
to hate when your
dead and gone?

Mike
2016

(done for a local poetry group).

Looking for ... in Boise Idaho?
-----------
P-Old Age

Old Man sitting on a stool
he is far from old in age but
old in view of those around
him, others see him as old
but fail to see the wisdom
or the times they shall be old
for the young never think
I will be old one day.
And I shall be the one
sitting on that bench,
old and grey, alone,
his friends dead, long
gone, no one to talk to
no one to share times with
or explore new things
so he ages more from
attitude of others
than of age of time
and we wonder why
the old man on the hill
is brutal and unchanging
terrifing and abusive
of the young, is it he
who left them, or they
who left him out, alone
and not wanted.
Or his friends have their
lives, and wives, and children
and jobs, and problems
but care not for his
for he is not married
no kids in common
no thoughts in common
no wife and hopes long gone
who care for the old man
they call he wierd
perverse and loser
they say they want a lover
a friend, a being of trust
of love, and honor
but they go for losers
assholes and abusers.
But come to him for talk
and then back to their lives.
Lives of abuse, of being used
of drama and plays untold
but a friend stands beside
them thru it all, but will
they see him as more than
a friend, no, for the age is
for the young, and the young
care not for the old
the old who remind them
to much of death, of disease
of loss, of pain and parents,
some gone, some hated, some
never know. Of failures
of their own making,
of lovers and husbands
who lie to them, cheat on
them, abuse them mind and
fist, and children who
treat them like the age is
treated, respect no way,
love no way, caring no way
how soon for the home
to lock you away like some
old rag or memory long
wanted gone. Memories
of mistakes the old
show you, I told ya so,
and of themselves and
of the child now adults
misery and things told
to them but never listened
to until to late. Parents
long dead, forgotten
like yestersdays crap
that flushes down a
toilet, gone to some
place far away, to mold
and mildew and rot
like deaths true end.
So be warned, you will be
old one day.

Mike
2003
-----------
P-One Night of Love:

Dear, one night was all we had.
A night of bliss, of touch
cuddles, fondles, and souls
coming together as one.

But the in our passion
was tragedy for fate tore
us apart, leaving
wounds un-healing.

Love, lust, desire and
bonding is still here,
nagging at me pushing me
to share once more in ways
no persons can stand.
But we must stay apart.

But in this is the tragedy
you are there and I am here
we know why we can not share
more and it hurts, scars my
soul, and dooms me to knowing
you are there, I am here
always as one, joined as one
Never able to be one again.

My bed it full but it is
not you, I wish it was
but you know why.

Does not mean I can not
fantasize, wish, want,
and desire, but in this
is the tragedy for it
dims all around me
makes all dull and grey.

Going through the motions
of living and caring.
A walking dead person
bleeding slowly through
small wounds but deadly.

Sapping the life from me
My soul dead and dark
knowing it can be full
and alive once again
but no hope is the
answer and remedy.

Night my love of a
night and forever.

Mike
2008

Written for someone who wanted a poem:
-------------
P-Ravens Call:

A raven flys, crowing over the battle field, looking for it's feast,
a feast not of blood and sinew, flesh and bone, but of souls.
Searching for his masters table, to share in his masters
bounty to Valhalla this raven flys across thee battle field
strewn with his master handy work, for who is Odin, the master
of battles, lord of the carrion, the trickster, and deciever,
but also the lord of the hosts of Valhalla, for one day these
honored dead will arise to serve their master once again in the
time of Ragnarok, some day in the future, but for these men, who
fought each other unto deaths door, they will be there once again,
this time arm in arm, shield to shield, shoulder to shoulder
fighting for their master, who table they do share, of fighting,
wenching and drinking there is much, for they know their fate,
for in the end, they will die once again, against a foe, a tricky
foe and his friend from below. The serpent, the wolf, the giants many
will be there to cross the bridge of light, to Heimdalls call
the men will come to the final field to share in final glory.
A final fate againt all the evils of the world, and their deaths
will not be in vain, even this second time, for in the end,
the world will be anew and reborn.

Mike Adams
14 May 1998
------------
P-Reborn:

Oh a man
once said
to his son,
son pray
you have
not done
what I
once done,
to stand before
the gates of hell
and said
to the beast with in,
come forth
you varmit
and foul beast
and face me,
one on one,
and come
now quick,
for I am dead
but reborn..

Mike
2005
----------
P-Rise to Stand

I rise, to stand,
a man broken and battered,
battered by the causes
of the age, the trials
and tribulations of life,
love and desire for justice
unbound, who cares
to rise with me?
None, for all are dead
around me, or
gone to camps
and  prisons strong
before me, or locked
in houses and jails
of their own making..

Prisons of conformity,
and wanting to belong,
of thinking they are in power,
illusions of their
own power and place..

Mike
2005
------------
P-Saddam

A man or monster,
a country in the sand
crazy, or crafty
deadly, or insane
patriot to his cause
or demigoge to ours
death destruction
or end to all?
Who can say
disease or atomic
or chemicals deadly
life or death
pain and agony
freedom for all
or death for many
Should we replace him
or let him die alone?
Do we claim the right
to change him by force

Is he albertross
from years untold
of support for him
and now bites us hard.
Do we protect his people
or force him to do?
But do we have the right
to force him in change
or his people do?
Did we pay a price
or are now deep in debt
oil, or freedom?

Mike
Feb 2003
-----------
P-Seas Bounty 2016

work in progress, not the first time I tried to do..

P-Seas Bounty:

Only those who down to the sea in ships,
to make a living from the bounty of of the ocean
know the cost and price paid for said bounty
and toll she demands from said harvest and times..
That thou she is peaceful now, as daddy
or now mommy leave, brother or sister or family
and friends leave, that she may turn hard,
cold and rough and those sent out may not return
ever again and join the oceans depths and reside
in her cold deep bosum and not be seen again until
some day the dead shall arise from the depths and
the ocean gives up her dead.  

Be they fishing, daily or weeks at a time.
Crabbing or oil rig and more, the ocean is there
and demands a sacrifice, be it days to weeks
away from family and friends, cold and wet or
meaner tolls and cost. Wages good and much
can be gotten in a short time, but long
hours, with little sleep takes its toil
on minds, bodies and souls and mistakes happen.

A survival suit will last for only so long.

Mike Adams
2012

Did not know George or the crew of the Edmond Fitzgerald, but know the life of fishing and fishing towns.


(been wor
---------
P-Self:

Drugs, Alcohol
Or just drama
Unleashed. Pain,
Anger, fear, or
just lonely.
With nothing to
fill the void of
soul. But drink,
drugs, and self
destruction.

Hatred of self
or just fear of
showing more of
self, due to past
jeering, disrespect
or being to open
and used by it.
By the group, or
those in power,
along against the
the crowd and
riots of pain
brought on by
groups social,
not welcome, and
not wanted, all
cause your mutant,
geek, freak, or
just not pretty.

What did you do wrong
is asked, but only
answer is being born
out of time with what
is popular, or hot.
Condemned from birth
to second class status
all cause of gender,
mixed race, or parents
unknown or just not
caring, or from the
wrong side of the
tracks or just body
build, or mind paths.

How brutal but how it
comes to be for how
many? All out of shape.
Not fitting that mold
of what? Some hidden,
or open standard.
Enforced and deadly
in disrespect. All
programmed in by who?
For what reasons to
be special or snotty
for some blessed and
others called cursed
by fate, or just no
one stands up to say
Bullshit, and enough!

To stand before the
houses of peer and
media. To pressure
immense and many fall
into chasms, deadly
and purge themselves
to fit in, or to not
die alone! Destroyed
and ravaged. Left
alone to deal with
issues of self hate
fear and loathing
institutionalized!

Mike
2008

(still working on it?)
-------
P-She is Gone

Man, lays down
head in hand
life is gone
she is dead

Mike
2005

----------
P-Shutdown

Shut down
Overdrawn
To Much
Forgiven
Unforgiven
Nothing left
all is dead
emotions
mind
heart
soul
all is numb
shut down

Mike
2006
----------
P-Steps 12

Out of control
why am I here,
jail? hospital
or drinking what ever
next to me, what did I do,
why the hand cuffs,
have I hit bottom, or just
sliding fast and no control.

God or who or what
I need help, or I know
where I am going
for I have seen it
in friends, family
or just lost souls
dead to the world
zombies shuffling
around with only
thought, next drink,
or hit or what ever.

I once was clean, sober,
had promise but ...
No one wants me, they
kick me out, call the cops
will not let me in a bar
I used to spend bank
in, all cause now I am a bum,
drunk, addict.

Why does my love hate me
my kids fear me
my work has fired me
or friends all deserted me
or worse just as bad as I
and we all don't care.

please I need help,
can you help me man? Women
or what are you, all is I know
you or what are here and showing
me a way, to a better way.

I need you buddy, or friend
or just one who had done
as I have done, and is now
happier and knows a way
to peace, happiness and
no more selfish ways and
self destruction.

For I know if it does
not change, I will be one
of the bodies that lay around
me, cloud my thoughts and
give night mares of uncertain
causes but all is dark
or better yet numb..

So how can I look
in peoples eyes and
have some pride or just
know they don't hate me
or do not respect me
or respect me for the
violence I have shown
or know I can do but
wish not to..

No more pain, anger,
but I wish peace, joy
to walk with happy people
and see my kid, or family
and know they can trust me,
I will not use or abuse them
for money, or things
I can sell for the drug
or I can look myself in
the mirror, and see past
the face now destroyed
by years of abuse and
see intelligence once again
where once was numb or beastial
eyes. Cooking is not chemistry.

So off to work, making some
money, but save it,
eat something
have some health back.
Make peace with self,
others and the world, and learn
how to deal with things, to
not crash, fall down, numb self
up on booze, drugs or think life
is a constant party or no one
knows, people know and see you
in the gutter and fear you, or
not want you around for the smell
or worse that you present.
Invading their perfect world
and not seeing who you once was
but now are just a drunk, an addict
lost and homeless or serving life.

Creed, color, faith all the same
just an addict, with no god but a
bottle or pipe, pills or needle.
All the same. Next hit, or lover,
or what am I doing this for?
sores, puss, bruises, teeth gone,
smell all can smell from feet away
as you do acts you once thought
disgusting cause it was means, nasty,
sinful. or just will get you pregnant
or be called whore and not just female
but males.

Why is mommy or daddy passed out
in the hall way, Whose that man with daddy,
what daddy or mommy doing for money,
and on that corner with marks up his
or her arm, for what, where are they at,
why am I with you, whats a social worker?
Whose in Jail, why they not visiting me.
Are you my daddy? Mommy? Why did my
parents sell me to you?

Make peace with all, be happy,
know how to be happy, clean,
sober and then if you can
to help others at their measure
and pace and means to if they
wish to be happier, to be so.
Slow down, its not a race to die
or see who can die first, or
how long until you liver gives out
your body slowly shrivels up and
die by suicide, even if slowly
for what is substance abuse
but slow death, self inflicted?

Here, can I help you out,
please forgive me, if possible
trust me once again, as I learn
to trust myself, maybe even love
me, as I learn to love myself
again. Can I have my kids back!

PLEASE!

Mike
2011

-----------
P-The Four

These riders, riding hard
across this plane of skulls
their horses frothing
looking dead they ride
from near to far these
riders ride until the end
for in the end they ride
and all fall before them
for they are four riders all,
all of deadly form
one is pestulince
and it is so named and looks,
two is famine and it is
guantly named and visage,
three is war and from it
all brave men fall,
and the last is the worst
of the four though to look
at it you could not tell
for it is short, and boney
like no mortal man
more like a child so small
so weak of look, but
it is the greatest fear of
all who walk the earth for all
must truely fall from death,
for what do the others serve
but to bring one closer to
the fourth.

From far to near they do ride,
the four of the fall,
they ride day and night
across the sky far onto the
end they do ride and all shall
fall before them for in the
end what is our fates?

From far to near they do ride
across lands and sea,
day to day, night to night
they do ride on words onto
the horizen they do ride
these four horsemen of the
end of all.

But there is some glimmer
and saving from these dour
feinds four for us who fear
these four, we have
many names for it,
hope is the best for it,
for the rest are just
words to bring the hope
forwards and into our hearts
and to give us reason to rise
each day and face it anew,
for with out hope what can
we do but to let the four
ride over us and grind us
into the dirt from which
we came and may return
one day.

Mike Adams
1998
-----------
P-The Word:

What can be said of the word
when use well, it says all
but when not, is says nothing
or worse spreads chaos, death
and misunderstand, or control.

Truth or illusion, depends
on how used, for truth or
clarity, or for degredation
or just to control and mislead?

Power in the knowing, but
loss in the ignorance.

For loss of words leads
to confusion and lowering
but for words and how
used and knowing how to
use them well, leads to
power, but at what cost?

Words big and high
shows knowledge or need
to be seen as bigger than
one is, but wrong words
can lead to brutal loss
of self or just seen as
less than ones brain and
spirit is.

But how to darken the soul
and spirit or and rise up
the lost and forgotten
the word is power.

For loss of it, seems
simple, and dumb, but
to know, shows class
or just something more?
But is it real, or just
an illusion? Only time
will tell. To clarify
or to confuse, what can
the word be said about
to rise up the fallen
or destroy the corrupt
or hide the deadly and
demonic, all can be words
or lack of it. To not
say, or report, to let
happen, with out using
a word, words known to
all or just to some,
Some to keep hidden,
understood by some.

Words can be used to
lift up, to communicate
injustice, or to confuse
what is really going
on, but many know, but
say little. For the words
are not there, or not
dared to be said, for
in the saying, can bring
death, and pain.

Words whispered can doom
all, or some, or many
or corrupt the guardians
and warriors, or just
those who are masters
of words, but kept quiet.

To say what is right
or wrong, and what to
do when found, or tried.

Mike
2008
(first of the new year, so far, got others, and need to work more on the above for flow and how I originally heard it in my head, the words came to me, but got lost in the music and time).
----------
P-They Are Gone:
 
They are gone
those faces in the dark
and I am happy
but sad in this
for I knew them
for a short time,
they have effected
and affected me
more than their lives,
loves and deeds,
other than our time
together as friends
and some as lovers,
but love not of lust
but friendship.
But now they fade and
I am at peace,
but sad in their final
passing for what
of them and their deaths?
I move on and live but how
much pain has come from their deaths
some self inflected, others by mistep.
Some by some one elses hand and deeds.
But they held me for years for their
effect and lifes, lasting longer
than their lives was, but I measure
much by their passing and the result
of their passing and my knowing them.
 
Now to walk in the daylight, to love
myself once again, forgiven not by them
for they are beyond any thing mortal
and forgiveness is not theirs to give
but for me to forgive myself for
misdeed or just ignorance and knot
knowing how to do more or to know
the danger of their words and acts.
 
But I know the effect, the pain unending
what if I have screams and dwelled on
for many hours long and hard but
nothing comes back but more darkness
and it MUST end for in the dwelling
I have lost myself, dwelling in darkness
hating one self until all I have is
my self loathing and pain. Crying
alwasy never feeling more than the
obsession of the pain of their passing
and what I could have done better.
 
To honor them by living and not dying
to move on and help others know
the happiness of living and not
dying in darkness and wander down
paths foul and insane. Lost in the morase
of depression and dead to all but
the strongest emotions and feelings
forces to hurt one self to just feel
anything, to know anything and to hate
onself continually for what?
Something that some else did and now
long gone but me a victim still
of their passing or almost hateful
leaving of this life. Not trusting
or just not helping me to help them.
 
So now, we shall see, live, be happy
do not solve small problems with
permenant solutions. Think of the
others you leave behind and do you
hate them as much as what you left
them with? So please live, and
its not all bad, okay! We just over
simplify in the black and white,
dark and light, happy and lack of.
 
So if not for self, them for me
friends, loved ones or even those
you hate, for if anything you by
living will show your love for those
who love you, and annoy the hell
out of those who hate you and give
them purpose by hating you!
 
But in this I LIVE!
 
Mike
Alaska
2009
----------
P-To Be (Rap)

To be or not to be, what the hell is that question,
of course I rise in the ghetto, to cap some brothers
who cause me pain, or I just let the bitch hump me raw
and I love it..

To be or not to be, what the hell is that question?
Should I raise up and cap the fucker, or should I just
sit here dead and dismembered?

Mike
2005
(2009)


------------
P-Valkyries:

The Valkyries screams over the battle field,
looking for their feast, a feast not of blood
and sinew, flesh and bone, but of souls.

Searching for their masters table, to share
in their masters bounty to Valhalla these ravens
of war, flys across the battle field strewn with
their masters handy work, for who is Odin,
the master of battles, lord of the carrion,
and lord of the hosts of Valhalla, and father
of the Valkyries, chosers of the slain, picky
and keen of site they scour the battle
field for the valient dead, and most worthy
of fallen. For one day, these honored will
arise and serve their master once again
in the final days, a future day, not this day.
for Ragnarok approaches. And for these men,
who fought each other unto deaths door, they
will be there once again, this time arm in
arm, shield to shield, shoulder to shoulder
fighting for their master, whose table they
do share, of fighting, wenching and drinking
there is much, for they know their fates,
for in the end, they will die once again,
against a tricky foe, and his friend from below.
The serpent, the wolf, the giants many
will be there to cross the bridge of light,
to Heimdalls call they will come to the final
field, and fight the final battle, share
in final glory. A final fate againt all the evils
of the world, and their deaths will not be in vain,
for in this second arising and final time,
the world will be reborn anew.

Lord Alaric Morgoth/Mike Adams
Edited 2004
----------
P-Vampires Kiss

Warning it is the season!

P-Vampires Kiss 2016

Ah to taste your neck
like a vampires love,
to feel my teeth pierce,
slow and gentle,
to feel the blood flow
onto my waiting tongue,
to feel your body quiver
and shake as the life
flows from it,
from eyes of love and lust
I see your soul wander away.

Ah my lovers of the dark,
come to me, and bite me hard,
love me harder
drive your teeth deep
into my veins
for bliss comes with each tooth.
each depression into my skin
is my love for you,
and your love for me etenally,
darkness damned but bliss.

Deep and dark,
the vampire crawls
thru bowels of the earth,
and ruins dark and dead
to find the one it needs most,
a lover a friend,
and blood aplenty.

Oh like a vampire
to spread his mouth,
and kiss your neck,
and to feel his fangs,
slide into your flesh,
and feel the blood oozing out,  
the taste the aroma,
the sounds of your breath.
Ah.. to know we are one,
and together, lord and lady,
hunter and prey,
one who needs  
and one who has..
like to have a lover,
who takes you soft and slow,
sucking on neck,  
feeding on your soul,
feeling it escape
to feed his desires and wants
and you joining with him?  

To run his tongue up your thigh,
sliding dress away as he goes,
to find the garden of desire,  
to pierce its folds  
with his tongue, lips and teeth..  
feeling his mouth
sucking your gardens  delight..  
slurping up the blood,
giving pleasure..

feeling the delight of it all?
And he give you much
in return more than pleasure
of  the now, but life eternal,
love eternal, joy enternal..
would you like to share my blood?  
My touch, your hands on mine
and I on yours?

Bodies locked as one?
Eternally!

Mike
2005

Hello Mike Adams

------------
P-Vampires Kiss

Part I
Ah to taste your neck like a vampires love, to feel my teeth
pierce, slow and gentle, to feel the blood flow onto my waiting
tongue, to feel your body quiver and shake as the life flows from
it, from eyes of love and lust I see your soul wander away.

Part II
Ah my lovers of the dark, come to me, and bite me hard, love me
harder drive your teeth deep into my veins for bliss comes with
each tooth. each depression into my skin is my love for you, and
your love for me etenally, darkness damned but bliss.

Part III
Deep and dark, the vampire crawls thru bowels of the earth, and
ruins dark and dead to find the one it needs most, a lover a friend,
and blood aplenty.

Part IV:
Oh like a vampire to spread his mouth,
and kiss your neck, and to feel his fangs,
slide into your flesh, and feel the blood
oozing out,  the taste the aroma, the sound
of your breath.

Part V:
Ah.. to know we are one, and together,
lord and lady, hunter and prey,
one who needs  and one who has..
like to have a lover, who takes you soft
and slow, sucking on neck,  feeding on
your soul, feeling it escape to feed
his desires and wants and you joining with him?

Part VI:
To run his tongue up your thigh, sliding dress
away as he goes, to find the garden of desire,
to pierce its folds  with his tongue, lips and
teeth..  feeling his mouth sucking your gardens
delight..  slurping up the blood, giving pleasure..
feeling the delight of it all?

Part VII:
And he gives you much in return more
than pleasure of the now, but life eternal,
love eternal, joy enternal.. would you like
to share my blood?  My touch, your hands
on mine and I on yours? Bodies locked
as one? Eternal!

Mike
2005

To much like cybersex? To wierd?

Still working on it? I know not like I don't say that
about a few others of my poems/words. Still working on
the short story idea based on Vampires Kiss or The Four.
--------------
P-We ARE BORG (I am)

Alive but dead
Mind gone
resistance lost
burned out
lost and given
up to the masses
of the past
and social
pressures
or just forced
out forgotten
for sanity
or just numb.

Now just
we are borg
and you will
be soon joined
in our union
of mindless
thoughtless
soul less beings
collective
and all dreams
dead, with our
joined dream
over all
all well be
like us, no
freedom, or
seperate thought
for choice
burned out
from the body
total, all joined
as cells of the
body collected.

Who you was
is now US!

Mike
2009
============
Mike Adams 2000