October - A Month in the Life of a Seminarian
Philip Mayer
Greetings from quickly cooling Massachusetts. This past weekend was one of tempestuous winds and driving rains, otherwise known to the good folks in New England as a Nor’easter. You should have seen the look on Melissa's face when the wind mangled into a creation of modern art the umbrella she had purchased within the last hour. It was a sorrowful experience.
This month has been an array of ancient language exams, sermons and papers, but somehow I am still alive. I preached at Christ Church a couple of times, the first of which was on proper 22, Jesus teaching on divorce (Mark 10:2-9). I thought the gospel reading looked challenging and was a subject toward which I feel strongly and an issue which touches the lives of so many, both those who are directly involved as well as family members and friends. However, as I further prepared the sermon I began to feel somewhat fearful with the thought of preaching the conviction of biblical truth yet communicating love to those in the pews who have been or are currently in the midst of divorce. When the day arrived, I sat in the pew as the service drew closer to the sermon and felt terrified—not nervous but terrified. Like the time when I was on a mission trip to the country of Panama and we went swimming with naked Indian kids who were jumping off of thirty, forty and fifty foot cliffs into the water. I remember thinking to myself, if these seven and eight year old kids can do this surely I who am triple their age can take this challenge. I remember feeling a rush of terror as I looked over the cliff and backed away and then suddenly, in a surge wild foolishness ran over the edge and was sucked down through the air and swallowed by the water below. So it was with this preaching engagement. Though I had preached multiple times in the past, never before had I preached on a subject that could seemingly be this controversial or even hurtful. After all, who am I, this young kid who has been married not even two years, to speak on such a great and ancient truth as the sacrament of marriage? However I made it through (go hear to read the sermon: http://philipmayer.blogspot.com/2006/10/divorce.html) and Father Jürgen actually said I did well. Two weeks later I preached again, but this time with no notes whatsoever. In the days before I had written out my sermon and practiced multiple times until I felt I could complete the talk without notes. I felt much better when I stood to preach this time and by the second service I was even able to think on my feet and was beginning to feel a hint of confidence in my speaking ability. After the service I felt that I had conquered. The road to note-less speaking was no longer wobbling like a rope bridge on a child’s playground, but has begun to steady as I progress to the other side.
Youth ministry has been moving steadily forward. Our fall retreat took place without any problems and this past Sunday we went to St. Peters Episcopal Church in Beverly to assist with their weekly soup kitchen and it was a great time with the students.
One of the biggest things that I miss at the seminary is being in a tight-knit group of men who challenge one another and are there for one another during difficult times. I spoke with an acquaintance about this longing and he agreed and then went on to tell of a group that he was involved with at his undergraduate college. Each week they would meet for lunch and then go off and climb up into this old abandoned tunnel. There they would sit in silence until everyone arrived at which point they would pray for one another and through this bonding they became very close. I thought it sounded like an excellent idea and said that we should go for it. We prayed together for God’s leading and then agreed to meet every Tuesday for lunch and prayer. I began talking to some of my other friends on campus and on Tuesday six of us got together for lunch and then we went outside and using the form for Noonday Prayer, prayed for one another. It was great! I am very excited about continuing this group.
Life at the “Mill Street House” is also going well. For those of you who did not know, a few months ago Melissa and I moved into a neo monastic community a few months ago. Mother Beth, one of our former priests at Christ Church and her husband spent a year traveling the globe and visiting intentional Christian communities, both para-church organizations and monasteries here in the states, in Europe and Africa. In following God’s leading they returned to the states and purchased a triple decker house in the worst neighborhood in the city with the intention of building relationships and reaching out to the many poor and rejected people living in the neighborhood. Melissa and I were completely sold on the vision for the house and after much prayer and seeking counsel, we moved into the third floor of the house. Now every morning at seven we gather together in the chapel with the other folks that life here for Morning Prayer and then again then night at ten for Compline. Once a week we have a meal together as a house. We are thoroughly enjoying the experience.
We miss you,
Grace and Peace,
Philip & Melissa Mayer
phil....@gmail.com; 989-798-3955
Divorce is a difficult subject. The word probably brings strong feelings into each of our lives. My aunt, right now is going through divorce and it is emotionally very difficult for me to watch. In preparing to speak to you today I have spoken with a variety of different people concerning divorce and was quickly reminded how opinionated the subject can be.
Circumstances were not much different during Jesus day. It was nearing the time for Passover and there would have been great crowds around Jesus when the Pharisees decided that they would attempt to discredit and further than that, destroy Jesus by asking him about divorce. You see despite the prophet Malichi’s proclamation that God hated divorce, like in our culture, divorce was quite common. There were two influential teachers, according to the Mishnah, over the word, “davar aroth,” which Moses wrote in the law as reason for divorce. One teacher taught that the word meant adultery. You could only divorce your wife because of adultery. However, the other, much more popular teacher taught that you could divorce your wife for any reason—if she burnt your supper or if you found another more beautiful than her.
From the framing of this passage, it seems that Pharisees had thought long and hard about this question and they knew exactly where Jesus stood on the matter for he had spoken of these things before. They also knew that Jesus cousin, John the Baptist had recently been thrown into prison and eventually beheaded for preaching about matters surrounding divorce in this same region—surely their hopes were that through their question Jesus would find himself in the same situation.
When Jesus was asked this question about divorce, instead of becoming involved in an argument over the interpretation of the Mosaic law, he took them back to the very beginning when the sacrament of marriage was instituted by God to show to them God’s purpose for marriage and he said:
“From the beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
No Option
Tertullian, one of the early Church fathers taught from this passage that when God created the first male and female, he created them in relationship without option. God did not have to create just two people so? He could have created six or seven or eight. He could have created Adam and Eve, and Jill, and Sally, and Patty, and said, “Well Adam if it doesn’t work out with Eve, here are these other ladies from which to choose.” No! There was no one else on the planet to which Adam could go. Eve was his only option! Adam was Eve’s only option. It is clear from creation, from the very beginning that God intended marriage to be a non-optional, non-dissolvable union.
One Flesh
Jesus also taught from Holy Scripture that two would come together and become one flesh, “no longer two, but one flesh.” When two people physically come together in the consummate act of marriage there is some type of mystical connection that takes place—a sacramental act of God, whether Christian or non-Christian. The Apostle Paul cited this same verse and wrote, “He who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her.” Even when non-believers get divorced they are ripping apart something that God had put together. Perhaps this is what Jesus was saying: “what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
An Un-encouraged Exception
However, as you know in Matthew’s gospel, Jesus says that God allows adultery as reason for divorce. Yet, I would urge that we follow the biblical example of marriage by going to the utmost lengths possible to show forgiveness and make every attempt possible to heal broken relationships no matter what the trouble. God himself remained in his marriage relationship with the adulterous Israel for seven hundred years, according to the prophet Jeremiah before issuing her a divorce. And yet even when Israel had turned completely away do you think God gave up? Never. He still urged, “Return, faithless Israel, I will not look on you in anger, for I am merciful.” He was willing to go the distance and do whatever it took to win back his people even though they failed him again and again.
Application/Conclusion
Divorce is a very difficult thing. I do not claim to have all of the answers. As I mentioned before my aunt right now is going through a divorce. She and her husband were married before I was born and I watched them together my entire life. I loved both of them and spent many days at their house playing with my cousins as a child. I have many great memories of holiday celebrations, birthdays and camping together. I never gave a second thought to their marriage. To me as a kid and on into my adult years it was something that always was and always would be. When I received news that my aunt had moved out of the house into an apartment because of some utterly horrible abuse within the relationship I was shocked and I did not know what to think. I felt as though my heart were ripping apart and I was not even the one getting the divorce. It is a very difficult and complicated situation. Had I been a pastor involved in the situation I too would have counseled her to separate until these very dire problems in the relationship were taken care of. Today, even as the marriage seems to be hurderling closer than ever to divorce I still pray that healing would take place.
All of us are affected by divorce whether it is in the relationship of someone that we know or maybe in our own lives. May we be reminded that God is a loving and merciful God—one who understands the pain of broken relationships in a far more severe way than you or I ever will. We serve a God who loves those who have been through this horrible experience.
Perhaps you have an excellent marriage or maybe you are having difficulty in your relationship. I would urge you to go the distance, giving the relationship all that you have—following the example that Christ gave, “Husbands, love you wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Go the distance and be willing to give up your life.
In our marriages may we for better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, worship Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—the one almighty God. To him belongs all glory and honor forever and ever. Amen.
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Philip Mayer
of tempestuous winds and driving rains, otherwise known to the good
folks in New England as a Nor'easter. You should have seen the look
on Melissa's face when the wind mangled into a creation of modern art
the umbrella she had purchased within the last hour. It was a sorrowful
This month has been an array of ancient language exams, sermons and
papers, but somehow I am still alive. I preached at Christ Church a
couple of times, the first of which was on proper 22, Jesus teaching on
divorce (Mark 10:2-9). I thought the gospel reading looked challenging
and was a subject toward which I feel strongly and an issue which
touches the lives of so many, both those who are directly involved as
well as family members and friends. However, as I further prepared the
sermon I began to feel somewhat fearful with the thought of preaching
the conviction of biblical truth yet communicating love to those in the
pews who have been or are currently in the midst of divorce. When the
day arrived, I sat in the pew as the service drew closer to the sermon
and felt terrified-not nervous but terrified. Like the time when I
teacher taught that you could divorce your wife for any reason-if she
burnt your supper or if you found another more beautiful than her.
>From the framing of this passage, it seems that Pharisees had thought
long and hard about this question and they knew exactly where Jesus
stood on the matter for he had spoken of these things before. They also
knew that Jesus cousin, John the Baptist had recently been thrown into
prison and eventually beheaded for preaching about matters surrounding
divorce in this same region-surely their hopes were that through
some type of mystical connection that takes place-a sacramental act
God is a loving and merciful God-one who understands the pain of
broken relationships in a far more severe way than you or I ever will.
We serve a God who loves those who have been through this horrible
experience.
Perhaps you have an excellent marriage or maybe you are having
difficulty in your relationship. I would urge you to go the distance,
giving the relationship all that you have-following the example that
Christ gave, "Husbands, love you wives as Christ loved the church and
gave himself up for her." Go the distance and be willing to give up
your life.
In our marriages may we for better, for worse, for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health, worship Father, Son, and Holy Spirit-the