[PhilThreeten] When God Says No

[PhilThreeten]

It’s a simple statement – I want to serve God in whatever capacity He gives me to serve Him. It communicates my willingness to submit myself to God’s will in my life. It leaves the door wide open for Him to work in ways that are far beyond my expectations. It recognizes that He is God and I am His to do with as He pleases.

But it’s hard to live.

Recently I was approached for a new ministry opportunity. I was excited. They were excited. It looked as though things were going to move forward. I think it would have changed the way that I serve God in both significant and valuable ways. I trust that He could have used me to impact people in a positive way that would have helped them to spiritually mature and in all things to bring Him glory.

But God said ‘No.’

Well…technically, I guess the church said ‘No.’ But all my prayers that revolved around this were of the sort ‘If it’s not your will then don’t allow this opportunity to start.’ And they said ‘No.’ So, I see that as God saying ‘No.’ And there is a part of me that is content with that because, ‘I want to serve God in whatever capacity He gives me to serve Him.’

But it still hurts.

As I thought through why it hurts so much, I keep coming back to Isaiah 6. I haven’t had the same vision that Isaiah had, but I’ve had much the same experience in my life. I’ve seen God’s glory in a many practical, epiphanal, and evocative ways. I’ve been made aware of my own sinfulness before Him. I’ve fallen down before Him declaring along with Isaiah ‘I am a man of unclean lips.’ The very holiness of God has touched me through Jesus and my guilt has been taken away and my sins have been atoned for. I’ve heard the call of God, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ With great enthusiasm I stand up and with an almost Horshack-like demeanor wave my hand and yell out, ‘Here am I. Send me!’

But then its like God says, ‘You – put your hand down. I wasn’t looking for you, I was looking for the person right there - behind you…’

And that’s what hurts. Feeling as though God is asking for me to be prepared to go on to…something - but not knowing what it is that He wants me to go on to. I guess, my statement should really state, ‘I want to serve God in whatever capacity He gives me to serve Him – NOW!!!!!’ Lord, I need patience…

But God is still in control.

I was reminded of that recently during a sermon. God is in control. I may not understand the end that God is directing my life towards. I may not understand all the reasons why He brings the successes, failures, joys and hardships into my life – but He does. He sees the end that He is bringing me to. When I stand before Him one day - and am everything that He ever created me to be - I will understand better.

So, for now, I grieve a bit. I rejoice a bit. I remain thankful that God even considers me to have a part in His kingdom. When God says ‘No’ I remember that He has only ever said that in the past when it was for my best. He sees more than I do… And so, I want to continue to serve God in whatever capacity He gives me to serve Him.

Categories: Living

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Posted by PhilThreeten to PhilThreeten at 8/29/2006 11:10:00 AM