THIS is TRUE #807: 29 November
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This is True
Dec 4, 2009, 11:00:00 PM12/4/09
to peta...@gmail.com
SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 107,000 subscribers in over 200
countries, this is the 807th weekly issue of...
THIS is TRUE: 29 November 2009 Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE CAN SEE ALL THIS BY LOOKING IN HER EYES? Dr. Earl Sunderhaus, an eye
doctor in Asheville, N.C., is unhappy with a complaint filed with the
state Medical Board. In response letters addressed to the Medical Board
and the governor, Sunderhaus said the complaining patient, a woman on
medicaid who is having a child, had an "irresponsible orgasm" resulting
in pregnancy, and he is upset because taxpayers have to pay for it. The
woman complained Sunderhaus had poked her thigh and said she was too
fat, was irresponsible for having a child when she was unemployed, and
that her thick eyeglasses wouldn't cause her to go blind, "but her
thick thighs and diabetes would." Sunderhaus said he "poked her thigh
to emphasize that diabetes is the leading cause of blindness." As for
the woman being upset, he said that "People have got to accept
criticism without getting their bowels in an uproar." The doctor could
see his license revoked. "I'm 77," he said about that threat. "I can
tell them to stick the darn thing." (Raleigh News & Observer) ...Well,
he's got them there.
CLEVER DISGUISE: Police in Carroll, Iowa, got a "hot" call -- two men
were trying to break into an apartment. Responding officers saw a
vehicle matching the getaway car's description leaving the scene and
stopped it. They were pretty sure they had their men: witnesses said
the burglars had blacked-out faces, and sure enough the occupants of
the car did. But rather than use facepaint, Matthew Allan McNelly, 23,
and Joey Lee Miller, 20, had used permanent markers to blacken their
faces. Both were arrested on burglary charges, and McNelly was charged
with driving while intoxicated. (Carroll Daily Times Herald) ...No
fair! That was from the fumes!
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
Stretch the Holiday Cheer with Thinking Putty
* Stretch it! Bounce it! Tear it! Shape it!
* The perfect stocking stuffer in amazing holiday colors!
* Don't know what to give this season? Discover Thinking Putty!
http://www.puttyworld.com/tis
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
HOW THINK DO YOU DRUNK I AM?! A woman called the Clark County (Wisc.)
Sheriff's Department to report a drunk driver. When dispatcher asked if
she was "behind them," Mary Strey, 49, replied, "I am them." She's
calling on herself? the dispatcher asked. Yes, Strey replied. "Do you
want to stop driving before you get in an accident?" the dispatcher
suggested. "Yep, I'll stop right now," Strey said. "How many people you
get that call in on themself?" Strey asked. "Not many," the dispatcher
told her. Deputies found her on the side of the road with her flashers
on, and arrested her for drunk driving with a blood-alcohol level of
0.1 percent or above. (Wausau Daily Herald) ...How did the dispatcher
know she really was drunk? The caller's use of the word "themself".
YOU MAY BE A WHITENECK IF: Jonathon Michael Miller, 29, and Stephen Ray
Dilley II, 32, were jailed in Anchorage, Alaska, after a stunt went
awry. "You know what would be funny?" Dilley asked Miller, according to
the resulting police report. Dilley was holding a lighter and a can of
starter fluid -- a "Redneck Flamethrower". Miller was babysitting his
girlfriend's 5-year-old son while she was away, and they called the boy
in. Diller squirted the fluid through the lighter's flame -- which set
the boy's hair on fire. "They ran to [him] and doused the flames with
their hands, then tended to his burns," the police report says. "Dilley
stated he didn't think the spray would go that far." The boy was not
seriously injured. "It was described to the troopers as an accident,"
said Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters. "I mean a child,
two guys, a can of Quick Start, a Bic lighter," she said. "How could
this not go wrong?" (Anchorage Daily News) ...Evidently "You know what
would be funny?" is the non-lethal version of "Hey everybody, watch
this!"
FOR THE LACK OF A SHOE HORN: "Shoe-Theft Suspect Caught on Foot near
Scene of the Crime" -- Knoxville (Tenn.) News Sentinel headline
DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html
YOU HAVE *GOT* TO SEE the mugshots of the yahoos in the "Clever Disguise"
story. They say a picture is worth 1,000 words, but I'm not sure if the
two pictures are worth 2,000. They are, however, worth a belly laugh:
http://www.thisistrue.com/blog-a_clever_disguise.html
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, that means you're on the OLD e-mail server and
REALLY need to re-subscribe. We're actually having significant delivery
problems with this server, most notably with Comcast and POBox.com, so
if you've been missing issues, that's why. Please go right away to the
web site and subscribe again: http://www.thisistrue.com -- more than
9,000 subscribers already have, and they're not missing issues. Thanks!
A SHORT COMMENTS SECTION tonight: I'm running off to a concert. But be
sure you look at those mugshots, and would you also check out the two
brief ads? The advertisers make your free subscription possible. Their
support of TRUE -- and your support of them -- are much appreciated. To
advertise in TRUE see http://www.thisistrue.com/ads.html
THE OTHER HALF OF THE STORIES: Defense attorney asks judge to poll jury
after "not guilty" verdict -- oops: they meant "guilty"! Italian town
wants a "White Christmas" -- by which they mean they want foreigners to
leave. Man fortunate that he remained very calm -- after he
accidentally cuts off his hand. And the December Tagline Challenge
starts early with a story everyone wants to rant about! You can still
read the whole issue: just ask for your upgrade to start with the 29
November issue. http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
o o o
AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Tiger Woods One-Liners.
http://www.JumboJoke.com
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
YOU'RE ASKED AT WORK to supervise a Project Manager.
Quick: how do you get up to speed without looking like an idiot?
Learn the basics of Project Management so you can
get up to speed quickly on the topic and not look stupid:
http://www.ProjectManagementWonk.com
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
TOP ON GROXX TODAY: "Man Arrested for Trespassing on His Own Land".
Submit stories and vote on what submissions are best, register for free
at http://Groxx.com
TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Woman asks to see a diamond ring -- and it
instantly disappears. It's got a top-notch tagline, AND a letter (on
the same page) that you shouldn't miss: http://thisistrue.com/6915
And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!
BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://www.cdc.gov/gcc/exhibit/cards.htm --
the Centers for Disease Control's Global Health Odyssey Museum. In
association with the Smithsonian, the Health Odyssey Museum is a
physical place you can tour. But they have something so WEIRD online
that you almost have to see it to believe it: Disease Trading Cards.
No, really: there are three sets to download, print, and trade with
your friends! Offer to trade your Campylobacter jejuni for a Strep A
Infection -- all the cards are richly illustrated (don't look at the
site while eating, but the sample in the Bonzer archive isn't too bad)
and explained. Definitely bizarre, and a great example of "You really
can find ANYTHING on the Internet."
-- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com
THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Lester Shubin. A chemist, Shubin
took a material developed for racing tires and used it to save
countless lives. For the full story see
http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/lester_shubin.html
NOTE: The full Honorary Unsubscribe is included in the Premium edition --
you don't have to click to a web site to read it. Support the
publication that brings it to you! http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
HONORARY SUBSCRIBE ARCHIVE: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com
YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.
TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com
SUBSCRIPTIONS to "This is True" are free at http://www.thisistrue.com
Published weekly by ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA
(ISSN 1521-1932). TRUE is available to newspapers as a regular feature
column. "This is True" is a registered trademark of ThisIsTrue.Inc
COPYRIGHT 2009 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
completely rewritten by Randy Cassingham using facts from the noted
sources. ALL broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists,
WWW or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is
STRICTLY PROHIBITED without PRIOR written permission from the author.
MANUAL FORWARDING by e-mail to friends is allowed IF 1) the text is
forwarded IN ITS ENTIRETY, from the "Since 1994" line on top through
the end of this paragraph and 2) NO FEE is charged. We REQUEST that you
forward no more than three copies to any one person -- after that, they
should get their own FREE subscription. We ALWAYS appreciate people who
report violations of our copyright to us.
TO COMMENT to the author, mailto:ar...@thisistrue.com -- Please include
your first name and location.
Distribution sponsored by Lyris Technologies, Inc. <http://www.lyris.com>
This copy sent to: [peta...@gmail.com]
TO UNSUBSCRIBE, DO NOT reply to this message! Simply click this URL:
http://wood.lyris.net/u?id=2639436.24544e78a46cf96f20e7c82621fac850&n=T&l=this-is-true&o=14048444
countries, this is the 807th weekly issue of...
THIS is TRUE: 29 November 2009 Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
HE CAN SEE ALL THIS BY LOOKING IN HER EYES? Dr. Earl Sunderhaus, an eye
doctor in Asheville, N.C., is unhappy with a complaint filed with the
state Medical Board. In response letters addressed to the Medical Board
and the governor, Sunderhaus said the complaining patient, a woman on
medicaid who is having a child, had an "irresponsible orgasm" resulting
in pregnancy, and he is upset because taxpayers have to pay for it. The
woman complained Sunderhaus had poked her thigh and said she was too
fat, was irresponsible for having a child when she was unemployed, and
that her thick eyeglasses wouldn't cause her to go blind, "but her
thick thighs and diabetes would." Sunderhaus said he "poked her thigh
to emphasize that diabetes is the leading cause of blindness." As for
the woman being upset, he said that "People have got to accept
criticism without getting their bowels in an uproar." The doctor could
see his license revoked. "I'm 77," he said about that threat. "I can
tell them to stick the darn thing." (Raleigh News & Observer) ...Well,
he's got them there.
CLEVER DISGUISE: Police in Carroll, Iowa, got a "hot" call -- two men
were trying to break into an apartment. Responding officers saw a
vehicle matching the getaway car's description leaving the scene and
stopped it. They were pretty sure they had their men: witnesses said
the burglars had blacked-out faces, and sure enough the occupants of
the car did. But rather than use facepaint, Matthew Allan McNelly, 23,
and Joey Lee Miller, 20, had used permanent markers to blacken their
faces. Both were arrested on burglary charges, and McNelly was charged
with driving while intoxicated. (Carroll Daily Times Herald) ...No
fair! That was from the fumes!
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
Stretch the Holiday Cheer with Thinking Putty
* Stretch it! Bounce it! Tear it! Shape it!
* The perfect stocking stuffer in amazing holiday colors!
* Don't know what to give this season? Discover Thinking Putty!
http://www.puttyworld.com/tis
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
HOW THINK DO YOU DRUNK I AM?! A woman called the Clark County (Wisc.)
Sheriff's Department to report a drunk driver. When dispatcher asked if
she was "behind them," Mary Strey, 49, replied, "I am them." She's
calling on herself? the dispatcher asked. Yes, Strey replied. "Do you
want to stop driving before you get in an accident?" the dispatcher
suggested. "Yep, I'll stop right now," Strey said. "How many people you
get that call in on themself?" Strey asked. "Not many," the dispatcher
told her. Deputies found her on the side of the road with her flashers
on, and arrested her for drunk driving with a blood-alcohol level of
0.1 percent or above. (Wausau Daily Herald) ...How did the dispatcher
know she really was drunk? The caller's use of the word "themself".
YOU MAY BE A WHITENECK IF: Jonathon Michael Miller, 29, and Stephen Ray
Dilley II, 32, were jailed in Anchorage, Alaska, after a stunt went
awry. "You know what would be funny?" Dilley asked Miller, according to
the resulting police report. Dilley was holding a lighter and a can of
starter fluid -- a "Redneck Flamethrower". Miller was babysitting his
girlfriend's 5-year-old son while she was away, and they called the boy
in. Diller squirted the fluid through the lighter's flame -- which set
the boy's hair on fire. "They ran to [him] and doused the flames with
their hands, then tended to his burns," the police report says. "Dilley
stated he didn't think the spray would go that far." The boy was not
seriously injured. "It was described to the troopers as an accident,"
said Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Megan Peters. "I mean a child,
two guys, a can of Quick Start, a Bic lighter," she said. "How could
this not go wrong?" (Anchorage Daily News) ...Evidently "You know what
would be funny?" is the non-lethal version of "Hey everybody, watch
this!"
FOR THE LACK OF A SHOE HORN: "Shoe-Theft Suspect Caught on Foot near
Scene of the Crime" -- Knoxville (Tenn.) News Sentinel headline
DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html
YOU HAVE *GOT* TO SEE the mugshots of the yahoos in the "Clever Disguise"
story. They say a picture is worth 1,000 words, but I'm not sure if the
two pictures are worth 2,000. They are, however, worth a belly laugh:
http://www.thisistrue.com/blog-a_clever_disguise.html
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, that means you're on the OLD e-mail server and
REALLY need to re-subscribe. We're actually having significant delivery
problems with this server, most notably with Comcast and POBox.com, so
if you've been missing issues, that's why. Please go right away to the
web site and subscribe again: http://www.thisistrue.com -- more than
9,000 subscribers already have, and they're not missing issues. Thanks!
A SHORT COMMENTS SECTION tonight: I'm running off to a concert. But be
sure you look at those mugshots, and would you also check out the two
brief ads? The advertisers make your free subscription possible. Their
support of TRUE -- and your support of them -- are much appreciated. To
advertise in TRUE see http://www.thisistrue.com/ads.html
THE OTHER HALF OF THE STORIES: Defense attorney asks judge to poll jury
after "not guilty" verdict -- oops: they meant "guilty"! Italian town
wants a "White Christmas" -- by which they mean they want foreigners to
leave. Man fortunate that he remained very calm -- after he
accidentally cuts off his hand. And the December Tagline Challenge
starts early with a story everyone wants to rant about! You can still
read the whole issue: just ask for your upgrade to start with the 29
November issue. http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
o o o
AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Tiger Woods One-Liners.
http://www.JumboJoke.com
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
YOU'RE ASKED AT WORK to supervise a Project Manager.
Quick: how do you get up to speed without looking like an idiot?
Learn the basics of Project Management so you can
get up to speed quickly on the topic and not look stupid:
http://www.ProjectManagementWonk.com
----------==========**********O**********==========----------
TOP ON GROXX TODAY: "Man Arrested for Trespassing on His Own Land".
Submit stories and vote on what submissions are best, register for free
at http://Groxx.com
TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Woman asks to see a diamond ring -- and it
instantly disappears. It's got a top-notch tagline, AND a letter (on
the same page) that you shouldn't miss: http://thisistrue.com/6915
And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!
BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://www.cdc.gov/gcc/exhibit/cards.htm --
the Centers for Disease Control's Global Health Odyssey Museum. In
association with the Smithsonian, the Health Odyssey Museum is a
physical place you can tour. But they have something so WEIRD online
that you almost have to see it to believe it: Disease Trading Cards.
No, really: there are three sets to download, print, and trade with
your friends! Offer to trade your Campylobacter jejuni for a Strep A
Infection -- all the cards are richly illustrated (don't look at the
site while eating, but the sample in the Bonzer archive isn't too bad)
and explained. Definitely bizarre, and a great example of "You really
can find ANYTHING on the Internet."
-- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com
THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Lester Shubin. A chemist, Shubin
took a material developed for racing tires and used it to save
countless lives. For the full story see
http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/lester_shubin.html
NOTE: The full Honorary Unsubscribe is included in the Premium edition --
you don't have to click to a web site to read it. Support the
publication that brings it to you! http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
HONORARY SUBSCRIBE ARCHIVE: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com
YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.
TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com
SUBSCRIPTIONS to "This is True" are free at http://www.thisistrue.com
Published weekly by ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA
(ISSN 1521-1932). TRUE is available to newspapers as a regular feature
column. "This is True" is a registered trademark of ThisIsTrue.Inc
COPYRIGHT 2009 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
completely rewritten by Randy Cassingham using facts from the noted
sources. ALL broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists,
WWW or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is
STRICTLY PROHIBITED without PRIOR written permission from the author.
MANUAL FORWARDING by e-mail to friends is allowed IF 1) the text is
forwarded IN ITS ENTIRETY, from the "Since 1994" line on top through
the end of this paragraph and 2) NO FEE is charged. We REQUEST that you
forward no more than three copies to any one person -- after that, they
should get their own FREE subscription. We ALWAYS appreciate people who
report violations of our copyright to us.
TO COMMENT to the author, mailto:ar...@thisistrue.com -- Please include
your first name and location.
Distribution sponsored by Lyris Technologies, Inc. <http://www.lyris.com>
This copy sent to: [peta...@gmail.com]
TO UNSUBSCRIBE, DO NOT reply to this message! Simply click this URL:
http://wood.lyris.net/u?id=2639436.24544e78a46cf96f20e7c82621fac850&n=T&l=this-is-true&o=14048444
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