THIS is TRUE #805: 15 November

[This is True]

SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 107,000 subscribers in over 200
countries, this is the 805th weekly issue of...

THIS is TRUE: 15 November 2009 Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
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WELL PRACTICED: "Dude, I do this every night," Zachary R. Duis, 24, told
Indiana State Police officers after being pulled over in Porter County
for erratic driving. "I'm straight up and not drunk." Dubious troopers
tested him anyway: his blood alcohol registered 0.30 percent, they say
-- nearly four times the legal limit for drivers. Duis was arrested for
drunk driving. (Indianapolis Star) ...The scary part? The first thing
he said is probably true.

NO HONOR AMONG THIEVES: A student at the University of Wisconsin in
Milwaukee was walking home from work when four men pulled him into an
alley and forced him to lie face-down with a gun to his neck. They took
everything from his pockets, but when the gang leader looked in the
victim's wallet and saw an Army Reserve ID card, he told his
accomplices to give him his stuff back. "The guy continued to say
throughout the situation that he respects what I do and at one point he
actually thanked me and he actually apologized," the unidentified 21-
year-old victim said. "The leader of the group actually walked back
[and] gave me a quick fist bump." Police note that 10 minutes later,
the gang robbed another man, who had a Department of Corrections inmate
ID in his wallet. They didn't give him his wallet back. (AP) ...Fair
enough.

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ZERO TOLERANCE IN THE REAL WORLD -- BRITISH DIVISION: Paul Clarke, 27, a
former soldier, was on the balcony of his home in Merstham, Surrey,
England, when he noticed a bag in his garden that didn't belong to him.
"I took it indoors and inside found a shorn-off shotgun and two
cartridges," he said, so he took his find to the police to turn it in
-- "I thought it was my duty to hand it in and get it off the streets,"
he said. As soon as he handed the gun to authorities he was arrested
for "possessing a firearm." Worse, the jury for the Guildford Crown
Court found Clarke guilty, and by law he must serve a minimum of five
years in prison. Prosecutor Brian Stalk said Clarke's "alleged" honesty
was irrelevant, and Judge Christopher Critchlow agreed, saying "The
intention of anybody possessing a firearm is irrelevant." (Surrey
Mirror) ...And now we know British jurisprudence is, too.

GODWIN'S LAW: Torkieh Sadagheh, 30, tried crying in court. He tried
screaming at the judge, who he declared "worse than Hitler." None of it
worked. Sadagheh, who posed as a livery cab driver to find victims for
a rape spree, was caught after one victim noted his license plate
number as she fled his car. "They have two women defiling my
constitutional rights!" he yelled in court. But Manhattan, N.Y.,
Supreme Court Justice Thomas Farber wouldn't have any of it: "I have
before me a selfish, manipulative, narcissistic predator," he said. "I
see no reason to give him less than 15 years," though "he probably
deserves more," the judge said. So Farber tacked on a $1,000 fine and
an extra 30 days in jail for contempt of court for Sadagheh's
outbursts, including the Syrian's incredulous scream, "In America sex
is legal!" (New York Daily News) ...Maybe, but consent is nine-tenths
of the law.

SUSPECTS CONSIDERED OUTRAGEOUSLY DANGEROUS: "Half-Million Worth of
Feminine Products Stolen" -- Conway (Ark.) Log Cabin-Democrat headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

NEXT WEEK there will be a ONE-WEEK special to commemorate (ugh! Really?
ALREADY?!) "Black Friday" -- the official start of the holiday gift-
buying season. It's going to be a fabulous package of goodies for a
great price, but it's only going to be available for ONE WEEK -- or
less, if we run out, which is possible because on Monday, Premium
subscribers hear about it first (so they'll get 11 days with it). Check
this space next week for details -- or you can upgrade in the next few
days to be among the group who get the first crack at it:
http://www.thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

I GOT SEVERAL NOTES about the first story from Premium subscribers,
wondering why I didn't say something about the alleged drunk driver's
name, Duis -- or, as several of them put it, "DUIs!" It is a classic of
the genre I dub "Freaks of Nomenclature", a name that says something
about the person. I didn't say anything because sometimes it's a
delight to just discover it yourself. Besides, when they're TOO
obvious, pointing it out can be gratuitous, and I don't want to be too
predictable. All in all, it's just Yet Another Example why my job is so
fun, and (I hope!) my work is fun to read, too.

Not familiar with Godwin's Law (the last story)? That brought comments
too. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_Law has the basics for you.

TIM IN COLORADO writes, "I was reading the Honorary Unsubscribe today (my
favorite part of true), and I wondered: Have you ever had an Honorary
Unsubscribe that was an actual unsubscribe? Just curious." Yep: one
comes to mind immediately, since I got a note from his widow last
month, on the 10th anniversary of his death. He was a good friend, and
I had the bittersweet experience of delivering his eulogy. There's an
entry on my blog about it, with links to Jerry's H.U. and the eulogy I
delivered: http://thisistrue.com/blog-a_real_honorary_unsubscribe

There might be another example or two that don't come to mind right now
in the nearly 12 years that the H.U. has been running. I've also heard
from old girlfriends of the deceased (can't think of any notes from old
boyfriends), including one who is an old friend of my mother's. And I
definitely hear from friends on the honoree, many times saying that
they first heard about their friends' death in TRUE, which I find both
cool and sad....

This week's H.U. is for someone representing a profession we in the
west love: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/earl_cooley.html

o o o

REMINDER: If you're reading THIS PARAGRAPH, it means you're still getting
TRUE via the old server. I'm slowing moving this list to a new
provider, so it's important that you re-subscribe. By coincidence, the
old server has had some trouble (including last weekend), and I've had
to wait over the weekend for support to get in and fix the problem, and
only then can issues go out. That has not been a problem with the new
provider. When you successfully confirm your subscription, I'll remove
you from the old (Lyris) server's distribution. Just go to TRUE's site
at http://www.thisistrue.com and subscribe in the form that's on nearly
every page.

AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Words of Wisdom. They are; I
should have marked it "True Story"! http://www.JumboJoke.com

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The newest model of this amazing pocket-sized HD video camera
is also lower than list price -- low enough that we're not allowed
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for external mics for the best audio, AND you can expand memory
with standard SD cards. Sweet! http://ThisIsTrue.com/d-zi8
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PARTICULARLY AMUSING on Groxx this week: "Official Wants Corpses Caned
for Dying from Drinking Illegal Gin". (It's out of Uganda, if you
wondered.) Submit stories and vote on what submissions are best,
register for free at http://Groxx.com

PREMIUM SUBSCRIBERS got LOTS MORE stories on Monday: Court throws out
prostitution case as "outrageous"; WHY is the funny part. School
principal says scheme to give students better grades for cash
contributions is NOT "selling grades" (oh no no!), but district orders
her to stop. When cop asks man what's in the bag, he gives such an
outrageous, implausible, and curiosity-inducing reply that it leads to
his arrest. Disney upset over "Snow White" parody, apparently
forgetting they didn't create the story in the first place. For
details, see http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: A great (if I may say so) tagline on a fabulous
"Freak of Nomenclature" story: http://thisistrue.com/6757
And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!

BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://ChristmasCardsFree.net -- Free
Christmas Cards. It's getting to be that time of the year, and whether
you fall in the "Merry Christmas" camp, the "Happy Holidays" camp, or
even just "Happy New Year", you'll find dozens of PDF-based card
designs here to print out on your color printer, rather than try to
find what you want at a store or in a catalog, and wait in line to
spend big bucks on them. Print the exact number you need, and then
print more when you realize you forgot someone when they send you one!
More designs are added frequently, too, so check back if you don't find
just the one you want.
-- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Earl Cooley. A firefighter for
the U.S. Forest Service, in 1940 Cooley volunteered for a new program:
"Smokejumper". He and his partner were the first to jump into a fire,
and there's only one thing he didn't like about the job. For the full
story see http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/earl_cooley.html
NOTE: The full Honorary Unsubscribe is included in the Premium edition --
you don't have to click to a web site to read it. Support the
publication that brings it to you! http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
HONORARY SUBSCRIBE ARCHIVE: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

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