News of the Weird, August 3, 2008
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Among President Sarkozy's recent moves to trim the size of the
French government was the layoff of half of the 165
physiotherapists at the taxpayer-funded National Baths of Aix-Les-
Bains. The pink-slipped masseurs warn that the country's health
will be at risk if people are unable to get the mud wraps, thermal
baths, and deep-tissue massages covered by national health
insurance (along with subsidized transportation and lodging for the
visits). In fact, 27 of the physiotherapists immediately went on
sick leave for depression. Among Sarkozy's other targets of
government bloat, according to a July Wall Street Journal dispatch:
figuring out why France employs 271 diplomats in India but more
than 700 in Senegal. [Wall Street Journal, 7-8-08]
Compelling Explanations
* Edward Defreitas, 36, was arrested in Toms River, N.J., in June
and accused of causing a three-vehicle collision that injured two
men in a car and sent two others (paramedics riding in an
ambulance) to the hospital. Defreitas told police that he had been
drinking and had decided to drive around until he sobered up: "He
[said he] was afraid to go home and his mother finding alcohol on
his breath." [Asbury Park Press, 6-11-08]
The Litigious Society
* School custodian Anthony Gower-Smith, 73, was awarded the
equivalent of about $75,000 in June in London's High Court after
suing Britain's Hampshire County government when he hurt
himself falling off a 6-foot stepladder. Gower-Smith claimed that
he had not been properly "trained" on how to use it, despite his
long-time experience with such ladders, and despite his signed
acknowledgment that he had indeed received training, and despite
his having blamed himself just after he fell. (He disavowed the
self-blame by saying that, at the time, he was woozy and didn't
remember what he said.) [Daily Telegraph, 6-16-08; BBC News, 6-
27-08]
* Shannon Hyman, now 24, filed a lawsuit in July against the
Green Iguana Bar & Grill in St. Petersburg, Fla., for medical bills
and lost wages when she was badly burned four years ago drinking
a "flaming shot" of Bacardi 151-proof rum (which normally is
consumed without incident, but Hyman had spit out the drink,
spreading flames to her head and upper torso). Hyman told the
Tampa Tribune, "I'm suing because I should not have been let in
(because she was under 21 at the time). If I weren't let in, none of
the events would have happened." [Tampa Tribune, 7-16-08]
Ironies
* In July, the new smoking ban for bars and restaurants in the
Netherlands took effect, but it won't curtail patrons' right to smoke
marijuana in Amsterdam's coffee shops (where they can buy up to
five grams a day to smoke on the premises). And, just as the ban
became law, the Dutch special-effects company Rain
Showtechniek began selling bars a machine (for the equivalent of
about $900) that, for nostalgia, replicates the scent of traditional,
cigarette-smoked air (but which does not damage health or linger
in clothing or hair.) [USA Today, 6-27-08] [Daily Telegraph
(London), 7-14-08]
* Not Quite Rehabilitated: A prominent anti-drug motivational
speaker, who uses his own sordid life story to inspire troubled kids
to turn their lives around, was arrested in May and charged with
attempted murder after allegedly shooting at his girlfriend and an
old buddy from prison following a long evening of alcohol and
methamphetamines. Said the prosecutor in Isanti County, Minn.,
of the rampage by Russell Simon Jr., 45, "We're lucky we don't
have a multiple homicide on our hands." [Star-Tribune-AP, 5-23-
08]
I Demand My Rights!
* Murder suspect Broderick Laswell, 19, filed a lawsuit in federal
court in April against the Benton County (Ark.) Jail, alleging that
he was being "literally" "starved to death" while awaiting trial, and
complaining of "blurry" vision and of almost passing out. As
evidence of his plight, Laswell pointed out that, in eight months
behind bars, his weight had dropped from 413 pounds to 308.
[Morning News (Fayetteville), 4-25-08]
* It's Good to Be a British Prisoner (continued): In June, Abu
Qatada, a cleric described as one of Europe's most dangerous terror
proselytizers, was released from jail, where he has been awaiting
deportation (for three years) to Jordan, and confined to his home in
London. British courts refuse to deport him because, when Jordan
tries him on serious terrorism charges, it might possibly use
evidence obtained by torture of Abu Qatada's colleagues. Thus, he
will remain in Britain, under heavy guard (estimated to cost the
equivalent of $1 million a year), in his tax-abated home with his
wife and five children, who receive the equivalent of about
$90,000 a year in welfare benefits. (Abu Qatada himself receives
the equivalent of $16,000 a year from the government, for a
previous back injury.) [Daily Mail (London), 7-10-08]
* A U.S. Court of Appeals ruled in July that officials at a junior
high school in Safford, Ariz., should not have strip-searched a 13-
year-old girl when all they wanted was to see if she was carrying
ibuprofen. However, her "right" to privacy carried the day among
the judges by only 6-5, as the dissenters pointed out that it was,
after all, prescription-strength ibuprofen they were after and that
officials proceeded based on information from an "informant."
(The majority apparently holds junior-high-age "informants" in
lower regard.) [Arizona Daily Star, 7-12-08]
People With Issues
* At the time that Alan Patton, 56, of Columbus, Ohio, made News
of the Weird in 2006, he had already been consuming boys' urine
for 40 years, he said, and a 2007 jail sentence has had no apparent
deterrent effect. He was arrested in June 2008 (and twice since
then), accused of turning off the water in a recreation center
restroom and placing plastic wrap inside the bowl to catch the
nectar that, he says, enables him to "become part of their youth."
While no Ohio law prohibits collecting or drinking others' urine,
Patton violates his almost-perpetual probation by visiting any
public restroom. [Columbus Dispatch, 7-19-08]
Least Competent Criminals
* In the course of burglarizing Yaakov Kanelsky's apartment in
Brooklyn, N.Y., in July, Victor Marin, 20, accidentally left his
wallet (containing ID, credit cards, and photos) on the bed. After
Kanelsky arrived home and called 911, Marin returned and
knocked on the front door. From the hallway, he begged for his
billfold back and began shoving Kanelsky's money under the door,
hoping to persuade him to trade. Unfortunately for Marin, $92 of
his $217 cash haul was in $1 bills, and the crack under the door
was tiny. Marin was still busy stuffing money in by the time police
arrived. [New York Post, 7-14-08]
Update
* In July in Brisbane, the Indian-born surgeon known in Australia
as "Dr. Death," Jayant Patel, was freed on bail on manslaughter
charges, which seems inexplicable since he had fled to the U.S. in
2005 to avoid the charges and only recently had been extradited.
Patel's medical license had been revoked in New York and Oregon
before he became head of surgery in a short-staffed Australian
hospital in 2003 (a job for which a background check was not
performed). While Patel was there, at least 17 of his patients died
under preventable circumstances, and some nurses said they took
to hiding their patients from Patel, who was quoted by one nurse as
saying "Doctors don't get germs." He was also charged with
falsifying patient records. [Agence France-Presse, 7-20-08; New
York Times, 11-22-06]
Things You Thought Didn't Happen
* (1) People would hardly expect a brawl at the Guilford (Maine)
Historical Society, but in May, member Al Hunt, who was irate
that rare photographs of the town had been loaned to a local
restaurant, might have bumped against the society's secretary,
Zarvin Shaffer. According to witnesses, Shaffer then punched
Hunt in the face; Hunt's wife grabbed a chair; and Shaffer's son
yanked Mrs. Hunt away by her hair. (2) In April, the Sycamore
(Ill.) City Council voted to quadruple the fine for overstaying a
parking meter (from 25 cents to $1). The city's 360 meters
themselves will remain at a penny for 12 minutes, a nickel for an
hour, and a dime for two hours. [Bangor Daily News, 5-29-08]
[Daily Chronicle (DeKalb, Ill.), 5-22-08]
Thanks This Week to Vikki Williams, Tom Barker, Joe
Weckbacher, and Gerald Sacks, and to the News of the Weird
Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net (or www.NewsoftheWeird.com) or
mail Weir...@earthlink.net / P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33629.