Humility

[Rajendra Pal Singh]

A person who takes criticism equably and continues in a group to exchange ideas and concepts with a smile can be called humble.

It is in the nature of things to consider self-confidence to be haughtiness.

[Molly Brogan]

I found this on the web that is a good contrast between arrogance and confidence:

How can you tell if someone is confident or arrogant?

Let's start by defining both terms. Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance that comes from an appreciation of our abilities or qualities.

Arrogance is characterized by having an exaggerated sense of our importance or abilities. Luckily, there are a few clues that can help us to spot arrogance.

First, arrogant individuals often believe that they have nothing to learn from others, so they act like know-it-alls. They fight tooth and nail to be right and to show that others are wrong. As a result, they don't listen to other people's views.

Confident people, on the other hand, have no problem listening. They're aware that they don't know everything and are happy to learn from others.

Arrogant people also like to talk about themselves. A lot. They brag about their achievements, skills and abilities, and often ignore those around them. In meetings, for example, arrogant people generally seek the spotlight. Consciously or unconsciously, they make others feel less important. They might use condescending language, talk over people, or display body language that shows a lack of interest in others.

Conversely, confident people may shine a light on their colleagues' achievements in meetings or in group work. They ask for input, encourage teamwork, and generously praise their co-workers.

Perhaps the most fundamental difference is that arrogance often masks insecurity. That's why arrogant people are boastful about their achievements and abilities while tending to demean others.

Confidence, on the other hand, stems from true self-worth: a belief and pride in your achievements and abilities. Confident people have self-assurance that contributes to inner calm. They show composure and don't brag or act superior to others.

Ultimately, arrogance repels us. Nobody likes to spend time around arrogant people. They are a vexation to the spirit. Confident people are the opposite: they inspire others. The more we spend time with them, the more likely we are to develop confidence ourselves. Confidence attracts us and is contagious.

(Mind Tools for Business, March 2019)

[Molly Brogan]

Here is a good article by Forbes Magazine that speaks to having confidence without arrogance. A good insight:

Here are six tips for avoiding the arrogance trap:

Focus on ideas, not yourself. When you’re challenging the group or playing devil’s advocate, be sure you’re doing so because the idea is important, not because you believe you are important. Avoid arrogance and be sure your advocacy is for the benefit of the group and the quality of its output.

Respect others’ points of view. At the same time, you may have confidence in your own idea, acknowledge the value of others’ ideas as well. Your advocacy for your thoughts shouldn’t overshadow people who may think differently. Authentically appreciate others—and do so out loud.

Listen and seek understanding. Perhaps the best evidence of respecting others’ points of view is listening and asking questions to understand perspectives which are unique. Assume ideas different than your own have value and something from which you can learn.

Invite different opinions. When you’re sharing something new or different, rather than seeking agreement, ask whether others see things differently. The brilliant social scientist Chris Argyris suggested organizational success wouldn’t come from suppressing conflict, but through encouraging dialogue and testing of ideas.

Share early. Don’t assume a bullet-proof idea is the most convincing. Often, people are more convinced to try something new when they have the opportunity to shape the solution. Put ideas forward when they aren’t fully baked so participants have the chance to provide input and influence the end-game.

Cooperate. A study published in Chaos: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Nonlinear Science found when people cooperate, they tend to rise to positions of leadership. Rather than forcing your ideas or seeking to push them through the system, find common ground and collaborate with others. In this kind of atmosphere, your ideas will be more likely to stick and influence others.

A devil’s advocate is a critical role when you’re collaborating and can prevent the group from going in the wrong direction, but healthy challenge can’t be based on ego. Instead of taking a truculent approach, prioritize your ideas over yourself, respect others’ points of view, listen, invite differences of opinion and provide the opportunity for cooperation and for others to shape outcomes. The point isn’t to be the smartest person in the room, rather it’s to advance the process—and this is the smartest idea of all.

On Monday, October 4, 2021 at 11:36:54 AM UTC-4 Rajendra Pal Singh wrote:

[Molly Brogan]

I posted the referenced articles separately to try to continue the conversation on this. In my business, where hundreds of people are working together in any given day, it can be difficult to move ahead in agreement and establish nurturing group dynamics. This confusion of arrogance with confidence is a big contributor sometimes, and often stalls the development of understanding in groups. I offer this to develop the idea that RP has presented here, which is interesting and important for every community. It is directed at no one person.

[allan...@gmail.com]

Thanks Molly, I really needed that
  ...  It was getting to be a little to much of a " Strain " for me,
I am glad you like my clumping haiku. Some times I have to just clump some words together and hope for the best..

Joey's vet day
She did direct eye contact
Rain poured down

Her bravery shined
Calmly sitting on my arm
She did annual shots

Refusing vet's cookie
Three point two four kilograms
Pure courage glowing

Sun was shinning
Joey high stepped to waiting Car
She is healthy at eleven.

Our guard dog
Keeping watch over her pack
Resting quietly on Lap

Thank you Joey
. . . . .

~~~~
Allan


do not murder; rape; or enslave others
God is not a myth

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[allan...@gmail.com]

I think RP has left the group..

Allan

do not murder; rape; or enslave others
God is not a myth

-----Original Message-----
From: Molly Brogan <molly...@gmail.com>
To: "\"Minds Eye\"" <mind...@googlegroups.com>
Sent: Tue, 05 Oct 2021 3:50 PM
Subject: Mind's Eye Re: Humility

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[Molly Brogan]

Was it something I said?

[allan...@gmail.com]

No it was in what I said

 He asked me if he ever put me down and I replied.."Yes". The discussion went on and he was talking about leaving the group ..  and I replied "it might be a good idea,🧐
It is totally on my shoulders, I said that I would not respond to him any more.

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/minds-eye/0442f299-b027-4d96-a4eb-c4a9cb0dfa93n%40googlegroups.com.

[allan...@gmail.com]

Personally I like what you said as it gave me a lot to think about..
And mental stimulus is always welcome.

Allan


do not murder; rape; or enslave others
God is not a myth

-----Original Message-----
From: Molly Brogan <molly...@gmail.com>
To: "\"Minds Eye\"" <mind...@googlegroups.com>

Sent: Wed, 06 Oct 2021 12:51 AM

To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/minds-eye/0442f299-b027-4d96-a4eb-c4a9cb0dfa93n%40googlegroups.com.

[Molly Brogan]

Thanks, Allan. Discussing ideas is a fine art and not for everyone I guess.