validation?

[June]

How do I get validation if it I am not suppose to get it from others. I
know I know self affirmations. They don't work. I am an addict that can
convince anyone including myself that thats a bunch of bull because I
have low self esteem. So how do I get validation and why can't I get it
from other people. That confuses me. Aren't others suppose to validate
you? Isn't that what helps with our self image?\
June

[Sky...@aol.com]

In a message dated 7/27/06 3:16:02 PM, June...@aol.com writes:
I said to my shrink once the same thing.  How can I love myself unless others do and that's why Inner child re parenting is so important.  And yes, we do need that validation for awhile until we learn that we are ok and more about our spiritual path etc.  That's why 12 step groups help.  We understand and validate each other..  while we are changing our behavior

Judith Skye  Lavendar
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380 Riverside Dr  8L
New York,  NY 10025

Support our troops, impeach Bush.........

[Gail R.]

Hi June,

 

What I have heard in recovery, and I've seen it happen for myself...we must learn to validate ourselves, because we can't count on validation from other people.  It doesn't happen overnight - it's part of learning new recovery behaviors.  Since we didn't get enough validation as children (for many of us), we keep looking for validation outside of ourselves.  Most "normal" people (I know I shouldn't even use that term, but by normal I mean, non-addicts) who develop normally, learn to validate themselves and aren't so needy, seeking validation all the time from others.

 

I believe we can learn to validate ourselves and choose other people who validate themselves and learn to be less needy.  I have seen some progress in myself this way and it feels good to not be looking outward all the time to feel good about myself.

 

Hope this helps,

Your friend in recovery,

Gail

June <June...@aol.com> wrote:

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