Take Yourself Seriously http://diaperstodeadlines.typepad.com/
EchoinngMemoriez
http://diaperstodeadlines.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/07/take_yourself_s.html
How many times have you done one of the following?
Put off getting childcare you desperately need to work because you
can't justify the cost. No, you'll just find a way to write that
2,000-word article after everyone's gone to bed, when your eyelids are
hovering at half-mast
Found yourself interrupting your work to tend to requests for snacks or
break up a squabble--when your spouse is also in the house, watching TV
or reading the newspaper
Apologized to your spouse for asking him or her to watch the kids while
you make a deadline
July's theme is Taking Yourself Seriously. I'd like to tell you
something I learned the hard way: nobody is going to take your writing
seriously until you take it seriously yourself. Not your husband or
wife or partner, not your kids, not your mother, and certainly not the
editor you're trying to impress.
It can be really difficult to do this, whether we're just starting out
or have been established for years. When we aren't widely published or
making a lot of money from writing, it's hard to justify the time we
spend working on it. Sometimes, even when we are well-established, it
can feel like we're letting somebody down if we're taking time away
from family needs to work--even when we're squeezing writing into the
hours nobody else wants from us (usually sometime after midnight).
Hiring child care or household help can seem like a luxury we neither
need nor deserve. Asking the spouse to help out in the off-hours just
seems unfair. After all, doesn't he (or she) deserve a break, too?
But here's the thing--if you're serious about having a writing career,
it's illogical to try to cram writing in after every other commitment
in your life. It simply won't work. There has to be an investment made
in your role as a writer, whether it's financial, or time, or even
emotional--the mindset that you deserve to have it and that it's
valuable not just to you but the whole family. Think of it this way: if
you were working outside of the home, it's not as though you'd look at
childcare, or a work wardrobe, or a business-related trip as an expense
you couldn't justify. And I've never heard of a single mother expecting
her husband to tote a toddler to the office with him.
I'm not arguing that every writer needs or has to have child care when
they're just getting started. I didn't for a while, for a variety of
reasons. Often, money is so tight that the budget simply won't allow
for child care expenses, no matter how badly you want a sitter. In
those cases, you have to improvise for a while. Some people make a
commitment to keeping their children at home while they work, and I
respect and admire that. But if they're going to gain momentum--without
completely losing their minds and burning out after a few
months--there's still going to have to be compromises made in some
other area. It's not about child care, specifically--what you really
need is a mindset that your writing is a priority. It's not shoved to
the bottom of the list somewhere after vacuuming the drapes. If that
means you have to get somebody else to vacuum the drapes, so be it. If
you don't want to use a sitter, then your partner or spouse might have
to take over for you in the evenings and on weekends so you can write.
Don't apologize for it. Your career is not unimportant, and it's not
selfish. Even if you aren't making money yet, the time you're putting
in now is building a solid foundation for income later. That's what
owning your own small business--and really, being a working writer is
running a small business--is all about. You put in a lot of hours at
the beginning for a payoff down the road.
It's not always easy to convince the people in our lives that what
we're doing is important and valuable and that there will be a return
on investment later. That's why you have to convince yourself first. If
you aren't certain that you deserve or need the family to invest in
your career, fake it until you make it. Don't apologize for your work.
Don't grovel or beg for scraps of time. Figure out what you absolutely
need and arrange to make it happen. Expect some resistance, but don't
give in. Just re-state what you need over and over until it sinks in.
This month at D2D we'll be talking about taking yourself seriously.
We'll tackle some of the age-old writing-parent questions: how can I
afford child care when I can't afford child care but I need child care
to work? How do I get my family on board with my plans? How do I get
them to respect my working time and space? How do I get editors to take
me seriously when it's obvious I'm an at-home writing parent? We'll
offer practical tips and inspiration, but one thing that's going to pop
up again and again is that it starts with you. Take yourself seriously.
Start right now. What is one thing you can do to invest in your
business? We'd love to hear about it in the comments, below. And look
for more posts about giving yourself--and your writing career--the
respect both of you deserve.
Happy writing!
--Meagan