I belive her

[kaco...@aol.com]

 

 

While my experience is far short of what of Christine Blasey Ford experienced, my recollection of a similar event is remarkably similar in smaller ways. Over fifty years ago when I was a graduate student in Champaign, Illinois I lived in an attic apartment. On the first floor was a friend I made from Northwestern University named Beth Pierpont.  Next door to her were two Nigerian students named Doc and Mike.  We both liked them.

 

One day Mike and Doc were visited by several other Nigerian students. A very big fellow asked if he could see my apartment. I naively said “Sure.”  He followed me the long narrow stairs and when we were in the apartment, he grabbed me. I was very, very frightened.  He said something awful I can’t remember and not knowing what to say, I awkwardly—and stupidly--told him I was “Shy.”There was no road map for this.

 

“There is no such thing as shy in my book,” he stupidly responded. I will never forget that.  As Dr. Blaseyy (can’t find the correct spelling) said, such trauma goes directly to the hippocampus. You never forget.

 

Somehow I broke free. He must have realized he shouldn’t continue.  I don’t know.

 

Once I was down on the first floor where the door to the Nigerian students’ apartment was probably open, he left my apartment. 

 

I trusted Mike and Doc, who’d always been friends, so I did tell them about this, unlike Dr. Blasey, and they said they would take care of it.  They wanted Nigerian students to always have a good reputation.  I never saw him again.

 

I watched the hearings intently and understand well how you will never forget such an assault.  Like her, had this happened somewhere in a small unfamiliar home on campus I would not be able to locate it.  I cannot remember telling Beth about this. I never told my parents or report this to the school. That didn't occur to me.  It should have been done.  But in those days the blame was placed only on the girls.  One of my professors chaired a student disciplinary committee and told us his committee had "kicked out" a girl who’d had sex with all the male students who waited in line outside the bedroom.  He shook his head in disgust at her behavior. The male students were not punished as far as I know. They did stay in schol.  I don’t remember ever talking about my experience to anyone.  What I remember vividly even now, five decades later, is what happened, even what was said. I feel sure it is accurate. I’ve never forgotten.

 

I also had witnesses to whom I did report the story.  I'd called and told my dear friend Howard, the gay Episcopal priest and college professor, then living in Chicago. He took the train to Champaign with another gay college friend and they stayed in my apartment the next day and night.  But they have both died, so there would be no witnesses with whom I discussed this.

 

Dr. Blasy’s trauma was very great compared to mine.  (As was Dick’s daughter.) But I know from this small experience how memory of a very frightening assault remains, sticks with you forever.  I also know that I didn’t tell anyone else, that there probably was shame in having been stupid but, really, more than that simply in having it happen.  Culture changes so slowly.   But it can change.

 

Kathy