Amusing stageplay, cant believe i got them back together like this

[Adam]

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Wed Apr 01 23 14 45 2009

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

ADAM
hi trip

TRIP
Adam!!

TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)

(ADAM hugs trip.)

TRIP
Yeah, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

TRIP
So come on in!

ADAM
wheres grace

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ADAM
no

ADAM
dont

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ADAM
shes a miserable bitch

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(ADAM knocks on the front door.)

(ADAM closes the front door.)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Adam,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? God it's been a while! -- (interrupted)

ADAM
hi grace

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look fabulous!

GRACE
Well, come on in, make yourself at home!

ADAM
trip can you shut the door

TRIP
Yeah, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
if there's one thing Grace is really passionate about, it's her
decorating...

GRACE
What? God,

GRACE
Adam, don't listen to him, it's just a hobby, really --

TRIP
No it's a real creative thing for you, it's really great, you get so
into it --

GRACE
No Trip there are things I am much more passionate about than
decorating, believe me.

GRACE
Ha ha, geez.

GRACE
Yeah, I'm hoping you can help -- (interrupted)

ADAM
like what, sex?

TRIP
Ha ha! Oh I think we're going to need some drinks first if we're
going to talk about sex.

GRACE
Trip, come on, that's not funny.

TRIP
(little sigh) Adam, -- (interrupted)

ADAM
ok make some nice ones

TRIP
Yeah, yeah.

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

GRACE
(little sigh) With this room I was trying for a kind -- (interrupted)

ADAM
use your bartender skills

GRACE
Oh, well...

GRACE
(little sigh) So I tried for a certain kind of style in this room...

GRACE
but it is clearly just not happening. This is a mess.

TRIP
uhh...

ADAM
no its not

TRIP
Well, it's impressive... even after a full day's work designing
magazine ads, Grace somehow finds time to decorate...

ADAM
it looks postmodern

GRACE
Uh, well, this room is a mess, isn't it?

TRIP
(little sigh) -- (interrupted)

ADAM
no

GRACE
Hmm...

GRACE
I'm sure I can return most of this, and try to start over again on
this room... -- (interrupted)

ADAM
it looks postmodern

TRIP
See, Grace, no one has a problem with your decorating, it's fine!

GRACE
Well, I plan to return most of this anyhow. This room needs to be
redone.

TRIP
(little sigh) -- (interrupted)

ADAM
ok

TRIP
Adam, yeah, Grace, nothing's wrong, everything's fine!

TRIP
Heh heh, Adam, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?

GRACE
Yes, it does. H-mmm (happy smile sound) -- (interrupted)

ADAM
stop wasting money redecorating

TRIP
Oh, well, uh, we've, uh... we've missed you.

TRIP
Whoa I just realized something!

GRACE
What...

TRIP
We have to celebrate! Tonight's a special night!

GRACE
What do you mean?

ADAM
that means drinks, right?

TRIP
Oh, ha ha, thanks --

GRACE
Adam, you're always so sweet to us. Isn't he sweet.

TRIP
(clears throat)

ADAM
am i?

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

TRIP
Adam, -- (interrupted)

ADAM
yeah

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, time for a drink.

TRIP
So, what's your poison?

TRIP
We should have something fun,

TRIP
like margaritas?

TRIP
Everybody tells me I fix the best drinks, so I'm sure you're gonna
love this.

GRACE
Trip, let's not go crazy with the drinks, okay?

ADAM
no trip

TRIP
Oh but we should enjoy ourselves tonight...!

GRACE
Trip that's not what he wants.

ADAM
youre a good bartender

GRACE
Adam, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

GRACE
Oh... huh... thanks...

TRIP
Well that's a nice thing to say. It's nice to hear, hmm, Grace?

ADAM
no i want a margerita

TRIP
You know what why I don't I just open a bottle of merlot and make it
easy.

GRACE
Yes, sometimes a simple glass of wine is better than those fancy
drinks you always insist on making.

TRIP
Grace, what can I get you to drink tonight? Surprise me.

GRACE
Um, Just a glass of Chardonnay for me, please.

TRIP
Oh, Chardonnay! Sure thing.

GRACE
(big sigh)

GRACE
Adam, you're not enjoying this are you?

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Trip, have you noticed, we're fighting in front of our friend. --
(interrupted)

ADAM
yes i am

TRIP
What...?

TRIP
Alright Grace, your drink is ready.

GRACE
Thank you.

ADAM
i like watching you fight

TRIP
Anyway...

TRIP
Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful... --
(interrupted)

TRIP
Wait...

TRIP
You think I'm...

TRIP
angry...

ADAM
no

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, oh, you're -- you're quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha...

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...

TRIP
Ha, never afraid to push our buttons, ha ha ha, heh... --
(interrupted)

ADAM
o rli?

TRIP
Here you go.

GRACE
Well, we're all friends here...

TRIP
Oh, Adam, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from
our recent trip to Italy.

(ADAM picks up a player's drink.)

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course
he'll like it!

TRIP
Grace, I know you don't like it, but our friend might.

GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like. --
(interrupted)

GRACE
Adam, this is making you uncomfortable. See Trip, was it really
worth it to fly us all the way to Italy so you could take that inane
picture?

(ADAM puts down a player's drink.)

GRACE
(little sigh) I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go
to bed.

TRIP
Grace...!

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

TRIP
Adam, this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon.

GRACE
Oh, was that what it was? Huh, I'm always the last to know.

TRIP
Grace, I wanted us to spend some time together...!

GRACE
Trip thinks carting me off to Europe will, how did you put it, thaw me
out a little bit?

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

ADAM
oh no

TRIP
Carting you off to Europe...

TRIP
Are -- what, w - what are you saying me, what?

GRACE
(impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)

ADAM
now comes the insane pain train

TRIP
Okay, yeah yeah, I hear you, alright?

GRACE
Goddamn second honeymoon...

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling!

TRIP
Oh, come on...!

ADAM
did you have lots of sex?

TRIP
Okay, you know what, Adam,

TRIP
I need to ask you something.

GRACE
Trip --

TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.

TRIP
Adam, yes or no...

TRIP
Marriage is about saying yes to the other person, even if you're not
sure about it, right?

ADAM
no

TRIP
What...?!

TRIP
Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine...

TRIP
Uhh, I try so hard to reach out to you, Grace, and you reject me!
You're cold! You're distant! I can't keep going this way, it's
killing me!

ADAM
you have to have some freedom

GRACE
Oh, that's great Trip!

GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get out of my sight!

GRACE
I can't stand you!

GRACE
Dammit, Trip!

ADAM
well commit suicide then

GRACE
uhh!

ADAM
that can kill you

GRACE
What are you saying? What?

(ADAM picks up a player's drink.)

TRIP
What? Are you talking about me in there?

GRACE
I wasn't talking about you!

ADAM
yes

GRACE
Adam, I can't believe you have to see this...

ADAM
were talking about you trip

GRACE
Adam, (annoyed sigh) Trip is sometimes so...

(ADAM puts down a player's drink.)

TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me, are we?

GRACE
What?

TRIP
Adam, look around this apartment. It's got everything anyone would
ever want. But, Grace, oh no, she's never satisfied.

ADAM
yes

GRACE
Trip, ... ugh ... I'm so sick of this.

ADAM
yeah how'd you walk through wall

TRIP
Look around here. We're doing well, really well.

GRACE
God, Trip, I can't believe even now you're still...

TRIP
Oh yeah, you'd never admit that I've created a good life for us.

GRACE
Dammit Trip!

ADAM
trip why is youre name so dumb

TRIP
Why?

GRACE
Adam, thank you, that helps him.

TRIP
Well, I -- I mean, this place, it... it -- it's everyone's dream,
right?

ADAM
you know i TRIPped over the door

TRIP
Jesus, Adam, you keep obsessing about Grace's stuff, you know
that? (frustrated sigh)

ADAM
no i dont

TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us. -- (interrupted)

ADAM
im obsessed with your dumb name

TRIP
Hey, no, it's just going to make this whole thing even worse if you
keep criticizing me!

TRIP
Ugh!

GRACE
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us.

TRIP
It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do
something nice for you, you resist it?

ADAM
are you going to go on a rampage?

GRACE
Trip...

TRIP
Like I always have to convince you?

GRACE
Adam, you know, we... uhh... -- (interrupted)

ADAM
trip dont become a psychopath

TRIP
No?

TRIP
It's just never easy with you, Grace, and it wears me down.

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

ADAM
are you going to explode trip?

TRIP
Adam, explain this to me!

ADAM
well

GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship.

GRACE
Adam, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage -- --
(interrupted)

ADAM
are you angry?

TRIP
Grace, don't, no, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhh, Adam, we already talked about that, am I wrong?

ADAM
yes

ADAM
so trip

GRACE
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us.

ADAM
have you had an affair?

TRIP
Aha!

GRACE
Oh God... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What is...? This is making no sense...

ADAM
have you had much sex?

TRIP
What? What is this? I'm confused.

GRACE
No, no no no no no, our -- our 'friend' is just trying to... to
confuse me or something...

GRACE
Uhh...

ADAM
no im not

GRACE
No?

GRACE
I can't... this is not... Adam, this... oh god...

ADAM
youre shit in bed

GRACE
Uhh...

ADAM
dont cry grace

TRIP
Aha!

GRACE
you're saying I'm... depressed?

ADAM
yes

GRACE
See, Adam, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Yes?

TRIP
Ah, good, well... well, what you're saying should help her...

ADAM
you look depressed?

GRACE
Adam, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Yes?

GRACE
Uhh, you... uhh... does anyone... uhh...

GRACE
Uhh...

ADAM
turn the creepy music off trip

GRACE
Look, why don't we talk about us, our relationship.

GRACE
You know, I... uhh... I really don't have anyone to talk to...

TRIP
Grace...!

ADAM
hows your marriage?

GRACE
Heh, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Look, if we're going to talk about marriage, all I can say is, it
doesn't turn out the way you expect it to.

TRIP
Grace...

GRACE
I'm not saying marriage is a bad idea or something, I'm just...
saying I think it's hard to predict what it will actually be like...

TRIP
Grace, no... -- (interrupted)

ADAM
why?

TRIP
Why?

GRACE
Ah, thank you, it helps us to hear that!

TRIP
Uhh, what?

GRACE
Trip, I just expected being married to be different, that's all...

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Okay, that's it, no more of this bullshit!!

ADAM
how so?

TRIP
Adam, I know what you're hinting at, okay?!

TRIP
about us...

TRIP
about our marriage...

TRIP
Do you really want the truth? Huh?

ADAM
yes

TRIP
Grace?

GRACE
Yes...!

TRIP
See, Adam, I've been paying attention to what you've been saying
tonight.

ADAM
i want the truth

TRIP
You've been pushing me tonight.

TRIP
It makes me wonder if you're really my friend or not.

GRACE
Trip!

TRIP
Adam, Quit interrupting me, let me speak!

TRIP
Adam, I ask you this -- yes or no...

TRIP
Do you really think that...

TRIP
praising me...

TRIP
praising Grace...

TRIP
criticizing me...

TRIP
saying that Grace is depressed...

TRIP
and worst of all,

TRIP
suggesting that Grace is cheating on me...

TRIP
and what you said about saying 'yes' to the other person...

TRIP
that we'll somehow realize something about our marriage?

TRIP
Is what you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow, to something?

TRIP
Is it? Just give me a yes or no.

ADAM
yes

TRIP
Okay.

TRIP
Grace...

ADAM
ct trip

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
I forced you to marry me, didn't I.

ADAM
calm the fuck down

TRIP
When I proposed to you, in front of your parents, on Christmas Eve,
and...

TRIP
I knew you wouldn't be capable of saying no.

ADAM
yeah you did you rotton bastard

GRACE
You manipulated me.

TRIP
Yes.

GRACE
And I never did anything about it.

GRACE
And here we are.

ADAM
you should have

TRIP
uhh...

ADAM
shoot him

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
Oh my God...!

TRIP
Adam, I --

GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
Trip...

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
In college... I was in love with someone else.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
An art major, named Vince.

TRIP
An art major named Vince --

GRACE
And...

ADAM
oh noes

GRACE
And I slept with him.

TRIP
Y -- y -- you what?

GRACE
The night before you proposed to me.

GRACE
I jinxed our marriage, Trip.

ADAM
oh SNAP

GRACE
I jinxed it. I'm sorry.

ADAM
FUCKING SNAPPED

GRACE
This is all my fault.

TRIP
Uhh... huhh... ho... wow... uhh...

TRIP
Uhh... I'm glad you finally told me.

TRIP
Jesus...!

TRIP
Okay, Adam, Grace, I have one more thing to say...

GRACE
Again?!

TRIP
Grace...

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
I'm -- I'm just... af -- afraid of... of being poor.

GRACE
Poor? Trip, we have so much! What do you --

TRIP
It never feels like enough!

TRIP
As a kid... it -- it was... My family was always on the edge.

GRACE
So you weren't rich, but --

TRIP
We even spent six months in a shelter once.

GRACE
Oh my God...!

TRIP
All of this stuff...

TRIP
Is a kind of protection from that ever happening again.

TRIP
uhh...

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
Oh my God...!

GRACE
This changes everything...

TRIP
Yeah.

TRIP
You feel like you ruined everything from the start...

GRACE
You... you're terribly afraid of being poor.

TRIP
I manipulated you into marrying me...

GRACE
No, I -- I let it happen...

TRIP
Adam, I --

GRACE
Adam, we...

TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk...

GRACE
Yeah.

TRIP
Adam, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.

ADAM
yes i did

ADAM
are you gonna pay me?

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
And no, Adam, you don't need to say anything more...

ADAM
i didnt even get my margerita

GRACE
And no, Adam, no more of that...

ADAM
you cheap bastard trip

ADAM
i saved your marriage

ADAM
you owe me

ADAM
big time

GRACE
Bye. Thanks.

ADAM
ill be back to call in a favour