somehow i found this stuff out.

[bananaboat]

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Fri Aug 17 22 21 12 2007

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

(Chris knocks on the front door.)

(Chris knocks on the front door.)

(Chris knocks on the front door.)

(Chris knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, she's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, she's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Chris!!

CHRIS
hey trip

(CHRIS hugs trip.)

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Yeah, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

TRIP
Well come on in!

CHRIS
where's grace

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

CHRIS
i have something to tell her

(CHRIS knocks on the front door.)

(CHRIS closes the front door.)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(CHRIS picks up the brass bull.)

(CHRIS puts down the brass bull.)

(CHRIS picks up the brass bull.)

(CHRIS puts down the brass bull.)

(CHRIS picks up the brass bull.)

(CHRIS puts down the brass bull.)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(CHRIS picks up the brass bull.)

GRACE
Chris,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? God it's been a while!

(CHRIS puts down the brass bull.)

(CHRIS kisses grace.)

GRACE
Oh, yes,

GRACE
mm-wah! (kiss on cheek)

CHRIS
i have something important to say

GRACE
How sweet.

CHRIS
maria

GRACE
Uh...

CHRIS
trip has had an affair

GRACE
Uh... (clears throat) um...

CHRIS
in barcelona

GRACE
Well, um... make yourself at home, I guess...

CHRIS
an affair with maria

TRIP
Heh heh, Chris, seeing you again makes me remember the good times
we all used to have.

GRACE
Yes...

CHRIS
did you fuck maria? trip answerme

TRIP
Wait...

TRIP
You think we should....

TRIP
have more sex...

CHRIS
definitely

TRIP
Ha ha, ha, oh, you're -- you're quite the kidder tonight, ha ha ha...

CHRIS
threesome

CHRIS
with maria

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

GRACE
(nervous coughing)

TRIP
god, I don't, um...

GRACE
wha...!

CHRIS
maria affair

TRIP
what...

GRACE
ha ha ha...

TRIP
ha ha...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
ha ha ha!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Chris,

CHRIS
admit to your affair trip

TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...

GRACE
heh heh...

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
You're not afraid to say anything, are you?

CHRIS
why not?

TRIP
push our little buttons...

(CHRIS hugs trip.)

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?

(CHRIS hugs grace.)

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
(big sigh)

CHRIS
drinks?

TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?

TRIP
Chris, let me get you a drink.

TRIP
Ah, you need to help me break in my expensive new set of cocktail
making accessories.

CHRIS
cocktails?

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, time for a drink.

TRIP
Martinis... Great idea! Classic!

CHRIS
mimosa please

TRIP
Perfect!

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Chris, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
What...?

CHRIS
grace drink vodka

TRIP
Oh, oh, yeah, that sounds even better! Great!

TRIP
Excellent! It won't take me more than a minute!

CHRIS
what wil;l grace drink?

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix us another drink in not too
long...

GRACE
So anyway,

GRACE
(little sigh) You know Trip, he never gets tired of making fancy
drinks for whoever will indulge him.

TRIP
Grace usually refuses to drink what I'm making, but tonight I get the
feeling she'll join us.

GRACE
I'm not in the mood to drink tonight.

GRACE
I just want a little sparkling water.

TRIP
Okay.

CHRIS
you should drink grace.

GRACE
So, Chris, you can help me understand where I went wrong with my
new decorating, ha ha.

TRIP
Grace, oh, no, we don't need to do that. -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
that painting is horrible!

TRIP
Alright Grace, your drink is ready.

GRACE
Thanks.

TRIP
Well hold on, hold on, take a closer look, give it a chance to soak in
a little.

GRACE
So, about my decorating...

CHRIS
the painting is ugly!

GRACE
Oh, well...

GRACE
(frustrated sigh) So this couch seemed like the right choice at the
time...

GRACE
but now I can see I should have chosen a simple, comfortable... love
seat.

TRIP
Oh, Grace...

CHRIS
the couch is out of place

GRACE
Ugh, the layout...

(CHRIS picks up a player's drink.)

GRACE
Uhh, what I wanted with this room was some kind of post-modern
style...

TRIP
There's nothing wrong with it...

CHRIS
it's ugly

GRACE
Oh, how nice, I've been waiting so long for someone to say that!

TRIP
Wait, what?

GRACE
Trip, our friend has just been refreshingly honest about my
decorating, which I really appreciate. -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
well i'm a proffesional

(CHRIS puts down a player's drink.)

GRACE
Uhh, um, well, I'm really pleased to finally hear someone's honest
opinion.

GRACE
but it is clearly not happening at all. This is such a mess.

TRIP
(little impatient sigh) Grace, it looks fine...

GRACE
(big sigh)

GRACE
Oh God, Chris, I hope you didn't come here tonight to be
entertained...

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Listen to us, we're arguing in front of our friend.

TRIP
Grace, come on, that kind of statement is not helpful...

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing.

TRIP
We're -- we're -- we're not disagreeing.

CHRIS
i'm entertained

TRIP
What...?

TRIP
Oh, Chris, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from
our recent trip to Italy. -- (interrupted)

(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
how is the sex?

TRIP
Ha ha ha! Oh I think we're going to need a few more drinks if we're
going to talk about sex.

GRACE
Trip, better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot.

(CHRIS sits on the couch.)

(CHRIS gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
(clears throat)

(CHRIS picks up a player's drink.)

TRIP
Chris, Come take look at this!

GRACE
God, this evening is getting more exhilarating by the minute...

(CHRIS puts down a player's drink.)

GRACE
(little sigh)

(CHRIS picks up a player's drink.)

(CHRIS puts down a player's drink.)

GRACE
Chris, this is making you uncomfortable. See Trip, was it really
worth it to fly us all the way to Italy so you could take that inane
picture?

GRACE
(little sigh) I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go
to bed.

TRIP
Grace...!

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

CHRIS
the picture sucks

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
Trip, Trip, it's alright, our friend is just giving you a bit of a
hard time tonight, you're a man, you can take it.

TRIP
(clears throat) We're so ready for a second round of drinks.

GRACE
Trip thinks carting me off to Europe will, how did you put it, thaw me
out a little bit? -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
vodka!

GRACE
Okay, well, you and I are getting along better tonight than I first
thought!

CHRIS
can we have some more drinks!

TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!

TRIP
Your... goddamn decorating...

TRIP
You're never satisfied with anything! You're never happy, never ever
satisfied with anything.

GRACE
(impatient sigh) Chris, -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
because it's all fake

TRIP
What? I -- w - what are you saying to me, what?

TRIP
Goddamn... cussing...

TRIP
Grace, I -- I just want to be together, and be happy, can you just --
(interrupted)

CHRIS
fake lives

TRIP
Okay, look, I hear you, I hear you...

TRIP
Goddamn manipulation...

(CHRIS sits on the couch.)

TRIP
Grace, I -- I just want to be together, and be happy, can you just see
that?

GRACE
Oh, yeah, yeah, right!

TRIP
Can't we just do that?

TRIP
Alright, you know what, Chris,

CHRIS
relax trip.

TRIP
I need to ask you something.

(CHRIS gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Trip --

TRIP
Grace, let me ask our guest a question.

TRIP
Chris, yes or no...

TRIP
It's okay for a married... person, to talk and be friendly with
someone of the opposite sex, right?

GRACE
What?

CHRIS
rarely

TRIP
Look, don't bother answering, I don't need to hear it!

TRIP
Uhh, Grace, I love you, you're my wife, I love you, and you... are
accusing me of... I don't know what, what are you accusing me of? I
love you, don't you know that?!

GRACE
Oh, I can't believe...!

CHRIS
did you have an affair?

GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, get out of my sight!

GRACE
I can't stand you!

(CHRIS hugs grace.)

GRACE
Dammit, Trip!

(CHRIS hugs grace.)

GRACE
No, don't, please...

TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?

(CHRIS picks up the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
I wasn't talking about you!

GRACE
Chris, I can't believe you have to see this...

(CHRIS puts down the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
uhh...

CHRIS
how about the parents

(CHRIS hugs grace.)

GRACE
Chris, in -- in what you said before, about flirting... I think that
tells us something about Trip.

TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me, are we?

GRACE
What?

CHRIS
trip is having an affair?

GRACE
Ah!

TRIP
Heh, hey... heh heh heh, hey, no no no, don't -- don't try to... don't
-- don't to try accuse me of -- of -- of anything with Maria...

GRACE
Oh God...

TRIP
No -- no, no, Grace, don't, don't even about think that -- look, look
--

CHRIS
i know about maria

TRIP
look, our -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhh, Chris, we went over that already, didn't we?

CHRIS
in barcelona

GRACE
Let's continue focusing on Trip.

GRACE
Chris, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --

CHRIS
what about vivian?

TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --

GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --

TRIP
Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh)

CHRIS
what about the marriage?

TRIP
Marriage, well... heh... you know, it's sad, or maybe funny, I...
uhh... I always thought marriage would be easy!

GRACE
What?

TRIP
Yeah, I always thought marriage was supposed be this great thing that
you'd just be happy and... and...

TRIP
and... well, happy... or at least just easier than this!

TRIP
No, look, it's now painfully obvious to me I didn't know jack --
(interrupted)

CHRIS
marriage is never easy

TRIP
Christ, Chris, you keep bringing that same topic up, you know
that? (frustrated sigh)

CHRIS
what about your parents?

GRACE
Trip, why can't you be more like your parents? They're real.

TRIP
Yeah, real tacky.

TRIP
Chris, Grace has always enjoyed slumming. That's why she likes
visiting them.

(CHRIS picks up a trinket 1.)

GRACE
I can't believe you. Trip, are you that shallow?

CHRIS
what is this?

GRACE
All this stuff... mmm... Having all this money makes us so happy.
We're so happy, aren't we Trip?

TRIP
Jesus, what do you want! Now you're unhappy because we're too well
off?

TRIP
Chris, -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
yopu are not happy.

GRACE
No?

GRACE
Chris, thank you. That helps me. Trip, see, I don't want all this
stuff! -- (interrupted)

(CHRIS puts down a trinket 1.)

(CHRIS comforts grace.)

GRACE
Oh, Chris, thanks, but, what we need right now is to just get all
this out in the open...

TRIP
Let's keep our focus on Grace.

GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid
trips I have to go on..

TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that!

GRACE
Of course nobody thinks to ask me what I want.

CHRIS
you should get therapy

TRIP
Aha!

GRACE
Chris, You think we should see a .... therapist?

TRIP
Grace, maybe a therapist could help us figure out why we always fight
about visiting my parents. -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
a couples therapist

GRACE
Uhh, Chris, I think we discussed that already... (frustrated
sigh)

CHRIS
how about more drinks

TRIP
Chris, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?

TRIP
Let's keep the focus on us, not just one person.

GRACE
I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he
can to avoid seeing them.

TRIP
Afraid of my parents?! My parents are idiots.

GRACE
No, it's true...

CHRIS
grace's parents?

GRACE
Uhh, my parents... uhh, they're the worst... they really screwed me
up...

TRIP
Oh give me a break! They spoiled you!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
No, look, Grace, your parents are generous, successful, respectable
--

GRACE
Uncaring, selfish, in their own little country club world... they're
pathetic, really...

TRIP
Oh Christ.

CHRIS
what about worK?

TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work, and even
though you redecorate the apartment all the time, the truth is...
you're not an artist.

GRACE
Uhh...!

TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.

GRACE
Chris, uhh...

CHRIS
who is vivian?

TRIP
Who?

GRACE
Chris, you see, this is what I've had to put up with, for ten goddamn
years.

GRACE
Chris, explain this to me!

(CHRIS hugs grace.)

TRIP
Jesus, Chris, quit it with that stuff!

TRIP
Let's continue focusing on Grace.

CHRIS
grace, you are using trip as an exc

TRIP
Grace, I don't think you really do want us to quit our jobs, lead a
simpler lifestyle.

GRACE
What? Trip, you know what I --

TRIP
Oh come on! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't
live any other way.

TRIP
No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.

TRIP
It's so annoying... Grace, why is it that anytime I want to do
something nice for you, you resist it?

CHRIS
what about work?

GRACE
Trip...

TRIP
Like I always have to convince you?

GRACE
Chris, you know, we... uhh...

CHRIS
who did you meet in italy?

TRIP
I tried to give Grace the best during our Italy vacation. The best
hotels, the best food...

GRACE
Do you hear yourself, Trip? The only thing you care about a vacation
is that it's 'the best'.

TRIP
Ugh!

CHRIS
people in italy. vivian.

GRACE
God, Chris, can we just stop talking about Trip's stuff,
please? (frustrated sigh)

CHRIS
grace's stuff.

GRACE
Look, why don't we talk about us, our relationship.

GRACE
Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and
fine wine...

TRIP
You think I'm not good enough...!

GRACE
I never said that! I'm saying there's more to you than all this...

CHRIS
do you like cigars?

TRIP
Yes?

GRACE
Chris, thank you, that helps us. Trip, I know that you like to
hang out at the little sports bar on the corner.

TRIP
What... what -- n -- no... I, I -- I mean...

GRACE
Trip, it's alright.

TRIP
Uhh... oh...

TRIP
Okay, that's it, no more of this bullshit!!

CHRIS
what sports bar?

TRIP
Chris, I know what you're trying to hint at...

TRIP
about us...

TRIP
about our lifestyle...

TRIP
Do you two want the truth? Huh?

TRIP
Chris, do you want to hear it? -- (interrupted)

CHRIS
tell us the truth.

TRIP
No, Chris, just, yes or no, do you want the truth?

CHRIS
yes.

TRIP
Grace?

GRACE
Yes...!

TRIP
Chris, see I've actually been paying close attention to what you've
been saying.

TRIP
You've really been pushing me tonight.

TRIP
And I wonder, are you really my friend or not.

GRACE
Trip!

TRIP
Chris, I ask you this -- yes or no...

TRIP
Do you really think that...

TRIP
criticizing Grace...

TRIP
criticizing me...

TRIP
and worst of all,

TRIP
suggesting that I'm cheating on Grace...

TRIP
that we're supposed to now understand something about ourselves from
all that?

CHRIS
yes.

TRIP
Right.

TRIP
Grace...

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
See... I'm... ashamed of my parents.

GRACE
What!? Your parents are great.

GRACE
I love seeing them...

TRIP
I know, I know. But compared to yours... they're so ... ignorant.

GRACE
But they're real. I hate how my parents are pretending to be something
--

TRIP
I've tried hard to be like your family --

GRACE
Trip... really? ... I don't --

TRIP
But I feel like a phony. I feel like I can never get rid of my past.

TRIP
It's kind of like I don't know who I am anymore.

TRIP
uhh...

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
Oh my God...!

TRIP
Chris, I --

GRACE
I'm going to give you the truth too, Trip.

TRIP
What?!

GRACE
Trip...

GRACE
Through our whole marriage... I've let you dominate me.

TRIP
Dominate you...? What? I don't --

(CHRIS sits on the couch.)

GRACE
As a kid my parents took care of everything, bought me whatever I
wanted...

(CHRIS picks up a trinket 1.)

GRACE
made decisions for me.

TRIP
But Grace --

GRACE
Trip -- I've used you -- and our apartment full of expensive crap --
to hide.

GRACE
to hide.

GRACE
To avoid responsibility for myself.

(CHRIS puts down a trinket 1.)

TRIP
Oh, come on, don't --

GRACE
I can't avoid growing up forever, Trip.

TRIP
Jesus...

GRACE
uhh...

(CHRIS gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Jesus...!

TRIP
Chris, I, uhh...

CHRIS
did you have an affair then?

TRIP
This changes everything...

GRACE
Yes, it does change everything.

GRACE
I think it's over.

TRIP
Grace, what --

GRACE
No!!

CHRIS
what happens now?

GRACE
It's over, Trip, don't you see that?

(CHRIS kisses grace.)

TRIP
Wha... I -- I just told you --

(CHRIS kisses grace.)

GRACE
You just told me something about us you should have said a long time
ago:

(CHRIS kisses grace.)

(CHRIS kisses grace.)

GRACE
You're really ashamed of your past... and you wish you had mine...

(CHRIS kisses grace.)

GRACE
And no, Chris, hold on...

GRACE
And about me...

GRACE
>From the beginning, I've let you control me.

(CHRIS hugs trip.)

TRIP
Grace, I --

GRACE
No, Trip, this about me, and it's about us, but it's not about you...

(CHRIS comforts trip.)

TRIP
Not about me...? Hey, no, wait!

GRACE
And no, Chris, please, it's okay...

(CHRIS hugs grace.)

GRACE
Chris, I'm sorry. Thank you, though, you really helped me.

(CHRIS hugs grace.)

(CHRIS knocks on the front door.)

(CHRIS opens the front door.)

TRIP
Grace!

(Grace closes the front door.)

TRIP
Grace!!

TRIP
Jesus Christ...

CHRIS
where will sghe go?

TRIP
I should have told her that...

TRIP
I -- I could have told her that...

CHRIS
what trip?