When you gotta go

[GS]

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Fri Jul 31 04 52 17 2009

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

(Amy knocks on the front door.)

(Amy knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
That should be -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhp, she's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, she's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Amy!!

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted)

AMY
Hey

TRIP
Great!

TRIP
Ha ha ha!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

TRIP
Well come on in!

AMY
So, where's Grace?

TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

AMY
Hey Grace!

GRACE
Amy,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time! -- (interrupted)

(AMY hugs grace.)

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

AMY
Hey Grace

GRACE
And -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Oh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.

GRACE
Make yourself at home, come on in!

AMY
Graceful as always

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Ah, you'll be the first to sample from my new set of imported drinking
glasses.

AMY
You have matching pants.

TRIP
How about a martini?

TRIP
Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Amy, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
What...?

AMY
How about fresh blood?

TRIP
You know what why I don't I just open a bottle of merlot and make it
easy.

AMY
Close enough.

GRACE
Yes, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh, well, merlot will be fine, that's fine...

TRIP
Grace, I assume you want your usual... 'a lovely, very cold glass of
Chardonnay'.

GRACE
The merlot sounds fine.

TRIP
Oh! Good. Okay.

GRACE
Amy, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all
used to have.

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

TRIP
Ha ha, yeah...

TRIP
Here Grace, I poured you the first glass.

AMY
Like that threesome?

TRIP
uh... ha heh heh...

GRACE
uh...!

TRIP
geez, I'm not, uh...

AMY
been a while huh?

GRACE
wha...!

TRIP
well...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha, heh...

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Amy,

GRACE
heh heh heh...

TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

AMY
We could do it again sometime.

TRIP
You're not afraid to say anything, are you?

TRIP
push our little buttons...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?

TRIP
ha ha...

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway, uh... what were we talking about?

AMY
So how have you been?

GRACE
So, Amy, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong
with my new decorating, ha ha.

(Trip sips his player's drink.)

(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)

AMY
Everything.

GRACE
Oh, um, well... I want to ask you...

GRACE
(little sigh) You know, when I saw this armoire on the show floor, I
thought it had such a clean, simple look to it...

TRIP
It's a nice choice.

GRACE
but looking at it here in the apartment, it just looks like...

GRACE
(little sigh) a monstrosity!

TRIP
uhh...

(AMY hugs grace.)

GRACE
Oh, heh, you're hugging me...

TRIP
Oh, that's nice of you. Grace, aren't you glad we invited her over?
-- (interrupted)

(AMY hugs trip.)

TRIP
Oh, uh, you're hugging me...

GRACE
That's kind of you, I'm sure Trip's happy to get that.

TRIP
(clears throat)

TRIP
See Grace, no one is complaining about your decorating, there's
nothing wrong with it! -- (interrupted)

AMY
He doesn't normally get it?

TRIP
Amy, no, Grace, nothing's wrong, everything's fine!

AMY
Lets die together.

GRACE
(big -- (interrupted)

AMY
Or not.

GRACE
Let's get the um... the um...

GRACE
Oh we need to make sure we -- we look at... uh...

TRIP
Yeah, yeah...

GRACE
that air pressure thing under the sink, heh...

AMY
Where's my drink?

TRIP
it needs to be reconnected or something...

GRACE
Oh, right! Right! Yeah...

GRACE
(long release sigh)

GRACE
yeah...

TRIP
Oh, Amy, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from
our recent trip to Italy.

GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course
she'll like it!

TRIP
Grace, I know you don't like it, but our friend might.

GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.

TRIP
Um... uhh, Now, -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Amy, this is making you uncomfortable. See Trip, was it really
worth it to fly us all the way to Italy so you could take that inane
picture?

(AMY sits on the couch.)

GRACE
(little sigh) I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go
to bed.

TRIP
Grace...!

TRIP
(short petulant sigh)

TRIP
Amy, this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon.

GRACE
Oh, was that what it was? Huh, I'm always the last to know.

TRIP
Grace, I wanted us to spend some time together...!

GRACE
Trip thinks carting me off to Europe will, how did you put it, thaw me
out a little bit?

TRIP
Ahh, this is bullshit!

GRACE
Ahh, no, you're full of shit!

GRACE
Thaw me out...

GRACE
Trip, you think you're so romantic... but no you're trying to
manipulate me!

TRIP
(little impatient sigh) -- (interrupted)

AMY
Hey

GRACE
What, what are you saying?

TRIP
Goddamn... cussing...

AMY
Can I use the bathroom?

TRIP
Grace, I -- I just want to be together, and be happy, can you just see
that? -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Yeah, okay, okay, again with that, yeah, okay...

GRACE
Goddamn second honeymoon...

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling!

(AMY gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Oh, god...!

AMY
Where's the bathroom?

GRACE
Alright, you know what, Amy,

GRACE
I need to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

GRACE
Amy, yes or no...

AMY
I kinda need to pee.

GRACE
In a marriage, shouldn't you try to help the other person get what
they want?

AMY
yes

TRIP
What...?!

TRIP
Oh, yeah, that's fine... that's fine...

AMY
So, um

AMY
toilet?

TRIP
Uhh, I try so hard to reach out to you, Grace, and you reject me!
You're cold! You're distant! I can't keep going this way, it's
killing me!

GRACE
Oh, don't even...!

AMY
I need to pee

GRACE
Uhh! Yeah, good, go away!

GRACE
I can't take you anymore!

GRACE
Dammit, Trip!

AMY
Anyone?

GRACE
What? What are you saying?

TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?

GRACE
What do you care?

AMY
I need to pee

GRACE
Amy, we're not normally like this, I don't know what's going on...

GRACE
uhh...

AMY
It's okay, but where's the bathroom?

TRIP
Amy, from what you said before, about saying yes... I think that
tells us something about Grace.

GRACE
Oh, we're talking about me, are we?

TRIP
What?

TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work,

TRIP
the truth is... you're not an artist.

GRACE
Uhh...!

AMY
I'll find it myself then.

GRACE
Amy, you see, this is what I've had to put up with, for ten goddamn
years.

TRIP
Amy, where are you? Don't run off, you need to help us deal with
this!

AMY
Is the bathroom back here?

GRACE
Amy, explain this to me!

TRIP
Look, let's talk about us both, not just one of us.

GRACE
You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'!

TRIP
What...?

GRACE
Trip, it is such an act! -- (interrupted)

AMY
You don't have a bathroom?

TRIP
No?

TRIP
Thank you, you disagree, that helps us! See, Grace, you twist it into
something bad! It's so typical!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

TRIP
Let's keep the focus on us, not just one person.

GRACE
Amy, -- (interrupted)

(AMY picks up a martini glass 1.)

TRIP
Amy, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?

TRIP
Let's keep the focus on us, not just one person.

(AMY puts down a martini glass 1.)

TRIP
You know, I can't say Grace never acts loving towards me...

TRIP
Amy, She's all over me at our goddamn parties, trying to look good in
front of the guests!

AMY
No I'm not.

GRACE
No?

GRACE
Uhh...

GRACE
Look, let's switch the focus to Trip.

TRIP
Amy, you know, it's weird to me, when I'm on a business trip, Grace
never calls me, ever!

GRACE
Uhh...

TRIP
She says she's afraid to call me!

AMY
Fine, I'm going to leave.

AMY
I need to pee

GRACE
It's just a feeling Trip, I can't explain it...

TRIP
Well how do you think that makes me feel? -- (interrupted)

(AMY knocks on the front door.)

(AMY opens the front door.)

TRIP
Amy, come on, don't run away! You started this mess, you need --
(interrupted)

(AMY points to the elevator button.)

(AMY points to the elevator button.)