I knew I would Fail – Introspection versus Optimism
Sanjeev Himachali
I knew I would Fail – Introspection versus Optimism
I have always believed that I am my best judge. Good, bad,
average or worse, people may assess me by my attitude or whatever they see and
believe, but I know from where I have begun or how far I have come from the initial
stage. It is true for everyone. We are often judged from our one act or
behavior. How you behaved with an auto-rickshaw driver or with shopkeeper or
with your customer or a restaurant manager, etc., make them carry the same
impression about you. They will not be around to know or understand your other
side. Sometimes you also know that you didn’t give your best. You behave
impolitely or uncouthly with someone because your boss had screamed at you or
because you were disturbed by your girlfriend or because you weren’t keeping
too well or whatever might be the case, should it really matter to that person?
Should you feel saddened if that person yells back at you for not understanding
you? You shouldn’t because you got what you have given. However, there is no
harm in being optimistic or being hopeful and expect that person to be nice to you
even if you were bad-mannered and callous. You know what you did, however, you still can
be optimistic and hopeful to be treated well and yet if you get it back you shouldn’t
feel sad.
Link to the story: http://diaryofsanjeev.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-knew-i-would-fail-introspection.html
Now let’s discuss three situations that are very apparent in our life when it comes to exam, job and relationship.
You are appearing for your graduation exams. You haven’t
prepared well for all subjects for various reasons; you were not keeping good
health or you had other personal or professional commitments. You know that you
could have done it better but you couldn’t. You can still be optimistic and
hope that maybe others did worse than you; however, if you still fail in your
attempt to pass the exam, it should not bother you because you knew it. Why it
should leave you shocked, sad and hurt?
At workplace, you are ill-equipped to do your job properly
because you do not possess adequate knowledge or you are not properly trained
or perhaps you overstated your past experience. Only you know the real reason
of your lackluster performance; even though, you can blame your boss or
ambiguous company policies or lack of insufficient infrastructure, etc., for
your poor performance. You can also hope that in the shadow of your good and
caring behavior and nice attitude, your poor performance will get ignored.
However, if it gets highlighted and results into final ultimatum or termination
from your job, should you get shattered and find it unacceptable? You knew what
you were doing. Others were doing badly too or were doing worse than you is not
a good enough justification as why your poor performance shall be ignored or,
for that matter, be rewarded.
You were into a relation, where you were not honest to your
partner or spouse. You lied for various reasons, primarily for your own selfish
interests, such as; you were scared to lose that person or were unprepared to
convey the truth. Whatever your reasons being, but you knew the truth. You were
optimistic and hopeful that other person won’t be able to find it out before an
appropriate time. However, when your partner became aware of the truth and
broke-off the relation, should you feel sad, hurt and cheated? You shouldn’t, actually.
You knew it was coming. All you could do is delay the inevitable and you did
that. Relations that are based on the foundation of dishonesty can never
survive the storm of time and will ultimately die. You can only pray for its
survival.
Optimism is good as long as you believe in miracles to
happen in such situations. You may be
able to survive a poor performance or a dishonest relation. However, in case
the poor performances of yours get highlighted or if your lie is caught then
you are at the mercy of other person to grant or not to grant you another
chance. You are not authorized to demand. And, just in case, if you get another
chance, use it as an opportunity to improve your performance or to work towards
strengthening your relation rather than finding out new and innovative excuses
or ways to hide the truth.
I am not pessimistic. However, I am aware that only I know
the truth of my life as you know about your life. You can fool the entire world
but not yourself.
Link to the story: http://diaryofsanjeev.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-knew-i-would-fail-introspection.html
Your feedback and comments are welcomed.
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