ready to be over it

[MDH]

Hello all,
I am new to the group. I have been searching for some support groups
and this seems to be the place! It's been over a year since my
boyfriend and I broke up. He and I had a pretty bad breakup, and very
quickly after it he was involved with a new person, whom he is still
with today. Unfortunately, to this day I still find it hard to let
him go and get on with my life. Although I have made some major
personal transformations and regularly talk to a counselor for outside
help, I can tell my self-confidence is not quite "all the way there"
and still have so many things I want to say to him. I hate to admit
that I am still unable to let go of him without sounding completely
pathetic. Is there something someone can suggest?

Sincerely,
Ready to be over it

[Ms. Miller]

Hello, Ready. In my experience, all the things we want to say to the
person who hurt us (good or bad), won't bring us solace. However, I
am all about getting it out. Write it down, but never give it to
him. Ever. Write it down and then burn it up in the fireplace, char
it on the barbecue or destroy it in a shredder. Repeat as necessary.
It's good to purge it, but giving it to him (or even saying it to him)
is just giving him your power. Next time you are in a Barnes and
Noble, see if they have a copy of A Sassy Little Guide to Getting Over
Him and quickly read Step 8 (you don't need to buy it, just read that
section). Don't let what you want to say to him hold you to him. Get
it out and let it go. You deserve to move on and be happy.

I hope other members will share their advice, too. I wish you all the
best.

Cheers,
Sandra