Ahh, Christmas Time Again.....
gaynewen...@gmail.com
this weeks addition of Uncles Holiday celebration. Through gift, giving
ideas, along with Uncles traditional reading of a classic; reworked
Uncle Mikey style. As this week is full, let's get right to it.
Uncle worked to give you the best leads on shopping this holiday
season, and some got to have Items for the queers at this festive time
of year. You know, as Uncle is a multi-tasker, I feel as though I truly
did my part here. As not a political advocate, Uncle has decided to do
his part this holiday season by supporting gay businesses, and goods.
While, I am styling, I shall be making my statement and show of support
to the cause. God, I feel so patriotic right now. It might even be the
flag thong, Uncle received from a dear admirer. The flag is a raising
kittens.
Top Ten Shopping Ideas for the season of Christmas. Not since mosses
himself came off the mountain with tablets in hand, has such
information been gathered in one place. Consider this your Ten
Commandments of retail this season. The retail Gods did smile on Uncle
this week and gave valuable information to help in the endless search
of that perfect gift.
10: www.Baskettudellc.com-Here you can find personalized Gift baskets.
Wonderful for the social giving to coworkers, and maybe even that
grinch of a boss of yours.
Nine: www.Family-connections.com-The collection of distinctive Gifts
for the queer in your life. Hey, you might even find something for
yourself.
Eight: www.amazon.com -Uncle has told you of this before, and continues
his own personal campaign to ensure that every queer alive sees the
following. "Unconditional Love" A must have item for the queer couple
in love. Snuggle up and watch Rupert Everett (Uncles secret crush) Fill
you with laughter, tears, and lust.
Seven: www.Adlbooks.com -A large collection of Photo books of Queer
life, and form. Must have Items. The girls will even find must have
Items here this year.
Six: www.cafepress.com -Wide variety of pride items. Uncle recommends
the holiday ornaments of Gay pride. These make personal gifts that
friends will cherish for years to come.
Five: www.gaymart.com -It was only a matter of time Kittens. Here you
will find every day items and more. Splashed with gay pride and full of
delight for your loved ones.
Four: www.kleptomaniac.com -Uncles favorite item here is a charming
three band beaded bracelet. Perfect for that friend on your list, and
goes with club wear as well.
Three: www.gayonlineshopping.net -Well, what can I say. So many
outlets, all together in one place. The Item, which Uncle is
recommending here, is the Calvin Klein Pro-stretch Jockstrap. What?
Don't look so surprised; even Old queens have their moments.
Two: www.mondera.com -Here the finest of taste for fine quality Jewelry
can be satisfied. Uncle has his eye on a rock this season.
One: Here it is Kittens, Uncles number one Pick for this season.
Couldn't you just spit?
www.internationalmale.com-Yes, that is right Kittens. Fashion, and it
is here. Uncles pick this season, and number one on his wish list can
be found here among the many must have Items. An elegant evening Fur,
for the inner queen. (White Santa) Can't you just see Uncle in this
master piece?
Well, Kittens, there you go. It is not the traditional Top ten lists
this season; it is the Top ten of fabulous gift giving. Unique,
diverse, while scrumptious just like Uncle likes it. So get out there
and buy, tell them Uncle Mikey sent you! Your friends and loved ones
will be thrilled with these items. Everyone can give a gift, but it
takes a queen to give a gift that will have them talking throughout
Queerdom.
Uncle wanted to give you all a gift this season that will bring you
enjoyment. Uncle is known for bringing enjoyment to the masses.
Therefore, with this thought in mind, Uncle devised a way in which he
could give a gift that would be memorable, special and unique all in
one. Queerdom, this is for you.
(Uncle sitting in his overstuffed chair in front of a cozy fire place,
and drink in hand.) What is it Uncle is drinking Kittens? Ah, very
good, you all have paid attention. It is none other than that Blue
sweet release itself; Blue Kamikaze. Uncle cannot recommend this drink
enough. Where is Delight with that pitcher anyway? Mr. Tiddles purring
and snuggled in place, let us settle in for a story this season. A
story, which took place somewhere else the night before Christmas.
Gather round Kittens, while Uncle reads to you all.
T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the club,
Not a queen was dancing not even the chub,
I at the bar, night cap in hand, He with his hag-all was right in the
land
We had all settled in while waiting for the band.
All of a sudden the room it did shutter, first a noise; something was a
flutter
I sprang to my feet as quick as a queen, while making my way to the
scene
Arriving among the boys and lesbians too, we looked out at the dance
floor.
Than we saw him, it was Saint Nick, and he matched the decor
He did look merry all fairylike in nature, complete with body Glitter
Leather pants, satin shirt, I was sure his Mrs. must be bitter
His skin was tan; his eyes did twinkle along at his side an elf named
Rick
I think I even saw a pride bracelet on old Saint Nick.
The elf was packing, as a bag he did hold, Filled with Gifts and
treasures untold
The entire crowd smiled in awe, as we waited our gifts to behold,
Old Nick pulled out his list and gave us a wink,
We won't fiddle with this; quick get me a drink,
One loud queen screamed, Santa, baby wants Mink.
He gave us our gifts and kisses, for all good boys and lesbians too
It seemed Santa had came out once and for all; he decided to be true
The club was alive as the boys did giggle, the girls laughed aloud, as
it became clear
It seemed this Christmas was year of the queer!
Than before I knew it quick as a flash, the night had passed and the
morning was neigh,
I looked quick as not miss him, I wanted to say good-bye,
The crowd did fall silent, as we watched him; I let out a sigh,
He stood there with his elf named Rick, He looked it seemed me right in
the eye,
With a snap and a twist, I knew it was good-bye
While all in Queerdom could hear his words full of cheer
He laughed with the gang and said in delight, as he disappeared from
our sight
Merry Christmas to all and to all a trick tonight... Ho Ho Ho
That is the story they didn't want you all to know. I mean come on, a
man living with merry little men, who enjoys crafts? It was a matter of
time. I hear if you go to the North Pole, you can hear I will survive
echoing in the snow-filled land. Mrs. Clause was merely a drag queen
named earl.
Well, Kittens, it is that time again. Alas, Uncle must push on and make
his way through another week of life. Uncle will return next week with
more advice for all of you seekers out there in Queerdom.
Remember Kittens: Holiday cheer may come once a year, but the queer
comes all year...
Until we meet again-Holiday smooches from Uncle Mikey and Tiddles too...