Fwd: Sandy Karn Article Submission

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From: Sandy Karn <execdi...@profnet.org>
Date: Wed, Sep 30, 2015 at 2:06 AM
Subject: Sandy Karn Article Submission
To: Editor list <execdi...@profnet.org>


*  The High I, Influencing Style Parent or Teacher.
by Sandy Karn

Looking at the DISC Communications System of relating to others, we find that it's not
that difficult to see how different behavioral styles will trigger conflict. There are times
when each core behavioral style will have a tendency to express their natural style that
can truly rub people the wrong way.

Your job is to determine, as best you can, the behavioral styles of your children and your
students. Let's begin with a High I, Influencing type parent or teacher relating to the
children in their environment.

* The strengths of High D children:

High D children have a lot of confidence in themselves. They can't easily be pushed into
doing something they don't want to do, and they're not easily side-tracked.

As a High I, influencer, you'll be proud of High D children, and will enjoy bragging about
them. You'll even enjoy sharing the spotlight with them. Both of you want to look like
winners, are activity-oriented, and are confident people.

* Struggles with High D children:

One of your struggles as an influencing, interactive parent/teacher is that you want to be
liked by your children, and have a tendency to become too permissive. While High D
children want freedom, they still need well-defined boundaries.

* Your strategies for High D children:

It's important to set clearly defined boundaries, and stick to them. When rules are broken,
it's important to firmly follow through with your already clearly-defined consequences,
and discipline accordingly.

It's also important to remember that High D children tend to take advantage of any
inconsistency or lack of follow up on your part. You can expect confrontation, so don't be
afraid of it.

I know from personal experience, that keeping your comments short when disciplining, is
important. They don't need lengthy explanations. Brief is better. Give them one word
commands, and it will go a long way to support your relationship with them.

* Strengths of High I parents and teachers relating to High I children:

You'll give a lot of compliments to each other, enjoy relating, and have fun! You have no
trouble forgiving others for the mistakes they make.

* Struggles that you'll have as High I's:

Both of you tend to live your lives emotionally. It's possible you could compete with each
other, trying to get the attention of others.

Both of you can easily be impulsive, and you frequently don't follow through on your
responsibilities. When this happens, it can become a major family problem.

* Strategies to communicate better with High I children :

You'll want to listen to your High I children, but still don't be overly permissive with
them  If you do, it won't help them to get better at taking personal responsibility.

Since you and your High I children aren't excited about details, it's a good idea to write
down who's responsible for what, so there's no misunderstandings about that down the
road to cause more conflicts. It's important to make the boundaries you set with consistent
discipline, in order for them to grow up to be a competent, responsible adult.

* Strengths of your High S children:

Since the High I parent/teacher likes to talk, and the High S child really enjoys listening,
this combination of behaviors works very well together.

* Struggles with High S children:

I know that you, as a High I parent/teacher, like the faster pace. Noise and confusion don't
bother you, and you get jazzed with quick change and spontaneity, but please remember
that High S children totally prefer a much slower pace. They like things quiet, and do not
like change. They prefer planned change and enjoy routines a lot more.

* Strategies with High S children:

Slow down your talking. Let them respond at their slower pace, giving them more time to
make their decisions about things. Gear down any compliments to them in front of others.
Not doing that for them could be embarrassing to them.

Give them a heads up in front of any change you want to make. Ask more questions
instead of telling, and listen well to their answers. Ask for their help to get things done.
They love the feeling that their contributions are valued.

* Strengths of High C children:

Here's an opportunity to learn a lot from each other. They can learn how to have more fun
from you, and not take things so seriously. You can learn how to think things through
more analytically, and avoid more mistakes. Bringing balance to each other is a good
thing for both of you.

* Struggles with High C children:

I know you love to talk, but remember High C children need time alone too. If you're too
verbal, you could miss their more indirect way of sharing their concerns.

* Strategies with High C children:

It's best to tone down your emotional responses and enthusiasm to them. If there's a
conflict, be very objective and factual in your responses. Their need for perfection is as
strong as your need for fun. If they make mistakes, they'll need time alone to work it out
on their own. This is not the time to push them.

When you praise High C children, be more specific than your usual style of response,
"That's Great!"  Make sure you're sincere as well.

When you do need to make corrections with the High C's, be gentle. It can really throw
them off when you don't.

Wishing you the best in your strategies to communicate with the children in your life.

Sandy Karn
DISC Diva

******

Sandy Karn is president of her own company, DISC Diva Inc., a
consulting and training company of over 30 years. She
represents TTI - publishers of proven self-assessment tools
used in training and consulting. Take her WINNER's PROFILE!

http://www.keykonnections.com/quiz-test.html