Judging 15

[Phil]

JUDGING 15



"To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain
of the things we cannot see." The preacher cleared his throat while
looking out through the crowd gathered to put Finn Dugan to rest. He’d
worked one day and the next morning he never woke up. Eighty-nine
years was a long ride. “For most of us, each day comes and goes
without any drama in our lives. There are the occasional accidents.
There are deaths due to natural causes, as it was with Finn. We go
through feast and famine. We fall in love, sustain that love, and in
the worst cases that love dies and we are left alone or separated.” He
wiped a tear from his eye. “Then there is Finn. Behind the scenes he
took care to see that many of us had something to eat when our
cupboards were bare or clothes to wear when we were in need. He’d say
he was putting it on our tab but we never heard anything about it
again. He saw each day as something new, not just a repeat of the
previous day.”

“Finn’s faith led him to believe that most of the evil done by men was
done out of desperation. He thought a little goodness and kindness
could turn the course and change a life for the good. I’ve seen the
proof of it many times though I doubt Finn ever did. He was too busy
doing more to look back. I’ve seen marriages saved because bitter
words weren’t said over an empty table. I’ve seen children laughing
and playing that the day before hung their heads being teased about
the rags or worn out shoes they wore because Finn saw the need and put
it on the tab,” the preacher continued. “Through all this he found
time for his wife and his family, loving them individually and
collectively. When fate took his wife he carried on as if she still
stood at his side. Now they are united once more.”

The funeral drew so many from the community it was obvious the small
church could never hold the crowd. It was a Presbyterian church a few
miles from town that sat beside three other churches with an old
tabernacle and the cemetery between them. The tabernacle had a rusty
tin roof but the pews had been kept up and the ceiling fans hanging
from the rafters could still stir up the breeze on a hot day. All the
pews were full and all around the sides men stood with their hats held
to their breast. Women, children, and the elderly got first dibs on
the seats.

It was the Saturday before the start of the rodeo. That brought people
home who were only there for holidays with family otherwise. The first
part of July was like the others before it. Everything was golden to
brown and dry as a bone. The lone cedar tree in the cemetery took on a
grey hue from settled road dust covering it. Acer thought it had to be
a taste of hell if your remains were condemned to await eternity
planted in such a god awful place, even if his own dad was here.

“Finn’s hand was the unseen we could be certain of in our lives when
all else forsakes us. Finn was a man of faith,” The preacher
concluded. He was followed by a train of others speaking words of
remembrance as a farewell to their old friend. That done, the prayer
at the grave and the tossing of handfuls of dirt over the coffin laid
Finn to his final rest. For two hours that came afterward the crowd
milled around expressing condolences to his family and exchanging
words with those they knew.

“Makes me hope they can’t find nothing to bury when I’m gone,” Acer
proclaimed. “I’m cooked from standing out in that sun. I’m going to
ask mom about planting some shade trees out there first time I think
to.” He jerked the snaps open on his shirt. The jacket and tie were
already draped over the back of a chair. He pulled his boots and socks
off and wiggled his toes to get the blood circulating.

Blue was ahead of him. He had his pants off and was looking for some
shorts. “I bet you said the same thing after you went to the last
funeral out there,” Blue insisted.

“No, it was cooler weather then, but I remembered other times and
thought about it. Damn trees probably would have lived if I’d done it
then. In this hot weather they’d curl up and die,” Acer answered.
“Grab us both a brew,” Acer asks of Blue. He’s got his pants off now
and he’s stretched out, arms and legs spread wide, leaning back on the
bed. “I need to soak up some cool before I even put shorts on.”

Blue returned and passing a beer to Acer he plopped beside him leaning
back on the pillows and headboard. “That preacher talking about old
Finn was right about life. We go through day after day pretty much the
same and kindness to others ain’t very exciting,” Blue remarked,
“Accidents and rough rides at the rodeo being exceptions.”

“My grandmother didn’t care much for Presbyterians. She said they
believed in predestination, that everything that happened to you in
your life was all planned out before you were even born. She said it
didn’t leave any room for a man to change his ways. I can’t say I’ve
ever seen anyone change their ways for long. They cause some trouble
and get a guilty conscience and when the guilt wears off they’re the
same nasty bastard they were before,” Acer replied. “If people can
change they do it while they’re young. It’s pretty easy going around
here, not like Amarillo or some big city. I was worried Carl’s trouble
would be worse. Now old Finn, he never got robbed once or had any
serious trouble in all his years. He was lucky.”

“Love and sex and the small pleasures in life make up for excitement,
huh?” Blue questioned.

“I’d say they do a good job of it. If you think about everything you
consider exciting, most of those things can get you killed,” Acer
responded. “Back in college, my roommate Curtis was gone one weekend.
We lived in a garage apartment but the old lady had turned the garage
below us into a second apartment. Two guys about our age lived there
but they did construction work. They weren’t students. It was about
noon on a Friday and one of them was home with another guy the second
roommate had told me to watch out for. We didn’t know each other well.
They’d only lived there a month or so.” Acer got up, telling Blue he’d
continue in a minute. He turned his fresh beer up and killed it. Then
he went to piss and to the kitchen for another beer. He came back with
a bottle, too.

“I ain’t ever told anyone about this except Curtis,” Acer continued,
sitting back in his spot on the bed. “I offered the two guys a beer
and they ended up talking me into a road trip. My truck and my gas and
me footing the bill was all part of it. Denver was the destination and
it was a damn long drive. We switched out and got there Saturday
afternoon. I got us a motel room. They worked together but these two
had been laid off the day before. They were looking for a friend and
hopefully a job. They planned on me giving them a one way ride but
hadn’t told me any of this. When they didn’t find their friend, we
decided to go out for the evening and check out the Denver night life.
Each of them took showers to get ready and I went last. When I got out
of the shower my money and my truck were gone along with the two guys.
My knife, the Sharp Finger with the bone handle, was gone. They had
the room key, too. I called the cops and filed a report. I knew my
license plate number. I was just dumb enough to think that with Texas
plates they’d get caught and I’d get my truck back. I watched TV and
went to sleep.” Acer took a big swig and washed it down with beer.

“Two o’clock rolls around and they come charging into the room. Both
are my size and they bang me around. They’re mean drunk and asking for
more money which I ain’t got. I get pushed down in a corner and both
have knives, poking me in the belly and drawing blood each time. Then
they start calling me faggot while threatening to kill me and the one
who lives below me says he’s seen me and Curtis and heard us fucking
around because the floor is thin and don’t stop sound a bit. Finally
the guy I’d been warned about passes out on the bed and I’m left with
the guy who lives below me.”

“His name was Jimmy and he talks sweet then. He tells me he likes it
and wants me to suck his dick. Then he wants to fuck me, but he still
has the knife in his hand. He takes his pants off and lays on the bed
I’ve been sleeping in. I’m in my underwear. I agreed to suck his dick
if he puts the knife out of his reach. I guess he figured he could
take me so he does it. I got between his legs and went to work. He was
hard before his pants were off so he hadn’t lied about liking it. He
had a really big dick, about ten inches. Their shit had gone on a long
time. I could tell the sun was coming up. I never had to deal with
getting fucked by the bastard because he fell asleep while I was
sucking him. When that happened I got all my shit and hauled ass as
fast as I could get out of the door. I called the cops and went to the
station where I filed a report and added the assault charges with
pictures of my knife wounds and all. The police knew the motel room
and said they would pick them both up right away.”

“I shouldn’t have been drinking on that long drive home but I did
anyway. My checkbook with my ATM card was in a pocket on the driver’s
seat and they missed it or didn’t think they could cash one of my
checks. I stopped three times and took naps. I did tell the guy back
at home, Greg, that his roommate was in jail in Denver and a little of
what happened. He wasn’t too concerned since Jimmy was out of a job
anyway. A month later he told me Jimmy was home and living at his
parents. He gave me the address. Greg moved out after that. I bought a
gun and drove by that house every day for the next two years. I’m sure
I would have killed him if I’d seen him,” Acer concluded.

“Damn Acer, I don’t know what to think,” Blue told him. “Did you have
to go back and testify against them?”

“Their case came to court after a month and they still hadn’t made
bail. I got a call from the District Attorney there and they started
screaming about me being queer and all the charges were dropped.” Acer
took another drink from the bottle and passed it to Blue. “I may get
antsy from being in one place all the time after so long traveling but
excitement ain’t what I need. Every morning when I wake up the world
is different. I see new things. I meet new people. I get a view of you
I hadn’t noticed before. We may do the same work every day but
something is always different. It’s enough for me.”

Blue felt around and looked over Acer’s belly for the scars. “They
don’t show much. I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t said something,”
Blue told him.

“Naw, none of the cuts were deep. They made good pictures though,”
Acer replied. “It hurt like hell and my underwear was ruined soaked
with blood. Curtis made me keep them to remind me there are bad people
in the world.”

“Hell, you like meeting new people Acer. Unless you’ve got more
stories like this one, I can’t see how it’s hurt you,” Blue told him.

“It knocked me down a few notches. I could always handle myself in a
fight but never got into many. Crouching down in a corner while they
stabbed at me and called me a faggot while telling me they were going
to kill me, made me feel small and helpless. Then I started getting
mad and swore to myself I’d get even as soon as I got out of that
corner and they let their guard down. What did I do? I ran away as
fast as I could when I got the chance and they went Scot free when it
came to court. My self esteem is still bruised and it’s been years
since it happened,” Acer replied.

Blue rolled Acer on top of him wrapping an arm around his chest and
grabbing the bare cheek of his ass with the other. “Now Acer Caldwell,
you’re always the cowboy in the white hat trying to make the world
right for everyone around you. You can’t go on feeling bad because the
one time you needed help, no one was there to give you a hand. Well if
anyone you know had been there, they would have stood right at your
side and stopped the whole ordeal. By your thinking if old Finn had
been robbed and beat up once he would have walked away from that store
and never looked back. He wasn’t that kind of man and you aren’t
either. That bronc can buck you off and you shake the dust off and get
right back on him,” Blue replied. “Get your pants on. We’ve got to get
ready things ready to ride in the parade next week.”

“I need to cool off more before I get out in the heat again,” Acer
answered. “I wish somebody knew how to drive a team or there was an
old Model T around for Cotton and Logan to ride in.”

“I bet Finn could have driven the team,” Blue replied. “If they get
through the parade with those casts on, I’m sure they won’t want to
ride in any more of the parades. That buggy is going to be
uncomfortable as hell.”

“That Charlie Brown smile Cotton gave his dad when he told him about
borrowing the buggy should have given the old man a hint,” Acer told
Blue. “He had it set up so they could park their wheel chairs by the
arena fence. Cotton talked him out of that. He said taking a piss
would be damn near impossible. The rest room doors ain’t wide enough
to get through. He means well. He wanted everyone to see his boy was
still alive and in one piece. You can’t blame him for that.”

“If he borrowed the buggy and the horses, he could have asked the
owner to drive it,” Blue came back. “I just learned to ride, so I’m no
help. Don’t you know anyone who has driven a team before?”

“I called everyone I could think of already,” Acer answered. Blue’s
hands had wandered a little further down. “Neither one of us is going
to get cooled down if you keep that up,” Acer told him.

“Am I supposed to lay here next to you when you’re naked and not get
in the mood to play?” Blue asked.

“I’d think I was loosing my appeal if that happened. If we jump in the
shower we can do both and wash all the sweat off, too,” Acer
responded. The water spraying down on them was as cool as that deep in
the well before they got out.

At the barn later, Acer and Blue were surveying the rigging. The buggy
was more of a surrey with a flat top to provide shade and where there
had been three bench seats the center bench was sitting in the barn to
allow more room for the guys in casts. The surrey had rubber tires and
shock absorbers that were something either built in or added on for
modern comfort. Acer had crawled underneath to see how the brake
worked when Billy’s little pickup parked beside the barn. He and
Alfredo got out and greeted Blue.

“We had a big thunder storm blow through last night that dumped two
inches on the place. Since we were switching out with Paulie and Carl
next week we drove down this morning. Two inches will keep the ground
wet until they get there,” Billy explained.

“Good to see you buddy,” Blue replied. Acer peeked out from below and
gave him a nod. Alfredo was checking out the surrey like a kid with a
new toy, walking all around it. As Acer pulled himself up to stand
next to Alfredo, Alfredo was running his fingers along the fringe that
hung down from the top. It rippled in response to his touch.

“Grandfather has this,” Alfredo informed him. “His eyes not work good.
I go to town with him to store and bring him home.”

Acer switched to Spanish and a smile spread across his face. Alfredo
could drive a team. Leading the way into the barn Acer gave Ranger a
pat and let him nuzzle his palm. The two draft horses had their heads
sticking out over the stall gate investigating the motion. Both Acer
and Alfredo greeted them. Billy and Blue followed behind carrying on
their conversation uninterrupted. Alfredo let the two horses nuzzle
his hand and entered the stall with Acer. He rubbed down the backs and
sides of each horse, returning his offered hand for another sniff.
Their skittish twitches stopped as they grew accustomed to his touch.

Acer knew while watching Alfredo run the leads that he would have
rigged the harnesses wrong. He stepped into the front and sat beside
Alfredo with Billy and Blue riding in the back seat. He yelled out a
triumphal “Yes!” as Alfredo slapped the reins and the horses pulled
the surrey down the road. At Cotton’s house the floor boards of the
surrey lined up with the porch. The four of them wrestled Cotton and
Logan into their seats and took them for a trial ride down the dirt
roads.

(continued)

I hope to write the next chapter in a shorter time.