News of the Weird Daily
Thursday, March 26, 2009
© 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
The Trolls of Biscayne Bay
Like dozens of hyperventilating jurisdictions nationwide, Florida's Miami-Dade County has restrictions on where its convicted sex offenders can live—even the ones who have long finished their sentences. And it happens that the F State's most populous county officially has only one spot that is far enough away from places where our little buttercups play: the run-up to the Interstate 195 bridge from Miami to Miami Beach (the Julia Tuttle Causeway). Literally. Judges routinely give released sex offenders the choice: hit the road out of the county, or make a tent. In fact, there's a fella named Juan Carlos Martin who's been there so long that he showed a reporter his Florida driver's license with his address as "Julia Tuttle Causeway Bridge." This week, though, the more-or-less population of 52 men welcomed its first sex-offendress, the 43-yr-old Voncel Johnson, and so far, her campmates are protecting her, rather than harassing her.
Miami Herald
More Things to Worry About Today
Best murder defense available, according to Christopher Rogers's lawyer: Well, true, Christopher did confess to killing those three people, but only because
"aliens" had taken him over and made him say it . . in exacting detail. (Bonus: You can take a look at him sitting in court and make up your own mind.)
Anchorage Daily News
More evil spirits: The San Francisco lawyer for a victim of a $500k fraud said that accused con man Kausbal Niroula, 27, is just an "evil" force, with a
"supernatural ability to get low bail" in his cases. ("There are too many instances of him getting out and going free to blame it on his charisma or a lack of good police work.")
SF Weekly
A stationery shop clerk in Gravesend, England, actually accepted that £20 note that was supposed to feature The Queen's face but actually featured the face of (lower-case)
queen Boy George.
Daily Telegraph
But he knew the layout: Off-duty police officer Michael Tindall was arrested, charged with robbing the First Bank of Conroe (Texas),
where he worked as a security guard. (Yeah, he wore a helmet and sunglasses, but . . .)
Houston Chronicle
Economic stimulus in Britain: Paul and Deborah Rees, professional psychics, just got a £4.5k small-business grant to open an "academy" in South Wales and reminded critics that how else are grieving parents going to be sure their dead kids are safe, other than by asking them directly?
Daily Mail
Your Daily Loser
Craig Aylesworth, 51, Bithlo, Fla. (east of Orlando), feuding with his neighbor in a mobile home park, tossed a Molotov cocktail at his trailer but is now homeless, for failing to focus on the concept of "wind."
Central Florida News 13
Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Andrew Krogh, 47, is a respected entrepreneur in Sacramento, he says, and wouldn't stoop to goosing up his glass-installation business by breaking windows around town with a slingshot.
KXTV (Sacramento)
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Today's Newsrangers: Gil Nelson, Mark Neunder, Scott Langill, Steve Miller, Stephen Taylor