News of the Weird Daily for Wednesday

[Chuck Shepherd]

News of the Weird Daily
Wednesday, March 25, 2009

© 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Exceptionally Bad Gov't Ideas This Week

Sex-education workshops for teenagers, sponsored by Britain's Nat'l Health Service, might be a good thing, but it's unclear why in one class they needed to give each participant a sorta-souvenir, 6-inch-long rubber penis to take with 'em. Belfast Telegraph

Illinois state Rep. Annazette Collins suggested gun education classes for public schools—and especially urban schools, since many kids in rural downstate areas already get gun education from their hunter-parents. WBBM Radio (Chicago)

The mayor of Dixon, Ill., has just the deal for ya in this job-evaporating recession: yet another national holiday (for St. Patrick's Day)! Daily Gazette (Sterling, Ill.)

So Seattle passes a law to require developers to put in sidewalks on their construction ("pedestrian safety"), but, say, a janitor saved for 12 yrs for the down payment on building his $250k "dream" house, and he got it, and he built, and he sees the finish line . . and then the city says he needs another $15,000 to put in that sidewalk. No, he's not a developer, but it's new construction. And, no, not a single other home on his block has a sidewalk (hence, his "sidewalk to nowhere"). And no, there's probably not gonna be any other sidewalks there for years because tear-down/rebuilds are exempt. Also, no, there's nothing we can do about it, officials say. Seattle Times

More Things to Worry About Today

Recurring: Another cat-hoarding woman, 61, had at least 8, plus feral ones constantly on her property, plus, in the back room, the 96-yr-old remains of her long-expired mother, "fused to the bed." (Bonus: A neighbor admitted she had put up with the smell for at least 10 yrs.) WKMG-TV (Orlando)

Recurring: Another one of those DNA-revelation cases: Brit Sean Hodgson (27 yrs in lockup for a murder) was released last week and then a couple of days later while crossing a street got hit by a taxi (but he's OK). Daily Mail

Her husband always up and left every time she tried to complain to him, she said, so she decided to sneak up while he was sleeping and handcuff herself to him so he couldn't leave. Associated Press via Yahoo

A partygoer assaulted a police officer in Wichita, Kan. (Bonus: "Officer" was a police horse; weapon was a 5-ft-long inflated plastic penis.) Wichita Eagle

Your Daily Loser
David Maksimik, 59, was in court yesterday answering for a January bank robbery in Darien, Conn., whose aftermath was as follows: crashed getaway car, took bus and then taxi home, discovered roommate dead, called 911, police responded to the call, glimpsed the bank's bag on Maksimik's bed. Connecticut Post (Bridgeport)

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
John Coppes, 25, Mena, Ark., might be guilty of trespass (plus, in another state, ya could be judging him on having had "indecent sexual intercourse," but in Arkansas, that crime applies only to human-on-human sex). Associated Press via WLFI-TV (Lafayette, La.)

Your Daily Jury Duty Bonus
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Stacie Smith, 25, Elyria, Ohio, might not look like she'd have trouble holding onto a man so why would she have taken the risk of smuggling drugs into jail for her boyfriend? Plain Dealer (Cleveland)

Today's Newsrangers: Jeffrey Mosdell, Harry Farkas, Steve Miller, Reid Stacey, Harold Gaines, Tracy Phillips