News of the Weird Daily for Friday

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Chuck Shepherd

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Apr 3, 2009, 4:04:01 PM4/3/09
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News of the Weird Daily
Friday, April 3, 2009

© 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Things to Worry About Today

Am I the only person who didn't know that a man could "fracture" his penis (i.e., "I heard a pop," the victim said)? In a courtroom this week in Media, Pa., urologist Pierre Ghayad is having to answer for not recognizing the symptoms. Delaware County Daily Times

Alcohol Was Involved: (1) Carlos Lupercio, 49, was sentenced in Lincoln, Neb., to 2-to-4 yrs in prison for shooting at his neighbor with a crossbow to "settle" the dispute over whether his pit bull was a Labrador or not. (2) Three teenagers shot up a trailer home in Lakeville, Minn., Wednesday, apparently because of disappointment that there weren't no women at that-there party they had showed up fer. Associated Press via Yahoo /// Associated Press via WCCO-TV (Minneapolis)

Miracle: Mr. Jory Aebly was shot in the head in Cleveland, Ohio, in February, and no doctors, none, gave him any chance of survival, yet he was discharged this week, and now the hospital chaplain's endorphins are in overdrive because he had "treated" Aebly with a rosary once extra-specially blessed by Pope John Paul II. ABC News

Texas Justice: They don't do "death penalty" cases very well, but they nailed this one: The State Commission on Judicial Conduct charged Judge Gustavo Garza with improper sentencing, i.e., he would waive a $500 fine for parents of truants if they'd spank their kids (clothed) right there in the courtroom. Associated Press via KENS-TV (San Antonio)

Your Daily Loser
It says here that a woman was arrested when she tried to leave a Schnucks grocery store in the St. Louis suburb of Arnold with $1,200 worth of shoplifted stuff but might have gone free had she (a) tried to leave via the correct automatic door rather than the one that wouldn't open for her, or (b) not made such a scene about the door not opening and just quietly eased over to the correct door. Naturally, she did neither. KSDK-TV (St. Louis)

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
David Brown, 48, Oak Hill, Fla., charged in a strange arrangement: Looks like there was kinda a neighborhood community tanning bed in a "shed" in his back yard, and neighbor girls used it, and then there was a secret camera in there. [Ed.: I dunno. That's what it sounds like. It's a small, rural town so maybe tanning beds are scarce.] Orlando Sentinel

Today's Newsrangers: Paul Pruitt, Willy Carswell, Phil Carhart

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