News of the Weird Daily for Monday

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Chuck Shepherd

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Mar 30, 2009, 2:59:55 PM3/30/09
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News of the Weird Daily
Monday, March 30, 2009

© 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Things to Worry About Today

Terry Nichols, serving a life term for being Timothy McVeigh's go-fer, filed a lawsuit against prison officials for not serving him nutritious food, which he says constitutes cruel and unusual punishment, in that it destroy God's "holy temple . . . my body." Associated Press via KMGH-TV (Denver)

The Dept. of Veterans Affairs decided to impose a co-pay for a roadside-bomb-disabled soldier who thought his best hope for saving his leg was to, y'know, go outside the network, so he did, and the 13th surgery on the leg saved it, whereupon the gov't sent him a bill for $3,000 (Seriously). CNN

In Sun City Center, Fla., golf carts can use public roads as long as they don't hit 20 mph on the speedometer, but still, the geezers swap out their motors for souped-up versions, plus add fancy tires, shiny rims, and brush guards. St. Petersburg Times

The Buffalo, N.Y., city council approved a new Muslim-owned slaughterhouse to share space in a building that already houses a Subway sandwich shop. Buffalo News

A Japanese law professor who's been teaching in Australia for 10 yrs was convicted of harassing officials (via the traditional Japanese way of relentless phone-calling), whereupon she went nuts in court, "screaming," "claiming she was about to soil herself," and of course "exposing her buttocks." The aristocrat! Courier-Mail (Brisbane)

Worse Sex Life Than Yours: Bob Epley, 56, Nashville, Tenn., was arrested for hiring kids for sex, specifically, to "place him in a stranglehold with their legs" "in order to create an autoerotic sensation." The Tennessean

Even now, some people still have too much money: The sculpture of a cat that will go to auction in May in NYC is expected to bring $16m-$22m. Reuters

William Bieber, 35, was arrested in Chehalis, Wash., for sneaking meth into his wife's water because, nursing their 3-month-old, she seemed not to have any energy left for cleaning the house. Associated Press via Seattle Post-Intelligencer

A slightly intoxicated motorcyclist crashed into wild pigs on the road in 2003 and messed himself up badly, and a jury decided that was California's fault for not putting up "Wild Pigs" signs on the highway. (Bonus: Good luck collecting $8.6m from a state that's almost bankrupt.) Associated Press via KOVR-TV (Sacramento)

Recurring (embarrassing) Theme: A Saginaw, Mich., man [Ed.: No, not the one humping the vacuum cleaner at the carwash] got his finger stuck in his car's gas tank, and it took firefighters 4 hours to get it loose. Saginaw News [finger] /// Saginaw News [vacuum]

Recurring Theme: It says here that a newspaper in Quanzhou, China, reported a suicidal Chinese woman's jumping off a building and landing on a non-suicidal man, killing him (her boyfriend!) but sparing her. Daily Telegraph (London)

Your Daily Loser
Brian Round, Eustis, Fla., apparently one of the thousands of 17-yr-olds confident that they've got everything figured out, called up his friends and told them he had been "messing with people" using his police-style lights in his car but was sure he was home-free because none of his friends "would rat me out." Brian was making the calls on his cell phone from an interrogation room at the police station during a break, and he didn't think anybody would be monitoring. Orlando Sentinel

Your Daily Jury Duty
["In America, a person is presumed innocent until the mug shot is released"]
Does Mark Adams, 31, Golden Gate, Fla., look like the kind of fella who'd throw a full can of soda in the face of his 70-yr-old mother just because she accidentally stepped on his toe? WINK-TV (Fort Myers)

Today's Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Paul Woolwine, Andrew Gibson, Matt Mirapaul, and a boatload o' people who tipped me to the carwash case last week (which I had already covered when the poor guy was arrested)

Chuck Shepherd

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Apr 6, 2009, 11:21:55 AM4/6/09
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News of the Weird Daily
Monday, March 30, 2009

© 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

A NOTE FROM CHUCK:
I've come into another project unrelated to News of the Weird that will require me to cut back on the ambitiousness of what I intended with NOTW Daily and the [News] posts on Weird Universe. Please don't think harshly of me. I still have to do the weekly News of the Weird column, which means I still have to scan lots of news sources daily and still need to be tipped to news from readers, and I'll continue to share the most interesting stuff daily on Weird Universe. It's just that I can't spend the time specially selecting for, composing, and editing posts in blog format. The post immediately following this one is what they'll look like from now on. Again, please don't think harshly of me. I realize that this new format might not work for everyone, and I regret that (but if you're dissatisfied, I promise to refund your purchase price). (As always, if you wish to unsubscribe from this list, please use the googlegroups link at the bottom.)
e-mail: Chuck at WeirdUniverse dot net, WeirdNews at Earthlink dot net

Chuck's Links for Monday, April 6, 2009

The ol' gas pedal/brake pedal problem . . on a mobility scooter. BBC News

7 yrs, $100k fighting foreclosure, all because he's defiant over a homeowner restriction requiring leashing his dog. St. Petersburg Times

Authorities raid home of a couple that bragged about shoplifting, on a "Dr. Phil" show. San Diego Union-Tribune

Cops in Haderslev, Denmark, searched the house for him but couldn't find him, until he went on a farting spree from a closet. Copenhagen Post

Another of those mindless teenage sleep-outs that supposedly sensitize kids to the plight of the homeless. TCPalm.com

A mudding park where you can take your lovingly-customized monster trucks and slosh around all day for $30 (the "Redneck Yacht Club" near Naples, Fla.). Sarasota Herald-Tribune

You'll get my gun only when you pry it from my cold, dead hand (OK, no prob!). Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Murder and drugs give Detroit cops a problem, but they're all over the pillow-fighters. Detroit News

Fairfax County, Va., public schools rules: Heroin, 5-day suspension. Birth control pill, 2 weeks. Washington Post

Your guess is as good as mine on what his crime was. The Smoking Gun

Today's Newsrangers: Peter Smagorinsky, Karl Olson, David Swanson, Joe Littrell

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