News of the Weird Daily for Wednesday

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Chuck Shepherd

Apr 8, 2009, 5:02:29 PM4/8/09
News of the Weird Daily

© 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Chuck's Links for Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Almost No Longer Weird: 911 calls for [restaurant didn't serve enough shrimp in the fried rice]. Associated Press via Yahoo

A gov't fire and rescue service in Britain requires firefighters to use long poles to test ceiling alarms . . because stepladders are dangerous. Daily Mail

Recurring: Vero Beach is the latest F State jurisdiction to use what has become the standard state definition of the area of the ass that must be covered in public (easier to understand if you're good at geometry).

Sounds Like a Joke (just like other reality-show concepts once did): Someone's Gotta Go (in production at Fox), where employees of an actual small company decide which one of them actually gets laid off. Washington Post

Americorps volunteers in Denver fan out . . to help people with that analog-to-digital TV thing. KUSA-TV

A trotters' track in Paris is giving away bags of horse manure (but it's champions' poop—only the best!). Agence France-Presse via Yahoo

Alfonso Rizzuto walked into the post office in Kingston, Pa., on business, not realizing that right there on the wall was a wanted poster for fugitive Alfonso Rizzuto. Times Leader (Wilkes-Barre)

$9/hour entertainment charge at one of 39 Tokyo "cat cafes," where trendy or lonely people get to pet the kitties while they sip tea.

The Pentagon has been dressing pigs in body armor, strapping them into Humvees, and setting off roadside bombs to see if armor helps/hurts with brain injuries (because pigs' brains are like ours!). USA Today

[Jury Duty] Daniel Alexander, 39, charged with killing his mobile-home roommate [top photo is the victim; Alexander's underneath]. Palm Beach Post

Today's Newsrangers: Scott Langill, Cassie Sperry

Chuck Shepherd

Apr 15, 2009, 11:07:33 AM4/15/09
News of the Weird Daily

169; 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Chuck's Links for Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A New York City gallery is featuring Corpus Extremus (LIFE+), showcasing "post-natural history," such as the goat genetically engineered to produce spider's silk, and the performance artist "Stelarc" preparing his arm to be implanted with a human ear that will eventually be Bluetoothed up for Internet access. New York Times

Gerardo Arellano and his wife were arrested in suburban Chicago on suspicion of pirating films after he was caught videoing Hannah Montana: The Movie in a theater, and cops found 44,000 CDs and DVDs at home, which Gerardo said, Oh, those? They're just my mom's. Chicago Tribune

Why labor unions get a bad name: A gov't clerk in Binghamton, N.Y., who works next door to that massacred social services center and who had his building locked down during the emergency, filed a formal complaint demanding compensation for missing his lunch hour that day. Press & Sun-Bulletin (Binghamton)

Nothing to see here, folks: Among the commodities now owned by Lehman Brothers in the course of liquidating its assets is 250 tons of uranium cake. Bloomberg News

Baxter, a spaniel in Palmerston, Australia, survived swallowing his owner's g-string undie, but Baxter's just an amateur, growled Bailey, the Poole, England, golden retriever who is recovering from surgery that removed 17 garments from his belly. Northern Territory News /// Daily Telegraph (London)
The Vagina Monologues continues bring a dollop of liberation to backward, patriarchal societies where it is introduced, like in Kyrgyzstan, which allowed productions in March (in English) and last week (in Russian). However, it was vetoed in another backward location . . Lawrence, Mass. (but the superintendent of schools's decision killing a drama-department production was itself overturned by the school board). /// Eagle-Tribune (North Andover, Mass.)

Happy Birthday to Frederick Bertrang, 31 today, arrested last week after his mom declined his request for $2 to pay a bar cover charge, whereupon he went nuts, stabbed her and his girlfriend and shot mom in the leg three times with his AK-47. Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee)

Busted in Houston, Tex., for practicing law without a license: Mr. Perry Mason, 43. Houston Chronicle

[Jury Duty] [Ed.: This is gonna hurt, ladies and gentlemen. It's gonna hurt bad.] Matthew Smith, 31, Phoenix, Ariz., charged with possession of marijuana [but it's OK with me if he goes straight to morphine] KTAR Radio

Today's Newsrangers: David Melcher, Peter Hine, Stephen Taylor

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