Alright. Deep breath. Because this is one of those moments where you either unload the truth or you let it rot inside you until it turns into ulcers. So I’ve got a genuine question for the MAGA crowd, and don’t worry, I’ll go slow so everyone can keep up. How many of you actually voted to invade Greenland? Show of hands. Anyone? No? Weird. How many of you voted to roll into Venezuela, kidnap their president, start flogging their oil, and quietly park the cash in a private bank account in Qatar like it’s some dodgy offshore gambling account? Anyone tick that box? No? How about an international trade war that jacks up prices on everything you buy, food, TVs, cars, rent, the whole bloody lot. That one ring a bell? Is that what you thought you were signing up for? Because here’s the thing. None of this was on the brochure. This wasn’t the promise. This wasn’t the sales pitch. You were sold cheap groceries, cheap fuel, strong borders, tough guy leadership and winning so much you’d get sick of it. Instead you got tariffs that function like a dumb tax on your own face, global instability, allies looking at America like it’s the bloke at the pub who’s had too many and won’t stop starting fights. So what exactly do you say for yourselves now? And no, I’m not done. Because this isn’t just on the loud idiots with the red hats. This one’s also on the lazy, disengaged geniuses who couldn’t be bothered getting off their arse to vote when it actually mattered. The ones who treated democracy like a Netflix show they might catch up on later. Congratulations. You helped roll the dice and now everyone’s paying for it. And Democrats, don’t sit there polishing halos. You don’t get a free pass either. You had four years after January 6 to put a lid on this bloke. Four years. Instead you hemmed, hawed, slow-walked, hand-wrung, and let him wander back onto the field like a deranged bull that everyone pretended wasn’t still dangerous. That’s not prudence. That’s cowardice wrapped in procedure. Now here we are. Masked ICE agents roaming the streets like it’s a bad dystopian nightmare. The military being pointed inward. Allies openly questioning whether the United States can be trusted to not lose its shit every four years. The world watching America like, what the fucking hell happened to you? So here’s the part nobody seems to want to answer. When this is finally over, whether it’s cholesterol, age, or the slow fade into irrelevance at a retirement home with cable news blaring in the background, what are you going to do to clean this Trump shit stain up? How do you rebuild trust with allies who got stabbed in the back? How do you close the loopholes that let this happen in the first place? How do you stop the next billionaire malignant narcissist from hijacking the system again? Because the reputation of the United States is in pieces. Not cracked. Not dented. Smashed. And the world isn’t angry anymore. It’s appalled. It’s exhausted. It’s done pretending this is normal. So yeah. Laugh if you want. Deflect if you want. Blame everyone else if it makes you feel better. But at some point, the grown-ups have to show up and ask the only question that actually matters now. What the fuck are you going to do to make sure this never happens again? You're currently a free subscriber to I Fucking Love Australia. For the full experience, upgrade your subscription. © 2026 I Fucking Love Australia |