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Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earning his salt that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she'll never turn into an old nag.
On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never the present.
A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin'. No wife of mine's gonna 'work'."
Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew and make beds, is in good health, and already used to taking orders.
Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've travelled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Old age is when former classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.