[BLISS WARRIOR] ASK MISS BLISS – TORN BETWEEN LOVERS

[BLISS WARRIOR]

Dear Miss Bliss,

I do not know what to do with myself. I still hang out and sleep with my ex-boyfriend. We have been on and off for the last year of our two years together. He is great in bed and it is hard for me to go find someone new when I like how we are sexually. I have actively pursued a woman to fill the emotional gap I have been experiencing and finally, after a whole year of searching, I found someone! We are just getting to know each other and it's been great! Now he's jealous and I don't know what to do.

We all know about each other. She has her own male lover, as well, so she’s not trying to have a threesome with my friend, nor is she trying to force me into one with her friend. Now, all my ex can talk about is how I fell into her lap and haven’t left and that I am going to run off with her and her friend. He says she has changed me. I can see myself being a little less tolerant to some of the stupid things he does but have not shown him any less love.

I truly am in love with him still and it is not returned, so I'm trying to move on (at least emotionally ) but I can't take his verbal tongue lashing anymore and he and I can't communicate well.

He has a problem with her and she has NO problems with him. I want to keep them both... Is there anything I can do???

Help, please!
*Feel Like Screaming!!!*



Dear Miss Feel Like Screaming…

How wonderful that you took the time and initiative to find the perfect female lover. You have been honest and upfront with both lovers, and it is obvious from your letter, that you care very much how each lover feels. You have done everything in the right way and it is natural that you are frustrated by your ex-boyfriend’s behavior.

1. HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND
First of all, if he does not care about you or filling your “emotional gap”, he has lost the right to claim you for his own.

2. GOOD SEX IS NOT WORTH VERBAL ABUSE
Just because he is good in bed does not mean you have to put up with a verbal tongue-lashing. You are not in an exclusive relationship and he has no right to criticize you, your love, or your other lovers. Even if he wanted to be your boyfriend, no man has the right to speak to his woman this way. Until he is your boyfriend and treats you with love and respect, he has no right to punish you when he feels insecure.

3. HE HAS NO RIGHT TO FEEL JEALOUS
The next time he expresses fears that you are leaving him for your lover and her man, tell him he SHOULD be worried. You will leave him because he is not doing the work to keep you! She has not taken you away from him. He gave you up a year ago.

4. LOVE IS CHANGING YOU
You are changing. You are experiencing a fulfilling love affair and that naturally has improved your confidence, made you sexier and stronger. You are also demonstrating a new independent side of yourself which threatens his comfortable situation with you.

Darling girl, there is no need to scream.
He is not your boyfriend and he does not love you the way you deserve to be loved.
If he disrespects you again, walk out the door.
He has not given you reason to stay.

XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO
BLISS

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Posted By BLISS WARRIOR to BLISS WARRIOR at 12/13/2007 05:48:00 PM