N.J. Gay Marriage Law to Take Effect Monday
Pastor Dale Morgan
N.J. Gay Marriage Law to Take Effect Monday*
Sunday February 18, 2007 7:01 PM
By GEOFF MULVIHILL
Associated Press Writer
HADDONFIELD, N.J. (AP) - Diane Marini used to joke that she was always
the bridesmaid and never the bride because, as a lesbian, she thought it
was unlikely New Jersey would ever approve same-sex marriage.
Still, she and longtime partner Marilyn Maneely campaigned for gay
marriage. They were among seven couples who sued the state in 2002
demanding the right to marry. While their suit didn't lead to a gay
marriage law, it has led to New Jersey becoming the third state to offer
civil unions to same-sex couples.
The civil unions law takes effect Monday and some same-sex couples are
planning ceremonies. For couples who are not already in civil unions
from other states, however, there is a 72-hour waiting period after
applying for a license - just like with marriages. A few town halls
around the state planned to open at 12:01 a.m. Monday so couples could
filed their applications.
It will be a bittersweet day for Marini, because Maneely died of Lou
Gehrig's disease in 2005, more than a year before the case was decided.
``I'm thrilled to have been part of the whole movement to show people
who didn't know what marriage meant, why it was important,'' said
Marini, who plans to attend one couple's ceremony next weekend and
probably several more in the next few months.
The state Supreme Court ruled in October that New Jersey must extend all
the rights of marriage to gay couples, but left it to lawmakers to
decide whether to provide those rights in the form of marriages, civil
unions or something else. Lawmakers opted for ``civil unions,'' in part
because of opposition from legislators who objected on religious grounds
to calling it ``marriage.''
Marini, a construction contractor, and Maneely, a home-health nurse,
were a couple for more than 14 years after meeting at a spiritual
retreat in Ocean City. Marini, who had come out as a lesbian in the
early 1970s, saw the retreat as a vacation. Maneely, a mother of five
who knew how to cook for a big group, was there mostly to run the kitchen.
It was only after meeting Marini that Maneely realized she was gay and
sought a divorce from her husband.
Marini restored a home for the couple and Maneely's five children in
Haddonfield, a well-heeled suburb near Philadelphia.
The couple golfed, went to the beach, shuttled the kids around and went
to women's and gay rights marches in Washington.
Their activism increased five years ago when they joined with six other
couples in the lawsuit.
Toward the end of Maneely's life, Marini says, they felt shortchanged
because they didn't have the same rights as married couples.
After Maneely fell sick in early 2005, the couple registered as domestic
partners under a 2004 New Jersey law that extended some benefits of
marriage to gay couples. Under that law, Marini was entitled to make
medical decisions for her partner in New Jersey, the way a spouse would.
But much of Maneely's treatment was in a clinic in Philadelphia. There,
Marini said, one of Maneely's children had to be listed as next-of-kin.
Marini said, as advocates for gay marriage have often argued, that the
benefits of marriage come into play often when one spouse is sick.
``It's a time of emergency, a time of hysteria,'' she said. And a bad
time to explain legal rights and status to hospital officials,
well-meaning or not, she said.
Phrases like ``domestic partner'' and ``civil union'' only add to the
confusion, she said, whereas ``marriage'' is more universally understood.
Gay rights advocates say they will keep pressing for New Jersey to
become the second state in the nation to allow gay marriage.
Massachusetts is the only state to allow same-sex marriages; Vermont and
Connecticut have civil union laws.
At the same time, however, some social conservatives are launching a
petition drive to persuade legislators to change the state constitution
to define marriage as being between a man and a woman.
Marini says she'll continue to be involved in the political fight for
gay marriage, but without Maneely, she says, she won't be part of
another lawsuit.