It's Sodom, Debauchery and Begorrah at the inaugural Father Ted festival
Pastor Dale Morgan
It's Sodom, Debauchery and Begorrah at the inaugural Father Ted festival*
By Tom Peterkin on Inis Mor
Last Updated: 2:54am GMT 26/02/2007
UK - There can be few stranger religious experiences than the pilgrimage
to Craggy Island to pay homage to the unholy trinity of Fr Ted Crilly,
Fr Jack Hackett and Fr Dougal McGuire.
Up to one thousand fans of one of Channel 4's most popular shows ever
dressed as priests, bishops and nuns to come to the edge of Europe for
the Friends of Father Ted Festival. The event had little to do with
prayer and quiet contemplation.
The inaugural TedFest on the Aran islands mixed a surreal sporting
occasion with temptations that would undoubtedly provide some
interesting material at confession.
"If I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd be struggling with my priestly vow
of celibacy," admitted "Bishop" Bob Roach, 33, who had travelled from
Manchester to Inis Mor, the largest of the three windswept outcrops off
Co Galway.
His torment was caused by a glimpse of fishnet stocking beneath the
habit of a dishy nun gyrating to Burning Love, belted out by an Elvis
impersonator.
"Bob's going through a great deal of personal anguish about his
commitment to the cloth," confided his friend, the priestly-clad John
Hewitt, 37, from Conwy, North Wales. "And I'm supposed to have given up
drinking for Lent," he added, slurping another pint of Guinness.
Sinful thoughts resurfaced moments later when the contestants in the
Inis Mor Lovely Girls Contest lined-up for a contest which drew
inspiration from the episode of the comedy in which Father Ted was roped
in as a judge to a similar competition.
The delectable Cara attempted to win over a crowd of baying priests by
offering them a touch of her "lovely bottom". The heavily pregnant Fiona
wanted to thank Bishop Brennan, Father Ted's boss and nemesis, for
"helping me make this" pointing to her stomach.
The clear winner, however, was the delightful Agnes, who seduced the
crowd by displaying "her lovely pair of knees".
More serious-minded Father Ted devotees could take part in the Toilet
Duck Comedy Awards, Midnight Crazy Golf, Hide-a-Nun-and-Seek, a cleaning
fluids drinks reception and Buckeroo Speed Dating.
The 1,200 locals from the Aran Islands were well prepared for the
invasion, organised to coincide with the ninth anniversary of the
untimely death of Dermot Morgan, the comedian who played Father Ted.
On an island that does not normally wake up until after St Patrick's
Day, shops and guesthouses were opened early.
Successful conversions are always heartily welcomed by the clergy. But
few can have been greeted as enthusiastically as those kicked by the
fly-half Ronan O'Gara during Ireland's victory over England. Pandemonium
broke out in the Aran Islands Hotel, as fake priests and nuns celebrated
a famous Croke Park victory.
But TedFest's main sporting event was yesterday's five-a-side football
match to settle an inter-island dispute over Craggy Island's true location.
The decision by organiser Peter Phillips to hold the event on Inis Mor
did not go down well with its neighbour, the smaller Inis Oirr. Inis
Oirr islanders insisted that they ought to be hosts as the shipwreck in
the show's opening sequence lies off their coast.
As dozens of Mrs Doyles shrieked "Go on Inis Mor, go on, go on, go on,
go on," men from the islands battled it out.
Eventually, Inis Mor, managed by the former Irish international Tony
Cascarino, won two nil against their smaller rivals managed by another
international John Aldridge.
Yet doubts remained over Father Ted's true spiritual home. It can be
argued that Craggy Island is, in fact, on the mainland. Scenes of the
parochial house were shot at Glenquin, near Kilnaboy in Co Clare.
One solution would be to refer the row elsewhere. As Fr Dougal might
say: "That would be an ecumenical matter, Ted."