SLEEP SOUNDS

[kuhrusty]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees "SLEEP SOUNDS: Stormy Weather, Rain Sounds, Wind, Thunderstorm, Rainstorm, Sounds For Sleep, 10 Hours" as the first video on the down-for-maintenance page.

First, what the heck?  I know boardgamers are a wild & crazy bunch, but I feel like Aldie is telling me to switch to decaf: "Yes, BGG is down, but before you freak out and pour out into the street, breaking windows & setting cars on fire, take a moment to listen to these soothing sounds... your eyelids are growing heavy, like they're holding up a canvas bag with OGRE Designer's Edition inside... yes, you're getting sleepy...  shhhhhh..."

Second, I don't see how stormy weather/rain sounds help anyone relax.  Sure, huddling under a blanket with the sound of rain on the roof is great when you're a child, but once you've made mortgage payments on a roof, you know the sound of rain means you need to sleep with one ear cocked, sitting bolt upright every 20 minutes because you thought you heard a drip inside.  And wind?  If you can hear wind, that means you're going to lay there, taut, staring up into the darkness, straining to hear shingles being ripped from your roof so that you can spring into action, shepherding your family down into the root cellar so that they don't take a goddamn wind-driven 2x4 to the face.  The sound of wind means you're done sleeping.

Third--and related to that second point--I think there's a real opportunity for certain members of the community to make some real money, and I will be launching my Kickstarter campaign in a few days, once I've worked out the details.  Basically, the concept is a series of boardgaming-related rest & relaxation soundtracks.  The first will be 10 hours of me reading the EuroFront II rulebook in calm, soothing tones: "Nine dot eleven.  Railways over seas.  Rail bridges; causeways.  The rail lines south from Melitopol... USSR... and west from Odense... Denmark... are... continuous where they cross straits.  Normal land movement is not allowed across these causeways, unless there is also a straits crossing.  Rail ferries.  Red straits arrow.  Rail ferries connect the the rail lines between Reggio-Messina, across Lake Van, and Copenhagen-Odense.  A rail move must stop at a rail ferry.  Another rail move is used in crossing, and still another rail move is used to continue on after crossing the straits in that same movement phase."  Put on your pajamas and clear your schedule for the next ten hours, because you will be unavailable.

The second soundtrack in the series will be a four-player game of Terraforming Mars in a library.  Hushed tones, the sound of players looking at cards and the board, the faint scrape of cubes sliding back and forth across player mats, long minutes of silence followed by someone murmuring "uhh, whose turn is it?"--this will be the consciousness destroyer. You better get comfortable before firing this one up, because we will not be held responsible for people pressing play and then waking up an hour later with drool on their shirt and a kink in their neck.  Shoot, it'll be almost as effective as playing Terraforming Mars.

I'm still considering options for the other soundtracks in the series, but I think you get the idea; if you want to be a part of this, post below.

P.S.  BGG needs to come back up right goddamn now because I can't not type [i] every time I want italics.  Thank you.

[Chris Johnson]

Where's the goddamn thumb in this interface?

Chris

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[Fraser]

You gotta go old school - :thumbsup:

[swheelock]

Synchronicity: I just finished listening to a podcast (99% Invisible) about the Shipping Report, which some people use to get to sleep. The second-half was an interview with a man who records himself discussing something (anything), and he aims to be interesting enough to distract you from your sleep-preventing worries, but boring enough that you'll eventually feel you can fall asleep without having missed anything essential.

I feel like board game recordings would fall fairly hard over the boring line, but maybe there's an ASMR market for it (e.g., a wordless, solo game of ASL).

[Martin Ender]

On Monday, September 10, 2018 at 2:54:22 PM UTC+2, kuhrusty wrote:

Third--and related to that second point--I think there's a real opportunity for certain members of the community to make some real money, and I will be launching my Kickstarter campaign in a few days, once I've worked out the details.  Basically, the concept is a series of boardgaming-related rest & relaxation soundtracks.  The first will be 10 hours of me reading the EuroFront II rulebook in calm, soothing tones: "Nine dot eleven.  Railways over seas.  Rail bridges; causeways.  The rail lines south from Melitopol... USSR... and west from Odense... Denmark... are... continuous where they cross straits.  Normal land movement is not allowed across these causeways, unless there is also a straits crossing.  Rail ferries.  Red straits arrow.  Rail ferries connect the the rail lines between Reggio-Messina, across Lake Van, and Copenhagen-Odense.  A rail move must stop at a rail ferry.  Another rail move is used in crossing, and still another rail move is used to continue on after crossing the straits in that same movement phase."  Put on your pajamas and clear your schedule for the next ten hours, because you will be unavailable.

You probably thought you were joking... https://youtu.be/_o_WF7N73Kw?t=1m24s

[oriecat]

OMG that's amazing.   The slight echo, the CHIMES?!  That's just beautiful.   Kuhrusty, the bar has been set pretty high, but I think you can do this.

[JohnnyOffice]

That was not my favorite part of the EuroFront II rulebook. Back to the drawing board!

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