Example of nonviolent communication

[Maia Genaux]

Dear Friends, 

      I came across this paragraph written by an international volunteer working in the West Bank. I think it encapsulates one of the basics of nonviolent communication, which is especially valuable now, as we in the US try to deal with our own (artificially?) heightened cultural divisions. 

      Being able to speak with one another, and to listen well, can increase well-being for all. 

 

“A skill that I learned a few years ago, which I believe is essential for navigating these divided times is: the ability to maintain perspective and to view different viewpoints as information rather than objective truth. Instead of thinking, “this person said XYZ, which is wrong, and I need to argue with them and prove how wrong they are,” I think to myself, “I have acquired new information: this person believes that XYZ is true.” Not everything needs a response, a correction, or a debate. The neural pathways of the mind are like a landscape marked by trails, streams, and roads. If someone’s thought process is so ingrained that it has become a paved highway, why would they listen to your re-direction that routes them through the wilderness of their psyche? Often, it is better to observe, to seek to understand, to be rooted in your truth while maintaining humility. Sometimes it is good to plant seeds, usually in the form of sincere questions which reveal cognitive dissonance and logical fallacies. Sometimes it is better to tell them directly that you do not accept their viewpoint and won’t engage with it. Sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all and to simply live your life as an example of truth and alignment- to show and not tell. Almost always it’s good to ask questions and to truly listen.” 

 

My thanks to the author for the capture of this practice.  May we all work to improve our nonviolent communication skills.  

For Peace, Well-Being and Earth Wisdom, 

Maia

on the unceded ancestral and current homelands of the Lower Tanana Dené, Ch’eno’, Fairbanks AK

Practice seeing and creating our best possible future