7 Early Signs He Is Not The One
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7 Early Signs He Is Not The One
02/10/2007 3:58:49 PM
Tired of wasting your time with dates that go nowhere?
Sarah Stefanson
After enduring weeks of single girl sympathy, you finally agreed to
let your cousin set you up with that "great guy" she knows. Since you
said yes, you figure you might as well make the most of it and keep an
open mind. But, just in case, you ask your best friend to call your
cell about a half hour into the date so you can fake an emergency if
needed.
Actually, it's not even faking. Bad dates are emergencies. However,
lucky for you, there are warning signs that the person you are out
with is, and always will be, a terrible date. If you are unlucky
enough to experience any of them first hand, make sure to answer your
friend's call saying, "Oh no! That's terrible! I'll be right over."
He's Late
This one is pretty basic. If a guy doesn't have enough enthusiasm for
the date to actually show up on time, you shouldn't expect to be
impressed by the rest of the night. Obviously, there are times when
you just can't help it, but he'd better have a good reason if he shows
up at your door even 15 minutes late.
He's Not Dressed to Impress
You've spent hours on your hair and pile of rejected clothes covers
your bed. You are finally dressed to the nines in the perfect outfit
and ready for the evening. You open the door and are surprised to be
greeted by your date in torn jeans and a stained t-shirt. You doubt
he's washed his hair today (or yesterday). You expected a nice night
out and he shows up looking like he's dressed for a monster truck
rally.
He Takes you to a Monster Truck Rally
Original and unique first dates are a great way to stand out from the
rest of the fish in the sea, but there are exceptions. He should at
least do a little research into your style before he plans an unusual
activity. Sure, he might really love hot dogs and monster trucks, but
if you were thinking fine dining and theatre, there's bound to be
trouble.
The fact that he didn't bother to ask your opinion beforehand (or at
least get the matchmaker's thoughts on the plan) doesn't bode well for
how he's going to respect your needs and wants in the future.
He Expects You to Pay
It's not absolutely necessary that he pick up the check. Along with
all those useful freedoms like voting, the feminist movement also
brought us the responsibility of at least offering to pay for half the
date. Most guys still think it's chivalrous to pick up the tab for the
first date and there's nothing wrong with indulging his male ego
(after an appropriate amount of protesting of course).<pagebreak>No
girl is expecting a man to drop a fortune on a first date, but a guy
who expects you to pay for everything without lifting a finger to open
his own wallet doesn't give off the impression that he cares much what
you think of him. In fact, he probably won't see a second date (and
maybe not even the end of the first one). A good rule of thumb for
payment is: whoever asks for the date, pays for the date.
He Talks About his Ex
So maybe you escaped the monster truck rally, but instead of choking
on exhaust fumes and standing in a sea of drunken mullets, you get to
hear all about his wonderful or horrible ex-girlfriend. Bonus trouble
points if he had a nasty breakup and insists on sharing the details
with you. If he refers to his ex even once with a derogatory insult
that you wouldn't call your worst enemy, run for the hills now. It's
not a good sign if he can't say anything nice about the last woman
with whom he had a significant relationship.
How Can I Put This...? He's a Weirdo.
Yes, it's time to weed out those with personal quirks that you find
distasteful or generally unacceptable. This will be different for
every woman of course (some chicks really dig witchcraft, guys that
live with their moms or Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts). Regardless,
that tight knot that is forming in your stomach while you listen to
his ideas, habits and activities, should not be ignored.
Awkward Moments vs. Awkward Hours
When he's not filling you in on his wacky life, the conversation
stalls into silence or unintelligible grunting. It's normal to have a
little awkwardness or difficulty getting conversation to flow in the
beginning of a first date, but if after a few minutes, he still can't
think of a single question to ask about your life or keep up with the
conversation, it's time to call it a night. If it's twenty minutes in
and you've run out of things to talk about, you probably don't have
much of a future together.
_________________________________________________
you gotta know when to fold 'em
Bearing in mind these red flags, do make sure that you've given the
guy a chance. Everyone is nervous on a first date and most people do
want to make good impressions, and we all have off days sometimes.
But, if you find yourself contending with Mr. Two Hours Late-Dirty
Shirt Wearing-Monster Truck Loving-Wallet Forgetting-Ex-Girlfriend
Bashing-Snake Blood Collecting-Silent Sam, take a deep breath, go
home, have a nice warm bath and remember that the next one will be
better. Maybe.