Perfect the outlet I was looking for
PinkWebSprite
Here I sit on a Saturday Afternoon after just being bitched out by a
guy for not calling to cancel a date. Ok I admit it wasn't the right
thing to do but I didn't quite know how to put my reasons into words
without starting a war. But did he have to message me to call me a
bitch and hope that I never find what I am looking for?
The history: We met on a dating site a couple of years ago met a couple
of times and ended up in bed after the third date. Each date after
that was strictly sexual no real going out so I let the communication
with him slide and in fact deleted him from my contacts. After more
then a year of no communication this guy pops up in my messenger and
briefly chats with me then asks to call. Ok no harm I thought, wrong!
He wanted phone sex which he carried out by himself while I was trying
to remember what his real name was and what he was like when we had
talked over a year ago. No polite lets go for coffee or god forbid a
date, instead let's just jump into bed so to speak. Then he asks to
meet on New Years Eve for wild sex this invitation was followed by an
email with lots of dirty pictures. The picture was pretty clear. I
knew what was coming.
Ok so I wasn't doing anything New Years ... well not true I had plans
to go to an outdoor concert by myself to ring in the New Year and told
him as much. He also had his son coming for New Years Eve and so we
were under a time limit as I would be kicked out before his son
arrived. Ok an assumption on my part but I know what its like to date
with kids (under 10) you don't suddenly want to introduce what might
just be a fling to your kid likely causing a rift because they think
you are still going to get back with your spouse. (all kids under 10
think this - look it up) I had to do some work and called to push
back the time, by the time I finished working it was 5 and if his son
was coming that would give just enough time to get there get naked and
leave. Did I really want to do that? To be honest with myself no I
didn't, so I didn't call figuring he wouldn't miss me because his
son was there. Ooops another assumption apparently he cancelled his
son's visit without telling me. He did have my number and eventually
called at 7 by this time I had had a couple glasses of wine because I
wasn't going anywhere for new years (my outdoor concert was less
appealing watching the teeming rain run down the window) I told him I
was not coming and he was pissed so I didn't offer to change my mind
when he said he had cancelled with his son. I didn't know if he was
the violent type as I really didn't know him at all.
There is so much more to life and relationships then sex. He said it
was not just the sex but it's pretty hard to put any faith in that
statement after the phone sex incident and he was inviting me over to
his place - sorry but that's not a date. To me it was a scary
thing, I didn't really know him I would be on his territory and
anything could happen. I was putting myself in danger only someone
with no brains would do that.
So why is he mad at me? It should be the other way around for the way
he treated me ... like a piece of meat!
JustMe
honest there are likely few who don't think going out on New Years
doesn't mean staying in and having sex. But I also think most of those
are people who have already had a nice dating life first and its been
mutually agreed to do so.
But considering how he had treated you in the past I can totally
understand why that is not who you wished to spend New Year's with. I
would likely have done the same thing in the same circumstances. Its a
touchy time of year for everyone.
But it would be interesting to hear from the men what they think of all
this.
Personally I think you are well rid of any man who would call you names
and wish you bad things.
To me that is as rude as you can get and very very childish and a good
sign as to what and who he really is and likely why he is not with his
wife now.
If I was you I would be totally furious with him.
So I wish you way better luck in future in finding a real man who
knows how to treat a woman properly.